Always mint chocolate chip for my mother, birthday cake flavor with extra sprinkles for me.
It felt like it was just us—no one else in this world.
Back then, we had no worries.
Life seemed easy.
Nothing could ruin our moments together.
At least, that’s what I thought.
Little did I know how my mother was suffering behind closed doors.
Sometimes people who smile the most hurt the most too.
I’m only starting to understand it now that I’m older.
My mother never showed me how she felt.
The only sign that something was wrong was the sad songs playing in her room.
I wish I knew more about her pain when she moved across the globe to be with her new lover.
Okay, that’s mean as they are happy together.
At least if you look at the holiday photos.
But I’m unhappy because I remember how her leaving us changed things.
My dad couldn’t cope with his wife divorcing him before 30, so we moved in with Grandma Lou.
I was eleven back then.
It has been six years, and I still don’t think I can forgive her fully.
My mother still sends me holiday and birthday cards with stunning Greek scenery and people.
But they’re just piling up in the corner of my closet.
I don’t even look at them.
I can’t.
Maybe one day, I’ll be okay with it all.
But that day isn’t today.
That’s why it hurts too much to miss her.
I feel like I have betrayed my dad.
The only parent who stayed, even though he isn’t the same person anymore.
25
ELI
For a moment, I think I’m sleeping next to Rose because I’m sure I feel her arms around me. But once I open my eyes, I realize that I just imagined it.
