Nausea rises in my throat as I remember Eli’s face when he left me alone after our fight. Getting up from the bed quickly, I run to the bathroom to empty my stomach. Hugging the toilet, I regret the alcohol I had last night. That, combined with the fight and my body’s reaction to shock, I feel worse for wear.
When I finally look at the mirror, I don’t recognize the person looking at me—puffy eyes, pale skin, and messy hair. There is no shine in her eyes. She is just a shell of the person who greeted me yesterday. It all feels too much like the past. I can’t go back to that mindset again. One time was enough for a lifetime.
Looking around the bathroom, I see the tub. It is identical to the one at Eli’s place in the city. Running the water, I watch it fill. Taking a colorful bubble bath bomb out of the cabinet, I drop it into the water. It explodes with bright colors and glitter painting the water.
Getting into the tub, I feel the warm water against my skin. It brings me the comfort I wasn’t expecting to feel today. Carefully sitting down, I can feel the water touching my thighs, stomach, and breasts.
Haisley knocks on the door and pokes her head in. “Good morning, Rosie. I was planning on making a big breakfast for myself and was wondering if you would like some pancakes?”
“Haisley, you can just come in. I’m under the water, and it isn’t like you haven’t seen my boobs before, anyway.” I laugh as my stomach rumbles after thinking about the breakfast.
“So, pancakes sound great?” Haisley pops her head in from the open door.
“Yeah, definitely. Thanks for being here for me. I don’t say that enough.”
“Of course, chica. I’m always here for you. I even made a deal with Eli that we could stay in the beach house as long as we needed.” She replies and looks at me like she has something else to tell me.
“What is it?” I question her.
She exhales a deep audible breath expressing how she feels about her next words. “Eli called a car service and they picked him up around midnight. He’s safely back in the city. Ollie, Jax, and their plus ones drove back this morning. It means that we’re alone in this massive house. We could enjoy the sun for a bit after you finish with your bath and breakfast.”
“That sounds lovely. Thanks.” I say, appreciation clear in my tone.
After my bath, I shower the glitter off my skin before grabbing a massive white bath towel and snuggling into its warmth. Stepping outside the bathroom, I see a tray with what looks like blueberry pancakes, fresh fruit, and maple syrup. There is also a large cup of coffee and a glass of orange juice with it.
Once again, I thank my luck for having a friend like Haisley.
* * *
I had a last-minute session with Ruth after we arrived back in the city an hour ago. Talking with her helped me go through my feelings and think how the others involved might feel right now.
For a moment, I thought that Eli could heal me. Take away my pain. Then he became the one who was the root cause of it. That’s why I’m letting go and saying goodbye to the person who was supposed to be my soulmate. But why isn’t my pain easing?
Maybe, after all, I need to work more on myself before it can all get better. I can’t expect anyone else to fix me. It needs to be me who does the fixing. Ruth would approve.
Going for a walk to clear my head, I walk around the streets of our beautiful city, music blasting from my earbuds. Sometimes I pause the music to listen to the city sounds. I can hear the sirens, horns, construction noises, people talking, and dogs barking.
It's a completely different world from the small town where I grew up. I still can't believe I live in Brooklyn! When I was younger, I dreamed of living here while doing something I loved. I’m not sure about loving my job, but I enjoy it. It has been good to have something to return to even though my personal life is crumbling down like the ancient ruins.
Taking a left turn, I see the park in front of me. Eli once told me that he came here often when he still lived on this side of the bridge and needed space to think. Maybe it would be for the best to turn around. But I can’t.
The place is calling my name, and I need to answer its call. My mind keeps going through everything that happened this summer as my feet take a few hesitant steps.
I think about reuniting with Eli, his words, laugh, and insights on different things. Everything was like I always hoped for and more. It just wasn’t enough. It’s impossible to build a strong relationship on a foundation based on lies and secrets. That foundation will crack sooner or later, and the entire relationship will fall. Some are lucky and get out of the way without more extensive damage. But some like me feel the heavy pieces of the relationship falling on top of them and keeping them down.
I am stuck here under the fallen expectations, hopes, and dreams. And there isn’t much I can do about it.
* * *
Returning to the office after the extended holiday weekend, I sense something is up. The looks I get from the reporters and our team assistant tell me as much. I thought everything was fine when I uploaded my final draft, material, and notes to the server. Carol said that it was good to have a backup of everything. She also told me that she could ask Andrew to check the final draft from there.
I haven’t checked my work email since I left for the weekend at the beach house. There haven’t been any texts, calls, or voicemails. It can’t be that bad. Right?
Once I see my desk, I frown. There is a note from Andrew asking me to see him as soon as possible on the cardboard box holding all my belongings.
Everything is starting to make sense. I’m getting fired. Great freaking news. First break up, then unemployment. What comes next?
Maybe our water pipe breaks, and we have to move.I freaking hope not.
