“What are you trying to say, Rose?”
“I heard what you and Ollie talked about, how you will wait to tell me something about Corinna and her latest claims. Just to protect my feelings. That isn’t how relationships work.”
Eli comes closer. “Rose, you only heard a part of our conversation taken out of context. You’ve no fucking idea what we were talking about earlier.”
I don’t understand.
I know what I just heard.
Sensing my confusion, Eli barks out a laugh. “Of course, you thought it was me trying to hide something from you. It wasn’t. You see, love, I was just talking about how I can’t wait to get rid of my ex and her insane claims. We discussed a plan on our way here with Ollie and Alessandra.” He takes a deep breath. “See, I wasn’t sure you could manage anything more right now, not after your hospital stay. That’s why I wanted to wait. To protect your fragile mind. But it looks like you don’t trust me at all.”
“That’s right. You should have said something before. I am, or rather was, yourgirlfriendand had no idea about what Corinna has done lately. Can you see how that would make me feel?”
”Fuck, Rose, stop it right away. Not everything is about you. Don’t you get it? I didn’t want to worry you more. That’s why I was going to deal with it first,” Eli growls, clearly frustrated.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Mr. Someone pissed in my Cheerios. I didn’t know that it’s normal to keep secrets like that in a relationship. I expected more from this relationship than you did. Not everyone can be as cold as you with what they are feeling,” I hiss.
“What did you just say?” Eli hisses back.
I regret my words right away seeing the pain in his eyes. Yet, I can’t bring myself to apologize. Words are stuck in my throat.I’m sorryseems like the most challenging sentence right now. I hold a hand over my mouth to quiet my hiccups and sniffling.
He bangs his palm against the wall near me. I’m shaking and breathing heavily while trying to get away from him. My crying has stopped, but I’m angrier than I’ve been in a long time. I can’t be anywhere near him acting like this.
He notices my reaction and drops down to his knees. He takes my hand with his and starts rambling while running his other hand through his messy hair.
“No, no, no. Rose, please forgive me, love. I would never hurt you. You know it isn’t the case here. It’s just that I sometimes get so mad that I need to channel my anger somehow,” Eli whispers and squeezes my hand.
I can’t do this. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I know Eli isn’t violent. He just has pent-up anger he needs to process.
“You should leave right now. Be alone, go for a run, listen to your favorite playlist, do whatever it is you need to do. Just don’t stay here like this. Just go, Eli. We’re done talking for now. I just can’t deal with this type of behavior after everything. You should understand why as you’ve experienced even worse.”
You would think he wants to argue against that statement. But no. Nothing. The silence fills the space around us once again.
He finally gets up, runs his palms over his knees to clean them, and turns towards the back door that leads to the beach walkway. “Goodbye, love,” he whispers as he walks away from me.
Staring at his back with my eyes stinging and watering again, I keep reminding myself that leaving is often more powerful than staying. He’s showing the strength I know he has. It doesn’t ease the pain, but it makes me respect him more, even if it is the end of our story. There is nousif we can’t be open with each other.
Hearing the door click closed, I let myself fall to the floor, where I spent the next twenty minutes until Jax and Haisley carry me to the main bedroom.
She finds my meds and sits next to me on the bed with a glass of water and the pills. I already feel numb, but that feeling will not last long without extra help. Taking the medications from her hand, I swallow them.
We both lay there saying nothing. The only sound is our breathing and the wind outside the windows. My mind tries to understand everything that just happened. It repeats the conversation we had.
Eli’s hurt.
My hurt.
How he just walked away.
How he finally listened to me.
Slowly, I fall asleep, Haisley next to me. I already wish it was Eli instead.
23
ROSE
Akiller headache wakes me up the following day. My entire body aches and my eyes feel like they’re swollen shut. Slowly opening them, I look around me and see Haisley sleeping next to me. I suddenly remember the events of last night.
