She leaves us alone in the room. The only voice I can hear is the one in my head. It keeps repeating the same questions again and again.
Did I cause this to Rose?
Are we toxic for each other?
Is loving her enough with our past hurt?
* * *
Later that evening, Helen comes for a visit and hands Rose and me one letter each. I recognize the handwriting on the envelope I’m holding, but the other one is unclear until Rose speaks.
“Helen, I want to know why you hid this letter from me all these years. Don’t you think that I deserved to know earlier?” she questions in an angry tone that is unlike Rose.
“You have to understand that Lou and I never wanted to hurt you, sweetheart. But my sister needed a way to tell you the truth about that evening.” Helen tells her. “It was all such a series of unfortunate events. There was no clear answer on how to deal with everything.”
“She, or you, could have told me the truth from the beginning. I hate that you lied to me,” Rose cries out, and her eyes fill with tears. I take her in my arms and keep her there until she quiets down. I feel like I’m an outsider to the conversation until Rose hands me the letter she is holding.
“I think you should read it too, Eli. It will answer some of the questions you’ve had for years,” she whispers.
I soon realize that Grandma Lou had lots to say as I start reading what was on her mind. There are many things I wish I knew back then. But I’m still confused as to why I’m reading it.
It isn’t until her confession that it all makes sense.
All this time and we finally have the answers.
I get why Rose is mad. But I also understand why Grandma Lou wanted to protect her. Rose needs time to process things, and her anxiety gets the best of her if she isn’t too careful.
It’s precisely why I still haven’t mentioned my latest issues with Corinna and her claims to Rose. But now that we have proof, it’s easy to stop the investigation and rumors. We will finally be free of that night and what happened.
Now I wonder how I will tell Ollie and Jax everything. They deserve to know as well. We always said Grandma Lou was our guardian angel for baking cookies and making our days brighter.
But we had no idea how much truth was behind that sentence. Even though I didn’t wish for my foster parents to die, their death saved many children from the abuse I experienced.
* * *
We leave the hospital the following afternoon after Rose has her last check. It feels good to be out of there that soon. Rose doesn’t want to return to Belchester, so we catch the next flight to the city. The flight goes as smoothly as it can, she sleeps most of it anyway.
After we arrive back in the city, I invite Ollie and Jax over for drinks as Rose spends another night at her place. I need to tell them what I learned during my short visit to Nebraska.
It doesn’t take long for them to understand what happened to our foster parents. We are all shocked that the truth was much more straightforward than expected. It was an accident—something nobody even considered. We all thought that someone had started the fire on purpose.
“Helen is going to hand the letter to the police. The case will be finally closed,” I conclude.
“It’s hard to believe it. Like who knew the truth was so close this entire fucking time?” Jax huffs and walks to my roof terrace to smoke. He should give up that habit. Especially after what we just learned. And I’m not the only one to think that.
“Jax, make sure you stub out your cigarette, so you don’t burn anything down,” Ollie shouts after him. We look at each other, waiting for his reaction until we hear him from the outside.
“Too soon, Ollie, way too soon. But extra points for trying to be funny. Not working, dude.”
It’s one of those moments when you can’t do anything else but laugh. So that’s what we do with Ollie until Jax finishes his cigarette break.
We get into talking about Jax’s relationship status after. He mentions his new girlfriend, Beatrice. Friends call her Bea for short.Yeah, Cherry is old news, just like we expected with Ollie.It is refreshing for once to listen to Jax’s latest antics. It gives me a moment to think about something else than what is happening in my relationship.
I should have known that I can’t pretend to be okay to Ollie and Jax. Those two know me too well. When I don’t laugh at one of the jokes, Ollie turns to me and asks what’s up.
“I’m so in love with Rose that it’s messing up my head. I thought we were over the past, but fuck no. That letter opened old wounds for both of us. Rose has a hard time trusting anyone right now, and I want to keep her safe. Damn, I wish I could just go back to our first weeks together and ignore all this shit that is happening,” I confess.
“Well, that sounds as smart as that moment the airport check-in staff tells you your bag is too heavy for the plane. Then the staff continues suggesting that you remove items from it and put them in your carry-on. It’s not like those both bags are going to the same place anyway.” Ollie comments.
