My shoes hit the running path at Central Park—the dirt feels familiar under my feet, the trees provide shade and refuge from another warm summer day. Looking around, I see the same cherry trees that bloomed beautifully only a short while ago. Next to the cherry trees, a grove of American elms creates the overhead stippled stained-glass effect.
I smile and take a deep breath. This park is one of the most serene places in the city. No matter what’s happening in my life, the view in front of me always calms me down and brings a moment of peace.
At least it does until my playlist plays a song that reminds me of her. I skip the track, and the next one also hits where it hurts the most. Well, fuck. I don’t need another reminder about my fuckup. Now I can’t stop thinking about her.
Switching to the light jog and then walking, I pause my music. The sound of my shallow and noisy breathing fills my ears. My lungs are burning.
Walking to the bench next to a pond, my mind goes back to the day we were put in each other’s paths again. My eyes greedily drank in a view in front of me in awe. Rose had turned into a gorgeous woman with delicious curves and a blinding smile. Then we started dating, and I got to share my body with her again.And again.
There aren’t that many women to compare with Rose—but I know that she is it—that one person I can’t forget.
She is my beginning, present, tomorrow, and ending. I can’t let her go again. Not in this lifetime. Not now when she has the rest of my heart too.But how am I going to show that to her?
Missed calls and three voicemails wait for me when I return home after my run. I play the messages, and the first one is a voice I can’t place right away. “Elijah? It’s Helen. Um, they took our Rose to the hospital last night. She fainted and hit her head. Please come to see her. She needs you right now. She’s at County General Hospital.”Her tone changes as she says the last part. “I’m calling from Belchester. She came here after your fight. That’s all. Please let me know if you aren’t able to make it.”
I stand there, sweat trickling down my back while replaying the message. After listening to it six times, I call Poppy and ask her to book me the next available flight to Omaha or Sioux City. I can drive the rest of the way if needed.
Ten minutes later, my phone pings with a text from my assistant.
Poppy:Your flight to Omaha leaves in three hours from LaGuardia. The car will be waiting for you in front of your building in 30 minutes.
Eli:Thank you, Poppy. You’re the best.
Poppy:Don’t I know it?
* * *
After my delayed flight, I ran through the airport to catch a taxi to the County General. It isn’t too far away. I'm hit with flashbacks as the car slows down next to the entrance. I can’t stop thinking about that summer as I search for her room.
Opening the door, I take a deep breath and lift my head to see her. And the sight that greets me nearly breaks me. She looks fragile in the hospital bed. Her hair is in a messy bun, and she looks out a window. There’s an IV drip in her left hand and other machines around her. The fluorescent lamps make her look ill and dull–nothing likemy Rose.
Get your shit together, man.
Letting out a cough to catch her attention, I watch as she turns around and sees me. If it wasn’t like a deja vu enough, a tear slips down her cheek. I hate seeing her cry, especially when I’m the reason behind her tears.
It breaks me into pieces. My entire body feels heavy. It’s like I keep carrying her pain on my shoulders. Needing to sit down, I take a chair from the corner of the room and put it next to her hospital bed.
Once I’m seated, I’m not sure what to say. Rose must sense my hesitation because she reaches for my hand and squeezes it. “It’s okay, Eli. These are happy tears.”
Happy tears or not, I can’t watch her crying. Taking a handkerchief out of my pocket, I start drying her cheeks. Those beautiful cheeks. It is then that I realize that when you love someone, you love them no matter what because you can’t even imagine living without them, even when they are stubborn and leave before you have finished talking.
“Rose, I came here to tell you that I meant it all. All that I said when you were leaving—” I swallow hard before continuing. “I want you in my life. I need you too much to let you go. There’s no way I can live without you again. I love you more than you can ever imagine. Without you, my life feels so empty. It’s like I’m missing a piece of my heart.”
I rapidly blink to hold my tears when I hear her shaking voice. “I feel the same. My life was all faded tones before you came back into it. Now I can see all the vibrant colors. It scares me how much power you have over my heart.” Rose admits. “But after everything, I can’t deny the truth. I love you too, Eli. I think I have always loved you.”
“Please come back home with me. It feels empty without you there,” I beg her.
She manages to say okay before her voice wavers. I take Rose in my arms, and we stay there in that position until we both fall asleep.
Our shared nap is interrupted by a woman with kind eyes smiling down at us. Looking at what she is wearing, I realize that she must be Rose’s doctor. Getting up and straightening my shirt, I greet her and introduce myself. She introduces herself as Dr. Martin and says we need to discuss the next steps for Rose. So, I carefully wake her up.
Rose tries to cover her eyes with her palms, not being happy about being woken up, but it isn’t easy with the IV drip. When she winces, I force myself to breathe easily and stay calm. It’s hard to see the love of my life in pain. I would do anything to take that pain away.
Dr. Martin starts with small talk and by asking how Rose is feeling. She explains what is happening next. It shouldn’t take more than a day or two before they can discharge Rose.
Her doctor continues. “In most cases, psychogenic blackouts, like the one Margaret had yesterday, are your brain’s involuntary reaction to pressure or distress. They can develop after you’ve experienced ill-treatment or trauma. You can think of them as a reaction to experiences in your past, which you haven’t been able to come to terms with yet. Does that make sense?”
Rose nods, and it seems to be enough for Dr. Martin. “Okay then, a nurse will come to check on you in a bit.”
