As the place's name suggests, it serves both hot and cold drinks. There are cocktails, mocktails, milkshakes with alcohol or without, and other specialties on the menu. It’s hard to beat the combination of cheap drinks, great food, and live music performances. The comfy leather chairs around the coffee tables and stools surrounding the industrial-style retro high bar tables are also inviting. It’s a place where I feel safe and relaxed. Hence, I suggested that we meet here instead of somewhere else.
I spot Alina right away when I look around the dimly lit place. She has this special aura about her that people notice wherever she goes. Her light blonde hair is in a stylish bun, and her smile is beaming even though she hasn’t seen me yet. Her knee-length sun-yellow dress and cute light orange ankle strap pumps add to her charm. She’s tapping on her phone while drumming the table with her other hand. I wonder how some people have that much energy. Alina has always been like this too. She can’t stop and stand still for longer than three seconds.
As I walk through a mostly empty place, I think how weird it is to see her. We were best friends in middle school and high school. Then suddenly I never saw her again. I hope it isn’t going to be too awkward. If she has changed, then it could be.
Alina shrieks as she spots me.
“Oh my gosh, Mags, I’m so happy to see you!”
She gets up from her bar stool once I reach the table. Alina is petite-sized, just like Tinker Bell. She stands on her tiptoes to reach my five-foot-ten frame for a hug. Still, she manages to give me one of the tightest hugs I’ve received in years.
“Hi Al, it’s so great to have you here. Look at you—you look radiant!” I tell her before reminding her. “I don’t go by Maggie anymore, I prefer Rose or Rosie.”
She looks at me confused before she laughs, realizing what I mean. “Oh yes, sorry,Rosie. It’s weird as your mom is Rose too, so there can’t be two Rose Summers in my mind. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s cool you use your middle name, but it's confusing after so many years. How’s your mom anyway? Is she still living in Greece with her husband?”
I have no idea how to answer her questions, I can’t admit that we rarely talk these days. I honestly don’t want to discuss my family tonight.
“Yeah, she still lives her happy, blessed life in Santorini with her new husband and the twins. My brothers will turn nine just before the holidays. My mother and stepfather run that same hostel she bought with her life savings. The one with a pool,” I explain and look at the new drink menu. I feel like a fresh fruity cocktail could do wonders today.
Having a large glass of white wine or a pint of craft beer is my usual choice for chilled evenings with friends. I’m just not feeling it tonight. I need something fun and different to take my mind off all the things that run through my head right now.
Alina giggles nervously. “Oh wow, I can’t believe you’ve got two little brothers! You always wanted siblings, but I guess not this way.” We’re quiet until she speaks again. “If I’m being honest, it also feels weird to be here right now. Doesn’t it?” She fidgets in her seat and looks everywhere but at me. It’s understandable as this is the first time we have talked face to face since our junior year in high school.
There’s another moment of silence before I open my mouth. “Yeah, but I’m happy you messaged; it was refreshing to hear from you. I thought you would never want to see me again.”
That’s an understatement if there ever was one. I remember how my Grandma Lou told me that Alina’s parents were uncomfortable with her spending time with me after the fire and aftermath. I cried for hours that night while Grandma Lou held me and stroked my curls. I’d lost another important person in my life. Now she was sitting in front of me, smiling hesitantly.
“Oh, Rosie, I wanted to contact you so many times, but it was your grandma who told me not to. I was so stupid for listening to her. She just told me how you weren’t over everything that happened and needed space from all of us,” Alina admits, and looks at me with shame in her bright blue eyes.I can see the truth behind them. Alina’s eyes tell me everything I need to know right now. She could never lie to me.
I wish I could ask Grandma Lou what she was thinking. It isn’t the first time I have heard something similar. I can’t believe this—that old bitty. Once again, she’s messed with my life. Too bad she can’t explain herself as she has been a permanent resident of our hometown cemetery for the past four years. I wish there were a way to get more answers from her.
“Well, she doesn’t make my decisions for me anymore, so here we are. What do you like to drink? I might order a raspberry mojito, it sounds mouth-watering!” I cheerily exclaim distracting myself from the new information dropped on me.
* * *
We say a quick hello to Soph, my friend who works behind the bar while ordering our drinks. I notice the massive diamond on Alina’s ring finger as we get back to our table. Gaping at her, I wonder how I missed it earlier. I must have been really in my head ignoring something so shiny.
“Alina, I can’t believe I missed that huge rock! Tell me all the details. Who put a ring on it?” I squeal happily and get up to congratulate her with a heart-warming hug.
Alina tells me how she met her fiancé back in college five years ago, where they both stayed in the dorms. There was a party, and things just happened. They’ve been together ever since. It sounds like a classic college meet cute. He proposed last Christmas, as Alina once mentioned she would love that. Their winter wedding will be early next year as they already had travel plans for the holidays with the extended family. Alina invites me to the wedding and I accept her invitation with a broad smile.
Sometimes I feel like I missed out on having the classic college experience I always dreamed of growing up. Then I remember all the good times I’ve had with my roommates over the years and feel blessed to have them in my life. I wouldn’t have their love if things had worked out like I once planned. Once again, I keep reminding myself that it’s better to count your blessings than the things you don’t have. One day, it will stick with me.
“How about your dating life, Rosie?” Alina asks me curiously. I know she wants to hear something positive. Too bad my dating life is anything but promising.
“Nothing to report there. I feel like my luck is the worst when it comes to men. They’re never what I expect, and I always end up being the bad person who breaks their hearts.” I shake my head. “I don’t get it. Does my vibe screamshe wants commitment and forever? All the men I’ve dated have had expectations about our future and it's something I’m not comfortable with yet.”
“Are you sure that you’re just not comparing them to, let’s say, a certain skater boy you were madly in love with back in high school?” she questions, sipping her drink through a metal straw.
“Ugh, it isn’t like that. I’m just not ready for anything serious. It has been hard to leave my past heartbreak behind.”
“Rosie, you can’t find happiness if you’re stuck in the past without changing your ways. It would help if you accepted things like they are right now. Ithasbeen years.” Alina states like she knows all the answers to life’s questions. “And I totally think that you should use someone other thanhimas your idea of a perfect man.”
I take a sip of my drink and cross my arms. She’ssowrong. How does she even dare to imply that I compare all the guys I date tohim? I don’t do such a thing.
Poo on a stick. I really do. When did that happen? Wait, don’t answer me. We all know the correct answer is like ten freaking years ago when I first started developing feelings for him.
I haven’t even thought about my dating life that way. There are other factors, too. However, she’s right about letting the past go. It will just take more time than anyone could have expected. I am nowhere near ready. It’s something I must work on more. I should mention it to my therapist Ruth again.
