I look at him, and I can see the worry on his handsome face. “I don’t know, I just… when I heard the sound of the gunshots, I saw myself again at the entrance of the jet, when the shots were fired when they tried to reach me, and everyone ran for cover, to save me. I heard the sound that the guns made when they were fired in our direction, I heard the sound that the car made when it explodes after being hit by gunfire. I think I’ve finally become aware of how deadly they are; before that day, they were fun and helped relieve tension, but now all I can think about is what happened to you and your father; you almost died. I saw the blood after all the shootings, the deaths, Nikolai’s blood on my hands, on my body. I killed him, and worst of all is that I don’t feel guilty for doing it; I should have God I had a man killed, and I don’t feel guilty about it. I killed him, Luca.”
His face looks soft when he looks at me; a caress is placed on my cheek, and a kiss on my lips. “You shouldn’t feel guiltyfor fighting for your survival; he died because he attacked us, he knew that his actions would have consequences, and he paid the price.” I can’t say anything; I don’t know what to say. Nikolai thought he would kill everyone and take me with him as a hostage; I don’t think he thought about the consequences. “We’re going to have to work with the guns, you and me.”
I nod and pick up the gun in the holster on his chest. He says nothing, watching my every move carefully. I look at it as if I were studying it for the first time as if my family wasn’t responsible for making it. I unlock it and stretch out my arms with it in hand, aiming at a vase on the small table in front of us. I place my finger on the trigger and nothing, I do absolutely nothing, remaining paralyzed, with the gun in my hands and my finger on the trigger. I feel Luca’s arms encircle my body, and his hand holds mine over the gun; his finger rests on top of mine on the trigger. I feel his breath on my neck, and he lays a light kiss on it.
“Shoot it, nothing here is really important.” I don’t; I feel my breathing getting heavier and noisier. “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere, nothing bad is going to happen to you, I won’t let it, I promise!” He says next to my ear. “Shoot!”
I close my eyes, feeling Luca’s arms around me, his protective presence close to me. I open my eyes and look at the vase and shoot, knowing that he’s holding me, that he won’t let go. The sound of the shot and the shattering glass makes my body shudder violently, and Luca squeezes me tighter against him, increasing his hold on my hand. I take a deep breath and unload the gun, feeling my body’s reactions diminish as the gun unloads. I pull the trigger, and nothing happens; I feel Luca let go of my hand, and I pull the gun toward me, checking that there are no bullets in it. I let go of my body and let it rest on Luca’s, feeling his arms around my waist.
“You did great, amore!” I smile as I hear his husky voice comfort me and feel my heart sing.
“I won’t let the attack destroy me! Let Nikolai have that power over me.” My voice is hoarse and low.
“He won’t destroy you, I won’t let him!”
Luca stands up and offers me his hand to hold; I place my hand on him, making him pull my body closer to his. I smile inhis direction and leave a kiss on his lips, seeing a smile appear on them as I walk away. I follow Luca into the shooting room; no one is there; we’re alone. I observe the room as if it’s the first time I’ve entered a place like this. Luca comes toward me with a rifle in his hand. He holds it out toward me, and I grasp it uncertainly as it travels across my body. I feel the weight of the gun in my hands and unlock it automatically, almost naturally. I aim at the target and take a deep breath.
“Do you want me to help you?” His voice shows that he doesn’t think that’s the best option, but he’s still willing to do it.
“No, I can do it myself.” Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Luca nodding, a pleased look taking over his face.
I place my finger on the trigger and try to keep the chaos from my mind. I take a deep breath and press it, feeling my body shiver. I press it again and again, reload the ammunition, and keep firing until the fear and discomfort disappear, and only peace and relief take over my body. I look toward the target with a smile on my face, feeling tranquility take over my brain, reminding me of the feeling of power that a firearm can give.
The sound of clapping takes over the room, echoing in the practically empty warehouse. I look at Luca and see his gaze focused on the warehouse door, where a man of about fifty is smiling and continuing to clap as if he were watching the show of his life. Luca’s face is hard and cold; I reload the gun, ignoring his gaze on me, and walk toward Luca with the gun in my hand.
“Won’t you introduce me to your fiancée? After all, you left me stranded at the meeting because of her.” He gazes at me, smirking, and I try my best to maintain a calm and unwavering posture. “Since you’re apparently in no mood to talk, I’ll introduce myself; I’m the Camorra’s, Consigliere Giovanni!”
He comes toward me, and Luca watches his every move carefully. Giovanni extends his hand to me and shakes it. As soon as our hands touch, he exerts some force with the clearintention of causing me pain, and Luca looks capable of killing. “Chiara Mancini, the bride…”
As soon as the allusion to the wedding leaves my lips, the amusement disappears from his face. “It seems the changes have already begun, and you’re not even Capo Luca yet. You’reambitious, don’t you think? Since when a woman from the mafia uses weapons, it’s bad enough you are marrying an outsider; don’t tell me you want to make a soldier out of her, too.”
I see Luca’s fists clenched and no matter what I say, I know it is the time he attacks the man in front of him. “Women should be able to defend themselves, don’t you think, uncle? After all, danger can come from where we least expect it.” The face of the man in front of us seems to light up with anger.
“You should call off the wedding with that little whore; she’ll bring nothing but dishonor to the Camorra.” I feel my breath stop at his words, and I see that behind him, Francesco and Paolo are ready to do whatever Luca commands. “If I was in charge of the Camorra, nothing like this would happen; maybe I should talk to the Underboss to see if they agree to this marriage.”
Luca seems to see blood and walks toward his uncle with a cruel gaze and a terrifying smile on his face. I unlock the gun in my hand and hurry to stand in front of Luca, next to his uncle, trying to avoid a war within the Camorra.
“It’s a shame that you’re not a Capo, isn’t it? Not everyone is born to be a king; I think that’s your case.” The way his face contorts shows that he wants to attack me, to beat me; I see his gaze on Luca, and I know he wouldn’t dare; he’d never beat Luca. “You know, this little outsider whore, can cancel all the Camorra’s weaponry, and have all the guns, including the one in your holster, be confiscated; after all, they’re not registered. I can say that you stole Salvator Weapons; I’m the heir and oneof the shareholders. And no, I will not become a soldier; I could if it was my will; however, anything I desire is at my disposal. I have one of the greatest fortunes in the world; mafias and governments depend on my family’s business. I May look like a helpless girl, but I’m not; why do you think Luca is marrying me? Don’t stand in my way, or you’ll regret it; that’s the promise. I can make your life a living hell if I want!”
“For a moment, I almost believed it!” A loud laugh floods the room; I raise my gun toward him, pointing it at his head, making the laugh die in his throat.
Luca goes to his uncle’s side, running his blade lightly over his face. “I could kill you right now out of disrespect; no one would miss you. I’ll take over from Capo in a few months, and Frederico will be the new Consigliere. No one would care if you died, uncle, so be careful; the next time you disrespect my fiancée, I won’t be benevolent; I’ll kill you.”
He doesn’t say a wordand quickly leaves the warehouse without looking back; Francesco and Paolo come toward us with smiles on their faces. I hand my gun to Luca and look at him, seeing his face gradually calm down.
“God help anyone who disrespects the queen!” Francesco’s voice is amused, and he makes a little bow in front of me, making me roll my eyes.
“God won’t be able to help, I’ll kill them, and not even divine intervention will stop me!”
I let out a slight smile at the strength in Luca’s voice. I approach him, holding his arm and making his eyes meet mine. “Maybe we really should make changes; if you start now when you become Capo, things will be closer to what you want for the Camorra.”
Francesco and Paolo approach, looking interested in the topic; Luca raises an eyebrow, looking intrigued. “What do you suggest?”
“No big deal. I think you should save the big changes when you take power as a show of strength. But after what happened, after the attack, I think the Camorra should open its own hospital.” Luca looks at me in confusion, crossing his arms in front of his body and gesturing for me to continue. “Normal hospitals are clearly not safe, lots of questions, and you can’t increase security in the way you should, without raising suspicion. So open a hospital, something legal, that can also help with money laundering; Camorra doctors would work there, and you’d hire surgeons. You can serve normal clients so as not to appear strange and reserve one or two floors in case high-ranking Camorra members and soldiers need to be hospitalized. You decide how much security there will be, and you don’t have to report shootings or anything that is not in our interest get to the authorities, this way you can hide it; it’s your business. You can safeguard the medical care of members, and even births can be held there, so you can be sure that nothing will happen to the families of the Camorra without fear orwithout going home early, just in case.”
“That’s a great idea!” I smile at the words of Luca. It is ridiculous how happy I am with his approval, with his attention on me in general. Will it ever stop being so? Looking at him with a little smile on his face and proud eyes, I think not. God, I love this man, and I will do anything to make him the best Capo the Camorra has ever seen… “That would save us headaches, and no one would stick their nose in our business.”
***
