“You don’t have to call Dad, it’s no big deal, I can train with Francesco or Paolo, it’s fine. Please don’t make it more than what it is!”
“Okay then, you go with Paolo and Francesco, I’ll talk to them, so you can go to the shooting range as soon as we’re done here.”
Maybe I should really make sure that it was an involuntary reaction of my body, especially now that I’m going to marry into a mafia family, guns will be present in all my days from now on, danger and death will be a constant, I can’t react like that. I nod, watching her go to the two soldiers and say something to them, I see them look in my direction and nod, still with their eyes on me.
I say goodbye to everyone and leave the studio accompanied by Francesco and Paolo. I get into the car accompanied by them, still feeling their gazes on me; they both seem to be evaluating my behavior and I try to ignore it, looking out the window at the landscape.
The car stops in front of a large gate, surrounded by giant walls, making it impossible to see what is on the other side of the gate. Paolo puts the code into the digital lock, making the gate open. The car passes through, giving access to another gate, guarded by armed soldiers. I look out of the window at the walland see snipers on it, with a view from above of where we are. “Where are we?”
“The Camorra’smain base, this is where most of our business happens, we have several places but this one is the biggest!” Paolo’s explanation makes me smile, realizing that they trust me more and more with the organization’s secrets.
The gate is opened and I see several warehouses spread out over a large dirt area, I see a firing range at the bottom of the ground, and several soldiers are making their way from one warehouse to another.
“Why so many separate warehouses, wouldn’t a common warehouse be easier?”
“Logically, yes, but each one has its own purpose; there are drug labs, drug storages, weapons storages, hand-to-hand combat training rooms, a shooting training room, meeting rooms, rooms for prostitutes who don’t stay in the clubs, andcasino exclusively for Camorra members.”
“Organized crime indeed!” The words come out of my mouth without me realizing it, making Francesco let out a small laugh. I look at him, and he gestures for me to get out of the car; I jump out of the car, seeing some dust rise into the air.
I follow Paolo and Francesco as they give me a little tour of the base. “Is Luca here?”
Francesco looks in my direction and nods. “He’s in a meeting at the operational center with the Underboss and the Consigliere; they’re arranging everything for the change of power.”
I nod as I enter the firearms training warehouse; the place is silent, with only two soldiers in it talking. Paolo signals to them, and they leave quickly. I see Francesco open an adjacent door and walk out, giving Paolo a positive sign.
“Over here are the changing rooms; you can change in there. Francesco and I will wait for you to start.” I let out a nasal laughand nod.
“You can start training; it’s not like I’m inexperienced with weapons; you don’t have to teach me anything; I’ve seen where the weapons are; as soon as I get back, I’ll choose one.”
I see the two of them nod and pick up their guns, standing ready to fire. I walk toward the changing room and feel my nose wrinkle as I enter; it smells of sweat and blood. I put my bag down and try to change as quickly as possible.
Leaving the locker room, Francesco and Paolo are silent and don’t notice my presence I watch them pick up rifles, the last ones my father put on the market, smiling as I try to observe their reactions to the firepower of those weapons.
Paolo is the first to unlock the gun; I see him aim at the target, and as soon as the shot is heard, my brain clicks. I feel my body fall to the ground, and I cover my ears, trying to drown out the sound of the shots. Tears well up in my eyes and I close them trying to take my mind off the sound. Another shot and I can imagine the cars skidding on the asphalt, I hear the glass shatter and the explosion. I see the cars burning in the middle of the road, I see someone trying to get out of them with their body on fire.
My mind doesn’t stop; it goes further. Images of Nikolai bloodied and with a sick smile take over my mind, and I can visualize Luca’s face when the bullet hits him; I can see the pain and uncertainty on his face. I see the bullet hit Don Henrico in the spine and make it impossible for him to get up and help his son; I see blood coming out of Luca’s chest and his eyes slowly closing. I can’t stop calling his name, begging him not to die, not to leave me.
I feel strong hands shaking my body and worried voices calling my name. I open my eyes slightly, and everything seems blurry; I look down at my hands, and they seem to be covered inNikolai’s blood. I try desperately to wipe it off on my pants,but nothing seems to help; the blood has stained me forever.
I close my eyes and hug my body, seeming to hear the sound of gunshots chanting in my brain: deaths and more deaths. I try to push the images away, but more and more blood seems to flow across the floor, staining my entire body. I feel my body being lifted off the ground, and I despair, trying to free myself in every way, imagining my death, long and painful. I open my eyes, but they can’t focus, and I continue to fight for my release.
“Chiara… Chiara… Chiara, calm down, it’s me!” Gradually, my mind comes into focus, and Luca’s voice takes over my ears. I open my eyes, feeling his calloused hands try to keep my tears away. I lean my face into his touch, feeling his finger leave a light caress on my cheek; with his other arm, he pulls me toward him so that my body rests against his chest. A soft kiss is placed on my head, and I feel my eyes close, letting the accumulated tears escape from them. “It’s okay, Principessa, I’m here! Nothing will happen; I won’t let it.”
I turn toward him and let my face rest on his firm chest, letting the tears and despair leave my body little by little. “What happened?”
Luca looks at me, holding my face and looking at me in confusion. “Paolo and Francesco were shooting with rifles; when they unloaded their weapons, they heard you saying my name repetitively; when they looked at you, they found you on the ground covering your ears and crying. They tried to calm you down, but all you said was my name…”
I feel the tears fill my eyes again, realizing that I’ve gone into shockand had an anxiety attack provoked by the same mechanism that helped me get out of the chaos, getting rid of it. “You weren’t here; they said you were…”
I can’t finish the sentence because Luca jumps in. “I was in a meeting; they called me when they couldn’t get you to calm down; I came immediately!”
“I don’t want to be a burden, I…”
Luca holds my face, placing a light kiss on my lips. “You are not a burden; you are mine to protect and care for, and I will put your well-being first.”
“You shouldn’t, the Camorra…”
“The Camorra can wait; things are quiet; you couldn’t wait; you needed me, and I came; I will always come to you when you need me.” I smile at him, feeling my heart swell with so much love. I hug him tightly, feeling his strong arms around my body, making me feel protectedandsafe. “What happened, Chiara? Why are you like this?”
