“It’s real blood. From real people and we bought it on the internet. We tried fake blood, but it just looks fake and we wanted to be authentic because Mariah Carlsson is going as the Little Mermaid this year and she has a tail that moves and she said her dad is buying her a talking crab. I don’t believe in talking animals, but I wouldn't put anything past Mariah Carlsson or her dad.” As soon as her tirade is over, Tillie bursts into tears. We have that in common, too—we’re both criers.
“It’s true, Josie,” Milo says. “And Tillie really wants to beat Mariah. And she deserves to, especially because Mariah totally cheated at the Spelling Bee and you know it. Justice for Tillie,” he adds, then picks up his stranger’s blood-stained shirt and starts to put it on.
“Stop!” I yell, and they all freeze. I’m not a yeller by nature, but something has me on edge. It’s the blood. The internet-purchased blood has me on edge.
“I have questions,” I say as calmly as I can manage. “And I need answers, okay?”
They nod and I can tell Iris’s eyes are getting leaky.
“This is real blood?”
They all nod again, then Milo looks up. “It better be,” he says plainly. “It was not cheap.”
“Where did you find it? And don’t just say the internet.” My voice is much calmer than the rest of me, as I try to recall every bio class I’ve taken and every statistic about blood-borne pathogens I’ve ever read.
Again, it’s Milo who answers. “We got it as part of a kit for an online forensics lab. You had to sign up for the class to get thekit, so we did. But we used all the blood on our costumes, which kinda stinks because I really wanted to take that class. They give you a crime story and everything and you have to solve it.”
He reaches for a discarded box on the floor and hands me the packing slip he found inside. I scan it quickly and my blood pressure slides back into normal range when I see the wordssynthetic plasma.
“How on earth did you sign up for a high school level forensics class?” I ask, almost afraid to hear the answer. Eight is too young for a fake ID, right?
“We used Zane’s bank card,” Tillie says, her lip trembling. “He lets us buy Robux sometimes when we do his chores for him.”
At fifteen, Zane is the middle child, and I can definitely see him bribing these three to do the dishes or run the vacuum. But I can’t see him okaying any purchase this expensive. Or any purchase that involves blood—synthetic or otherwise.
“Ok,” I say, taking a deep breath and making a plan. “You will clean this up when we get home. You will pay Zane back and you will no longer have access to his card—thecard he has for emergencies only, by the way. And, you are going to tell him everything and apologize. But right now, you are throwing on your bloody costumes and getting in the car. And let’s be clear: the only reason we’re still going to this party is because I’m on the PTO and I promised I’d be there to help supervise. Got it?”
They all nod glumly and do as they’re told. Tillie still looks teary, so I pull her aside and drop a kiss on her head. “I’m not mad, Tillie. I’m?—”
“Disappointed,” she finishes. “But that’s even worse. Zane gets mad at us all the time, but he gets over it pretty fast. When you and Levi are disappointed, we feel bad for days.”
“Feeling bad for days doesn’t help anyone,” I say gently. “You three know better. If you have to sneak to do something, you shouldn’t do it, right?”
“Right,” she says, sighing.
“But what if we had to do it, Josie?” Iris asks, her voice small.
“You will never have to buy blood on the internet,” I tell her. “And if it’s part of a course you are legitimately taking because you actually are in high school, then you can tell Levi and me and we’ll order it for you.”
“Will you and Levi still be taking care of us when we’re in high school?” Milo asks, looking young and innocent, like he was that night five years ago when all our lives changed forever.
“Of course we will,” I say, because it’s true. In the aftermath of the accident that killed our mom and dad, Levi and I made two promises: one to each other, and one to the four siblings left in our care. “We take care of each other. Always.”
As they tackle me with a hug, I remind myself that they won’t be this little for too much longer and that I’ll miss these days when they’re gone.
I really will.
But I won’t miss the blood, even if it is fake.
2
Josie
Afew hours later, I’m curled up on the couch waiting for Levi to get home. Zane came back from his friend’s house a little while ago, and I filled him in on the little kid drama. He laughed and said those three will either work for the FBI someday, or be wanted by them.
He may have a point, but I’m trying my damnedest to keep them in the first category.
I’m scrolling mindlessly through my phone, looking at Instagram stories, and willing the minutes to move a little faster. I won’t be able to sleep until we’re all home, safe and sound. Even when I’m at school, I can’t sleep peacefully until someone checks in with me that we’re all accounted for. It doesn’t take a psychiatrist to figure out why, although my therapist tells me it’s not an unhealthy habit to have. The night of the crash, my mom and dad had gone to pick Levi up from school. He’d broken his leg in a pickup soccer game and couldn’t drive home for Thanksgiving. So, they took the two-hour trip to get him, like they had a few times before.
