I close my eyes and count to ten, then flop down onto the couch next to my dad.
“What are these false pretenses?” Katie asks.
I rub my tired eyes. “He said there was a farm emergency. A broken fence and something about an unvaccinated herd.”
PJ laughs. “I repaired the fence this morning,by myself. As for the cows, that’s true. Well, it’s not emergency status, but Doc Foley had to leave early, so he’s coming back tomorrow to finish inoculations.”
I shake my head. “He never mentioned that. Made it sound like he was doing it all himself.”
“Why weren’t we helping? God, we’re assholes,” PJ says, clearly amused.
“He said mom and dad were out of town.”
“They were,” Luke pipes up. “They went to Somerville to that pie shop.”
I can feel my blood pressure rising. “Oh my God. I’m going to kill you. You saidout of town.”
Luke shrugs. “Technically, Somerville is two towns over. It takes like, twenty minutes to get there. You’ve got to get on the highway and everything. That’s out of town.”
“What did he say about me and Katie?” PJ’s way too into this. “Were we getting frisky while Saint Luke dealt with ‘emergencies’ all by himself?”
Katie elbows him. “Don’t say ‘getting frisky’ or you’ll never get frisky again.”
“Noted,” he kisses her forehead.
“He told me the kids were sick and you were busy taking care of them.”
“Yeah, that was just a lie,” Luke shrugs.
My mom walks back in and hands me a bowl of popcorn. I take it and start snacking. I’m starving. I didn’t stop to eat or take a piss or anything.
After a few bites, I turn to my brother. “Just what is this point you were proving?”
“That you have a savior complex.”
“What?I swear to God…”
“Is that all?” Mom laughs. “I could have told you that when he was in preschool. He was always saving stray cats. But they weren’t strays. They were barn cats. Anyway, this is old news. I’m heading to bed. I’ll make you French toast in the morning, ok, sweetie?”
“Thanks, Mom,” I say, giving her a hug. It was an unplanned trip and though I’m pissed about it, I am happy to see everyone.
My dad stands and stretches. “Yeah, I’m calling it a night, too. Love you, Ian. It’s good to have you back for a night. Sleep tight.”
Our parents go up to bed, and PJ takes Katie upstairs, too.
Luke opens his mouth, but I stop him. “I’m so pissed at you right now that unless you’re offering me gas money, you need to shut your mouth.”
He makes the motion of zipping his lips, and I throw a piece of popcorn at him.
PJ comes back downstairs and wraps me in a hug. “You ok?” he asks. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m still Team Booker, but I know this has to be rough on you too.”
“It sucks,” I tell him honestly. “I miss him so fucking much. But I have no right to. I know that. I’m the one who ended it. But…”
“Why though?” PJ asks. “Why did you end it? When you guys were here a couple weeks ago, you were so happy. I’ve never seen you that happy, that content. You looked relaxed, for fuck’s sake. I don’t think you’ve been relaxed since you started school. And to be clear, by school, I mean kindergarten.”
“I know,” I nod, remembering our trip home. He was only here for a few days, but my childhood home feels empty without him.
“Then why? I don’t get it.”
