“Until you get hurt, right?” he asks, a hard edge creeping into his voice. “Because that’s what you think is going to happen. Like, you have it all planned out. You basically just told me I’m incapable of growing up and acting like a damn adult. That I’m going to what? Get tired of this? Cheat on you? End up wasted in a frat house basement? All of the above?”
“Yes,” I say, though my answer is unfair. I know it, but that doesn’t stop it from entering my head and exiting my mouth. “Yes, you will. Eventually. And I can't stand around waiting for it to happen. I... I just need to go out for a little while, ok?”
He looks stunned and sad at my words, but I know what I need and it’s to clear my head.
“Yea, sure. I’ll watch Rose.”
“That’s ok. I’ll bring her with me.” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I see how deeply they cut him. It breaks my heart, but everything in my head is screaming for me to get out of here, to get some distance, and to gain some perspective.
“Sure. Whatever you need. Just, take my car, ok?”
“Why? That’s ridiculous. I—”
“Please,” his pleading voice breaks through my resolve.
I grab the keys and put Rose in her car seat. Before I know it, we’re pulling in the back lot at Drip. I had no destination in mind when I left, but it’s not surprising that my brain would think to come here. Other than Ian’s and The Chapel, this is where I spend most of my time.
I walk into the coffee shop with Rose in my arms, but as soon as Phoebe sees her, I’m baby-free. It’s not busy in here, so I smile at Mel as I walk up to the counter to order my coffee.
But when I open my mouth, no words come out.
“Willa, honey, are you ok?” I hear Ian’s voice as he comes up beside me. And there, in the coffee shop where I work, I fall into my friend’s arms, sobbing.
“Ok, sweetie, come on, let’s go over to the couch, ok? Rosebud’s with Phoebe, so don’t worry about her for a minute, ok?” I follow Ian as he coaxes me over to one of the little sitting areas.
Soon I’m being plied with tea and surrounded by Mel and Ian. I have no idea who’s running the counter, but they don’t seem concerned, so I don’t ask.
“Want to tell us why you're here, bursting into tears when you could be at The Chapel, climbing that fine specimen like a tree?” Mel asks, and that just makes me cry harder.
“I was mean, guys. I was mean and horrible and judgmental, and I wouldn’t blame Knox if he never wants to talk to me again.”
“I’d take a bet that’s not going to happen. You’ve been a freaking saint through all of this, and he damn well knows it. But tell us what you did that was so awful,” Ian says, his voice soothing.
“Um...Everything? Things were fine, and I was feeding Rose, but he came in talking about strippers and it was a joke, but it just set me off, I guess? Like, I feel like I’m always waiting for him to leave, you know?”
“Willa, sweetie, where would he go?” Mel asks. “I’ve seen him come in here to pick you up, and I’m telling you, he’s besotted. He’s so gone for you.”
“I don’t know...parties? Girls? He’s beautiful, and women are drawn to him. We were at the grocery store the other night, and I thought the check-out girl was going to write her number on his arm in Sharpie.”
“He’s a beautiful man, yea. And the tattoos don’t hurt. But that’s not a crime. Did he ask for her number?” Phoebe says, coming to join us. Rose is on her hip, making a mess of the cookie Phoebe gave her.
“No, but… Eventually, he’ll probably want to. He’s young, and there are parties to go to and hook-ups to be had. And I just want to get the heartbreak over before it hurts so much that it destroys me.”
“Uh...you’re young and beautiful, too,” Mel says, frowning. “And you totally deserve to let loose if you want to. But is that your plan?”
“No, of course not. None of that appeals to me. I’m committed to Rose. And I’m happy with Knox, so happy. He’s all I want, but what if the reverse isn’t true? He says it is, but...”
“Look, I know Knox pretty well,” Phoebe says. “And I can tell you that before you came back into his life, he was a mess. A good person, but a hot mess. He partied too much and slept around. Yea. That’s all true. But Willa, he’s so different now. He’s calmer, more grounded. Even Ty says he seems more at peace. And that’s all to do with you and Rose.”
“But what if he does get bored? What if we’re not enough?”
“Then I’m an asshole who doesn’t deserve you,” Knox says from the doorway. He strides into the coffee shop like he belongs here and takes a seat next to me on the couch. “But I’m not. I’m not going to do that to you or to Rose.”
I open my mouth, but once again, no words come out. This time, it’s because he’s laid his finger against my lips.
“I’m not going to leave you, Willa, because I love you. And I get it—you might not be ready to hear the words, but that doesn’t make them any less true. I love you, Willa Taylor Forsyth. I have since the moment you shared your PB&J with me. Take all the time you need. Tell me when I’m being a jerk. Call me on my bad jokes. But stick with me. Start to believe that I’m not going to hurt you. I’m not going to leave. I’m not going to let you down. I promise.”
Almost against my will, my body leans into his. Knox wraps his arms around me and I absorb his touch, his strength, his warmth. And all I can do is cry.
