Willa
It’s been four days since the big revelation. And, true to his word, Knox is fully committed, which is why we’re driving in his brand new SUV over to the community center in Ainsworth for Breakfast with Santa.
“You know she won’t remember any of this, right? I mean, it’ll be super cute, but she’s too young to form actual memories of her first meeting with Santa.”
“Willa, it is a well-known fact that the holiday season doesn’t really begin until a toddler cries on Santa’s lap. Far be it from me to stall the start of Christmas.”
“Fair enough, but if you think she’s wearing those reindeer antlers, you’re out of your mind. She’ll pull that headband off two seconds after you put it on.”
“That was all Whit’s idea. We went back to Target last night to exchange some of the pjs we bought. And he went a little nuts in the accessory department. Be warned now, Rose. Your Uncle Whit is a little extra.”
I laugh, thinking he’s not the only one. Still, it’s nice to have this time with Knox. And it’s amazing to have another adult to share things with. “Knox,” I say, “I have a favor to ask.”
“Anything,” he answers readily. “What do you need?”
“My entrance exam for esthetician school is tomorrow night. Ian was going to watch Rose, but I thought maybe you might want to? If you’re busy or it’s too much, that’s fine, but I thought I’d check.”
“Are you serious? Yes, of course. At my house? The guys will be stoked. And Phoebe’s still bitching that she never gets to hold Rose because we’re all a bunch of baby hogs, so this will be great. Thank you.”
“Yea, of course. You’re her dad. I’ll drop her off a little before five. I need to be there at six for a two-hour test, and it takes an hour to get there, so will that work?”
“Yea, absolutely. I’m done by four on Mondays. But even if I wasn’t, I’d make it work.”
Soon, we pull into the lot, get Rose all bundled up, and venture inside. The line for pictures is long, so we opt to eat first. Rose and I get settled at a table, and Knox brings over plates of food.
“I got French toast sticks for the princess. And some cut up apples—no skins. How’d I do?”
“This isn’t a test, I promise. But those are perfect choices,” I tell him. Rose munches happily, but I just push the food around my plate.
“You ok?”
“Do you think about what would have happened if things had been different? If…”
“If I hadn’t left my phone out and my mom weren’t the spawn of Satan? Yes, every minute of the day.”
“I don’t mean…. I don’t want to bring all that up, it’s just... I think about it, too. I missed you, Knox. A lot. And not just because having a kid on my own at eighteen was scary. Because you’re funny and sweet, and I always felt better when I was with you.”
He holds my hand in his. “Same. I missed you like crazy. Went a little off the rails there for a while. But now you’re back here with me. And we have Rose, and I just feel grounded, you know?”
I nod.I’m still hesitant because so much has changed and become clear in a short amount of time, but now that I know he’s not at fault, all of the good memories are flooding back. That barrier is crumbling, and I don’t know how to feel about that.
“Wanna play twenty questions?” he asks, a knowing smile on his face.
“You don’t play the right way, but ok. Just don’t think I’m getting on a Ferris Wheel with you later.”
“How about a ride on Santa’s sleigh?”
I burst out laughing. “Do not taint Santa’s sleigh. That’s sacred.”
“You realize you just said taint, right?”
“Oh my God, stop,” I laugh. “There’s an impressionable child present.”
“Fine. First question: what do you want for Christmas?”
I shrug, “I don’t really need anything. But I’ve kind of stolen that super fluffy blanket on your couch. The one that looks like it was knit by a giant. Can I keep that?”
“Consider it yours. Especially because I think it’s actually Booker’s? But come on, that’s lame. If you could have anything, what would you choose?”
