“She’s all yours,” I joke. “Especially since she pulled herself up on the coffee table earlier. She let go and promptly fell on her cute little butt, but we’re not far from the cruising stage. She’s going to be walking soon. What the heck?”
He smiles as he lifts her out of the highchair. “She’s basically a grown woman.”
“Pretty much,” I laugh. I add the last few ingredients to the pot and stir before wiping my hands on a dish towel and perching on the arm of the couch to watch Rose play. “Sauce is simmering, so dinner will be ready in half an hour or so. They’re just frozen meatballs, but…”
“Stop. Everything smells delicious, and I’m grateful to have someone to share kitchen duties with. I’m kinda surprised you guys are home tonight, though. I thought maybe you’d be with Knox?”
“He’s heading home tonight for his little brother’s holiday program.”
“Makes sense.”
“Yea,” I untwist my hair from its bun just to twist it right back up again. “He asked us to go along, actually, but I declined. A break will do us all some good.” Ian eyes me skeptically, so I continue. “Plus, it’s flu season. Rosey-Posey doesn’t need to be subjected to all those germs in an overcrowded auditorium.”
“Uh, sure…because the tumble gym you take her to is germ-free?”
I rub my eyes. “You’re right, but…”
“But it’s none of my business. And honestly, I should have kept my mouth shut. I overstepped, and I’m sorry,” he says sincerely.
“No, that’s not it at all. I need you to call me on my shit. I’m grateful when you do. Sometimes I need an objective opinion. I just…”
“Go ahead, lay it on me. You know I’m a good listener, and I don’t judge.”
He’s right. There are distinct advantages to living with a Psych major. I’m sure he’s psychoanalyzing me right now. I’ve certainly given him enough to work with. I can’t worry about that now. But I can get a free therapy session, so here I go… “It just all seems so soon, so sudden. You know? Like, he bought out the baby section at Target the other night, and while that’s sort of sweet, it’s also sort of terrifying. I should be overjoyed that he’s so invested, but what about when he pulls away? When he gets bored? When he realizes there’s more to parenting than shopping and cuddling.”
“Alright, that’s a reasonable concern. Tell me this: what indicators has he given that make you think he’s going to start pulling away?”
“Um…”
“Like, has he shown up late or left early? Canceled plans? Seemed distracted and detached when you three are together?”
“No…”
“I’m sensing abut… Go ahead, say it.”
“But… He got a couple texts last night.”
“And?”
“He ignored them. At least he did while he was here. He turned his phone off, but for all I know he headed for Frat Row right after he left. And even if he didn’t, it’s only been a couple days! That’s hardly a real commitment. And Rose is an absolute angel most of the time, but she’s still a baby and babies can be a lot. And he’s a sophomore in college. Who says he’s ready to be a dad? Besides, maybe it’s fun to play house for now, but that will get old, won’t it? What about when he gets bored with usand goes back to his regularly-scheduled programming of parties and bars and hookups?”
“Again, all logical questions. Here’s my question: can you separate what he did to you from the way he treats Rose?”
“I have to. I know that, but it’s hard.”
Ian nods. “It’s absolutely hard—and look, there’s something to that. While I think he still has some explaining to do, it’s obvious he hurt you. And it’s only natural that, as a parent, you’d want to protect Rose from getting hurt, too—as you should.”
I crack a smile. “Ok, now I hear abutcoming on.”
“But,” he smiles back, “It’s fair to give him a chance, right? That’s fair to both of them, right?”
“Yea,” I sigh.
“Look, I have an idea. Just hear me out. You have your entrance exam next week, right?”
“Yea, are you still good to watch Rose?”
“I am, but what if you asked Knox to watch her, instead?”
