Just like that, I’m reduced to civil goodbyes with the mother of my child. I look up to see that Whit has grabbed a third cart and hauled a highchair into it. With foxes on it.
“Dude. How the hell are we getting all of this home?” I ask him.
“This is why you need a car with a trunk, dude.”
“I know, and I’m working on it. But I can’t solve that problem tonight.”
“I got you. Ollie’s meeting us out front with his truck in twenty. Everything okay with you and Willa? Sounded a little tense there for a minute.”
“No, man. Everything is not okay. But it will be. It has to be. I’ll do whatever it takes to earn her trust.”
Chapter 15
Knox
Ian’s apartmentcomplex is nice. It’s not too far off campus, but just far enough that it’s not frat row or a reimagined version of the dorms. I park in Lot C and find apartment 6 easily enough, then text Willa that I’m here.
She opens the door and I’m not lying when I say she takes my breath away. Standing there in joggers and a tank top with a loose hoodie slung over her shoulders and her hair in a braid, she’s beautiful. There’s no makeup on her face, except maybe for lip balm. Her toes are bare and I remember how brightly they were painted that day at the waterpark. I imagine these days she doesn’t have time for pedicures.
“Hi, Knox,” she says, stepping back. “Come on in.”
I shrug off my coat and walk through the entryway and into the tidy little apartment. The kitchen’s off to the left, with a small circular table, two chairs, and a highchair. There’s a hallway that must lead to the bedrooms, and the living room is an open space with a worn brown couch and mismatched particle-board furniture—standard college-student decor.
“This is a nice place,” I say awkwardly, setting my jacket on a chair and toeing off my shoes.
“I can’t take any credit. Just about everything here belongs to Ian...well, also Rose. Can I get you anything? We already ate, but...”
“Water’s fine,” I say, more to be polite than out of actual thirst. I stride into the living room to sit on the floor in front of Rose, who’s bouncing in a little jumpy-chair thing. I set down the two little bags I’ve been holding and show one to Rose. Reaching in, I produce the keys she left at my place, and she grabs at them, then promptly sticks them in her mouth.
“Oh, you brought back her keys. Thanks.” Willa hands me a glass of water and perches on the arm of the couch. God, we’re so stilted, so unsure of each other, and I hate it.
“Yea, thanks for the water.” Looking back at Rose, I see that she’s still happily sucking on her keys. “That’s safe, right? I mean, that’s what they’re for, right?”
Willa smiles, then does the unthinkable. She slides off the sofa and sits down next to me. “They are, but I get it. I worry, too. But I promise, those keys are way too big to choke on and they’re designed just for babies her age.”
“Good. Cool. That’s what I thought.” I hold up Rose’s bag once again. “I, um, got her something—just something little—when Whit and I were out last night.”
“You didn’t have to do that Knox.”
“I know, but I saw that little cardboard book she had, and there was a display of them at the store, so I got a couple more. She seemed to like the one Whit was reading to her.” Willa smiles, so I pull three little books out of the bag and show them to Rose, who reaches for one and shoves the corner of it into her mouth.
“Thanks, she loves those books, obviously. We get a lot of our books at the library, but it’s nice to have board books here, since she chews on them. I mean, I’m all for sharing, just not sharing baby slobber germs.”
“Good. I’m glad you like them. I, um, got something for you, too.” I hold out the other small bag. Before she can open her mouth to protest, I stop her with my words. “I know. I shouldn’t have gotten you anything. But I remember that perfume you wore. It’s crazy, but I was in Drip a couple weeks ago and I could have sworn I smelled it. Little did I know, you’d probably just left.” I shake my head. It’s crazy that we’ve been in the same town for a couple of months but ran into each other so randomly. “Anyway, I had to stop by the mall anyway today,” I lie, “and I saw the lotion store, and got you some. And some of the body wash and the lotion, too. No big deal, I just figured you probably spoil Rose and not yourself, so maybe you could use a little pampering.”
She uncaps the lotion and inhales the scent. “You’re right. I was going to tell you that you shouldn’t have. Because you really shouldn’t have. And right now, I should be saying something about boundaries and co-parenting, but all I’m going to say is thank you. Because, yea, I still love this stuff, but I haven’t bought any in forever, and I only have a little bit left and I’ve been kind of rationing it. So... thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I say honestly, thinking I’d buy her a case of the stuff if it would make her smile that way.
Rose squawks and we both turn our attention to her. She’s happy, just making wild baby noises, but the moment between Willa and me is lost, so I rub my palms against my jeans and say, “So, how do we do this whole bath and bed thing? I’m guessing there’s a routine?”
“Yep. There’s a routine for just about everything with babies, I think. And Rose very much likes her routines. Don’t you, sweet girl?” Willa asks, plucking our little girl out of the bouncy seat. “She had dinner already, so I’ll run a warm bath and then we can change her into her jammies.”
I follow them down the hall, a little shocked to find a crib in the corner of the bedroom, and a twin bed up against a wall. My confusion must show onmy face, because Willa flushes. “It’s just easier this way. Ian tried to give up his room to sleep on the sofa, but that’s crazy, considering it’s his place and he barely charges us anything. Besides, it’s actually easier to have her in here with me. She doesn’t wake up too often in the middle of the night anymore, but when she does, I don’t have far to go.
“Makes sense,” I say, no judgement in my tone, because I’m not that much of an asshole. But I feel like total shit for living in a place with eight bedrooms. Jesus.
Willa hands Rose to me and I take her, smiling at my baby girl. I’m half afraid she’ll start screaming, but Willa keeps talking as she steps into the bathroom and starts the water. Rose’s head turns in the direction of her mom’s voice, so we walk back out into the hall.
