“I’ve been slacking.” He rolls his shoulders and shakes his arms out. “I won’t interrupt you anymore. I’ve got a few miles tocrush.”
“Running?” I raise my brow and wince. “Have fun withthat.”
“I do, actually.” He winks and tucks his earbuds in place. “Good luck with world domination.” He steps away, walking backwards while he meets my gaze. At my puzzled expression he points to thenotebook.
I hug it close and laugh. “Wish me luck. It’s my first time.” Oh, goodness. I’d slap my face with my own hand if he wasn’t watching. That came out with innuendo I did notmean.
His eyes widen again with that hungry rush before he bursts into laughter. “You’re a contradiction, Jess. But I like it. Later,friend.” He turns and takes off in a jog, his long legs moving with ease until he’s around thecorner.
Friend.There’s that word again, and it’s the reason for my smile as I sit back down to dive into my journal. Only this time I don’t scribble away my worries. This time I make a list of all the things and people I’m thankful for. Number one on that list: my new friend. I jot down my dreams for the future. I know they won’t come true; they’re so far-fetched it’s almost comical, but for now, I allow myself to entertainhope.
Not an hour goes by before I’m interrupted again. The back patio door opens and Tony bolts from Deb’s side until he pounces onto my notebook and attacks with tiny licks all over my face. Giggles escape my lips as I take him into my arms and situp.
“Sorry, he’s a mad man!” Deb walks down the paved path and chuckles as he gets a few extra licks in before I set him down to run around the yard. She nods to the side of the house, “I’m going to get in some work before it gets too warm if you’d like to joinme.”
“I’d love to!” I nod and pick up my notebook andpen.
“Well, come on, then,” She leads the way, retrieving a few tools and an extra pair of gloves from the storage shed at the side of the house. Tony finds a chew toy and picks a spot in the sun to keep watch over our work. Deb’s full of knowledge when it comes to gardening and I soak up as much as I can. Today we’re prepping an area to plant vegetables, and once Deb shows me what to do, she starts at the same task across fromme.
“So Jess, what exactly did you do before coming here.” She tosses a weed out of the bed before glancing up at me. “Like forwork?”
I dig along the row, pulling out a few weeds of my own. “Oh, um, I worked in a salon. Paz Regale’s in Beverly Hills.” Any pride for claiming Paz as my former employer is quashed by my suddenly exit from employmentthere.
“Wait. You’re a hair stylist? How did I not know this and why aren’t you dying my hair?” She laughs and there’s excitement in hertone.
I hate to disappoint but I set her straight. “Oh, no. I washed hair, swept up, ran to Starbucks . . . That kind ofthing.”
“Is that the kind of career you were interested in, becoming a beautician?” She pauses, working to stretch her armsoverhead.
“No, not really. It helped pay the bills, but it’s really difficult to get a job when you . . .” I almost let the truth slip, but Deb’s a smart woman, and her interest is piqued at my stumble. She narrows her gaze from across the garden bed. “Sorry.” I pretend as though my nose itches, and scratch it with the back of my forearm so I don’t get dirt all over my face. “It’s difficult to find a job when you don’t come with muchexperience.”
“Was that your first time working in a salon?” Her question only narrows in on what I’m attempting toavoid.
“Yeah, I did other stuff before.” I exhale deeply and dig harder, breaking up the hard earth and upending several moreweeds.
“Back inDenver?”
My heart sinks into my gut at the onslaught of memories that threaten to push forward. I squeeze my eyes shut before channeling all my effort into the task at hand. “Yeah.” I’m thankful she doesn’t ask for more specifics. We fall into a companionable silence with our garden tools scraping against the earth as the onlysounds.
“That’s deep enough. Now try and keep your row even.” She nods to where I’ve gone too far off track, and then to her side where she’s perfectly completed double the amount I’ve managed. “Likethis.”
“Okay.” I take it all in and try to duplicate thesame.
“So, did you come to LA with dreams of your own?” Deb isn’t one to beat around the bush. In fact, by the way she asks, and what she hasn’t, I’m sure she assumes I’m only here to dig for more than dirt. I’ve been called worse. It shouldn’t matter what she thinks of me. We’ve only known each other a short time, but I can’t help but be filled with embarrassment at theinsinuation.
“It’s more for Coy, the reason we came to LA. He’s so talented. He’s always wanted to make it big doing what he loves. Supporting him is enough for me.” I chance a glance up from the dirt to find Deb watching me. The judgment is clear on herface.
“But what about you, Jess? You don’t hope for anythingmore?”
Her question pricks at my own fears. At the insecurities that hold me immobile from doing anything other than following Coy from city to city and praying he doesn’t discover I’m not nearly as special as hethinks.
“I mean, sure I do, but it’s not practical.” My answer comes out as defensive as Ifeel.
“Because ofmoney?”
“Yes, that. But time and talent, too. It’s just not possible, and I’m happy with my life.” I glance around the property and at the mansion behind us. It’s insanity that this is where I lay my head every night. It’s more than I deserve. I should be satisfied. I am.But are you, really?The tiny voice of doubt whispers in my ear and I have to drop my gaze back to thedirt.
“Jess, it’s okay to want more. To have something for yourself.” Deb sets down her spade and reaches across the flowerbed to still my hand with her own. The gesture draws my gaze back to hers. “You are a beautiful, smart, kind young woman. You have so much to offer this world. More than merely being a supportivegirlfriend.”
