They’re too much, the feelings that press on my heart, that grip my ability to breathe like a vice. I run from his room, down the stairway that leads to the grand foyer, and from there turn left to escape out the back door. I step to the edge of the patio, and my heart races with so much speed I have to stop. Leaning over, I grip my knees as nausea takes hold of my gut. I dry heave into a planter of poppies, but there’s nothing in my stomach to release.
“Lexi?” Trent’s voice, full of concern, comes from behind.
I hold up a hand, not able to face reality quite yet. “Give me a minute.” I stand, eyes trained on the cloudy night sky and the ocean as the waves crash on the beach. I try to make sense of it all. How I could both hate and love a person who showed me time and time again he knew nothing of love. It’s a battle, to feel both immense relief and disappointment all at once.
Trent lets me have my space, but I know he’s there behind me, waiting with a patience I don’t understand or deserve. I’m so damn thankful for him.
“Mrs. Mallory, can I get you something? Do you need a ride?” Trent offers and I turn, ready to face him and my mother.
The hostility in her glare keeps me from stepping any closer. Her mouth twists into a scowl I’ve never seen before, and she points at me but lifts her chin to glare at Trent. “You. You can get me a daughter who isn’t a selfish bitch.” Her words seethe from her lips but she’s not finished. She turns her anger back on me. “Why couldn’t you be here? Why couldn’t you give him what he wanted? He knew he was dying, Lexi. He knew he was dying and his baby girl didn’t give a damn.”
I shake my head, unable to take this from my mother when I’m already struggling with enough guilt. “Don’t you dare. Don’t you blame me for this. For him.”
“He wanted you! He kept asking foryou.” She steps closer, wagging that pointed finger at my face as her accusations intensify. “Why couldn’t you be here? If not for him, then for me! Why couldn’t you forgive him?”
“Because he left me!” I scream.
“Because you couldn’t behave! You were always a handful!”
“That was not my fault! He left me, he left you, and he left us. He was never there for us, Mom. Not when weneededhim. Not whenIneeded him. He took me to places that weren’t safe for a thirteen-year-old girl, and the minute something bad happened, he didn’t want anything to do with me. I needed him. I needed a father. He let me down.”
She shuts her eyes as though it pains her to look at me, and shakes her head. “He always loved you. He was your father. You were always too stubborn and selfish to see that.”
“Being a father is more than knocking someone up. It’s more than sending a paycheck.”
She opens her eyes, then narrows them with a glare. “The past is the past. He needed you now. He needed your forgiveness. You let him down. I willneverforgive you for that.”
“We’re done here.” Trent’s deep growl cuts the tension that bounces between my mother and me. “Lexi, let’s go.”
My mom’s manic laughter sours her already scowling face. “And now you have your own lead man. Real rich. Who’s the stupid woman now?”
“I saidenough!” Trent tugs me to his side, his arm around my waist. His jaw works back and forth before he speaks to my mom again. I’d say something, but I have nothing kind to contribute. “Everyone has had a long, difficult day. Let’s not make it worse with words we can’t take back. We’re leaving now.”
My mother drops her gaze to the floor, her shoulders sag, and she shakes her head as she turns around and wanders back inside the house. A good daughter would stick by her side and stay the night, but we’ve already established that I’m not. My body trembles with anger, and the feeling reverberates through my hands as I clench them into fists.
“Let’s go,” Trent says, but this time it’s not a demand, it’s a suggestion. He’s giving me the lead—the control to call the shots—but I happen to agree with him wholeheartedly. As I move toward the door, he never stops touching me, never leaves my side.
We leave the same way we arrived.
Together.
