Billy stopped laughing to look at me like I’d lost my good sense. “Porsha, you’re rich people, crazy ass.”
“My fault. That’swealthypeople shit. I don’t fuck with the country club set. They too fucking annoying.”
“You know that’s about to change, right? As soon as people see how you’ve done her hair, they gone clamor to get in here. Even if they just doing it to try to get Parker from her.” Billy said that just as much to warn Tiana as it was to warn me. She wanted to help Tiana guard herself even more than she already was.
I pointed to the front of the building and rolled my eyes. “And they can sit their asses right outside. I don’t do walk-ins and I damn near don’t do referrals.”
“How I get in here then?”
I pointed to her with my comb, “You I like.”
Tiana grinned and sat back like my answer pleased her. “Oh, that’s so nice!”
“You gone have to tell them to keep going to whoever they got. Or go to one of the girls in front. I’m not about to change the ambience of my shop because they wanna do somethingtrendy.Have me messing up money with my regulars trying to tend to them. No, thank you. If you can’t even rap half the words toBad and Bougieor one verse offEuphoria,then this ain’t the shop for you. Hell, if they can’t sing one of Lyric’s songs they need to be put out of the state.”
Billy took a seat at the other wash bowl and got comfortable as she waited for me.
“Gone have to ask their asses what thechitlin circuitis.” We started to laugh again and I was happy that Tiana was as chill as she’d been in our previous meetings.
“The fact that y’all coming up with this entrance test when I’ve already said no new friends is wild.” I went back to sectioning out her hair so I could see where the damage was concentrated. I saw that she had ends that had split up the shaft but I was lost as to why she thought she’d done so much damage to it.
“Speaking of new friends, how do you get along with the other owner’s wives?”
“Billy, you know I don’t. We had that stupid retreat and them bitches tried to hurt my feelings by excluding me since I wasn’t an actual wife. As if I gave a damn and wanted to be a part of their weird ass club, anyway. And secondly, all they do is sit around and talk about stupid shit. Gossip about one another’s teams and players like it’s a damn live action gossip column. One of the topics of the day for the meeting was changing the team colors to make it more attractive to a more upscale crowd.” Tiana gagged to show she was just as disgusted with the idea as we were hearing it.
My nose scrunched because who would think changing the team colors was a good idea? “The hell?”
“Right. Like who the fuck wants to change team colors to some bullshit likeBenign Beigejust because Pantone determines it’s the color of the season? The colors are supposedto reflect the team’s culture and history but nah they wanted to make it trendy. I lost brains cells going and I threatened to break up with Parker if I had to go back.”
“And what did he say?”
“He promised to take me on a recuperative vacation whenever I had to deal with them so I would suck it up.”
I cackled because that man was in love. “Oh,he’s a goner.”
Tiana stuck her tongue out playfully and danced in her seat. “Is. I still can’t believe them fools wanted all beige uniforms for a season.”
I could only shake my head because she was better than me. “I don’t know how you can handle it.”
“I gotta suck it up. If stuff with us goes the way I think it will, my Black ass children will be in that meeting in forty years. And one thing they not gone ever be able to do is play around with my damn kids.”
Billy was clapping like a proud parent and I knew since her kids were part owners to be one day she felt the same way. “Say it louder for them people.”
“I don’t see Parker giving them any chance to play with his kids.”
“But as soon as it becomes official, we need you to put that shit on. Even more so than you do now for every game. I’m talking about stepping out to go to work looking like wealth and smelling like you invented the concept of luxury. Gag them hos at every turn.”
Rye walked her messy ass over looking like she was about to talk shit about somebody. “Please, our suites already have their asses envious as hell. Billy, I’m sure you’ve seen some of the other players’ wives trying to copy what you do.”
“And look a whole mess while doing it. They will keep trying to rig the game when wealth is just getting Blacker and Blacker. Not realizing that we are the ones who’ve always hadto play from the penalty position where they’ve always had the handicap. We know how to make shit shake no matter what’s thrown at us. They too busy trying to copy what we do and don’t realize they lack the soul that makes the shit work.”
“It’s wild how they think they invented the idea of luxury. As though it originated in Europe. When was the last time gold was found up there? They had to come to us for it. Us and India for their gold and diamonds and jewels—”
“Don’t forget the people they stole to enrich themselves—” Rye interrupted me with her very valid point and her words had us all nodding.
“Amen to that. But they wanna act like wearing nice shit is something new to us. Plenty people in the hood know the concept and idea of luxury better than people with all the money in the world.”
“Not you preaching in here, Porsha. Damn, did I pass the test? You can’t have me feeling like I belong and then banning my ass from ever coming back.”
