I hesitated but I had to keep it real with her. I was dressed down more than normal in a black cotton tank and black paper bag style pants. “Because this is my livelihood and I’m serious about it.”
“I know that, it’s why I’m sitting in your chair so what’s your question?” Her confusion was my fault but I had been trying to spare her feelings. I was going to have to rip off the bandaid, though.
“You came to me to get your hair done. You trying to say my work is bad?”
She sat up more and twisted her body around in the full leather chair to face me fully. “Porsha, what?”
I leaned against the black wash bowl and crossed my arms. “I’m saying, you know folks out here sayinghard wig soft life. That’s the motto for the bitches snagging a rich white man that don’t play ‘bout them. And girl, you got the bag, the bank and the money press, okay? I’m just trying to see if you saying my work ain’t no good and I’m finna give you a hard ass wig when you walk out here. Because I ain’t. This shit is finna give scalp and if that ain’t what you want, I’m not about to take your money. I’ll take his cause — reparations, but I ain’t taking yours. I ain’t trying to cause problems in your relationship, sis. I can’t fuck up your hair just to keep that man. I’m sorry you gone have to go somewhere else to make that white man happy.”
“Porsha, I know you’ve met Parker.” She had a funny look on her face and I hope we weren’t about to fall out over this man but I couldn’t blame her cause I would go after anybody over City.
“He a cool ass dude but still.”
“Does he giveHard wig soft lifeenergy?”
I had to laugh because she was really insulted. I knew she was wondering if I thought she was a lame ass self-hating bitch.
“Nah, keep it a buck he gives Paul Wall. Definitely has Paul Wall energy. Instead of his thirty carats in his mouth that shit is on his wrist. And probably soon to be on your damn finger. But yeah, acceptable white man into the fold energy.” I was nodding my head because as I talked through it, Parker was good people.
Billy walked up then, and I couldn’t help but tease her ass about her man.
“You know we can’t be claiming Paul for Parker. That’s Billy’s nickname for Coby’s dick. We gone have to find another acceptable white man to name Parker after.” She flipped me off but then Tiana posed the question that had us all thinking.
“Shit, is there one?”
We paused like one of us was waiting on the others to come up with a white man who hadn’t ever fucked up his position in the Black community and the silence was loud.
I had to scratch my head because nobody was coming to mind at all. “Shit, no I guess not. They got that one representative in all the world.”
“Got damn, we really can’t trust them, huh?” Billy saying that shit cracked me up because she’d had so much trouble accepting that she’d fallen for Jacoby. I knew it stemmed from how she’d been fetishized by a white boy back home, but Jacoby only wanted to worship the ground that woman walked on.
I tapped Tiana on her shoulder and motioned toward her bun because I was confident that we could get started now. “Eminem was okay until he lost his mind and started fucking with his face and shit. Him and thePeople’s Champabout the same age. Mr. 8 mile done had all that surgeryallegedlyand Mr. Grillz still looks good.”
Tiana snapped her fingers appreciatively with a grin on her face. “Black wife effect.”
“Chile, the way he be looking at her in them videos? I just be waiting on them to throw out another baby announcement.” I high-fived her before she turned around so I could take down her bun.
“For a second there, I thought you were gonna say you knew he had a little dick.” She laughed in a way that let me know that Parker was absolutely knocking her walls down.
“Oh, no ma’am. Skin color doesn’t determine a damn thing. I was the main one rooting on White Chocolate for my good sis Billy over there. At least before we knew he was really chocolate. Just of the milk variety. So, we not gone discriminate. Can’t be out here taking part in…what that fool call it Bills?”
She chuckled and I didn’t miss the way she blushed. Nasty ass was probably thinking about Paul now that we’d bought him up. “Dickism.”
I snapped my finger at her grinning. “That’s it.Dickism. If he got a bat let him swing it. I’ve seen enough porn to know some favor ain’t fair. He got a good stroke and he’s a billionaire? Some ancestor is out there praying for him. Must’ve been a Freedom Rider in a past life because he is clearly winning in this one.” I was running my fingers through her scalp and I could feel her body relax as I began to analyze her hair.
“I’m still waiting to wake up.”
Billy looked at me puzzled, before she turned to Tiana. “Wake up?”
Tiana nodded as she kept her eyes closed. “From this dream. How am I here? It seems surreal to be here. Dating this man. For me to love this man the way I do. You couldn’t have told me I wasn’t going to have chocolate babies. And now I’m over here turned out by a white boy.” She wailed that last part out but I was sure she wasn’t regretting any of it one bit.
Billy laughed and I had to join her because she was absolutely doing this same song and dance almost five years ago and nowher ass had four kids. “Some of us have been there before with the same confusion.”
“Girl, we love that for you. It’s about time some of their wealth transferred back into our neighborhood. Normally it’s flowing the opposite way.” I was more than happy to see some of that ownership NFL money flowing back into a Black bloodline.
“Shit, don’t even get me started on that. Have you heard about the family that’s suing the wife over her dead husband’s estate?” Tiana looked so disgusted and when Billy started to nod I knew I was going to get some aspect of the tea I hadn’t read about.
“You talking about the Devereaux thing?” I felt her nod as I continued to study the strands of her hair. “That’s some crazy rich people shit.”
