“I just mean… If I can, I’m sure others can too. There are probably a lot of people like me.”
“There’s no one like you, Evie.”
Those words caused a rush of strange longing to flow through her body. A warm, forgotten feeling. She turned away, hugging herself.
“There are other Seraphics.” Evie’s hand went to her ribs, touching her tattoo through her clothes. “The Night Queen of the South-West has one, and I heard the King of Italy has a few.”
“That’s not what I meant.” Natalya put a hand on hers. “It took bravery to leave Varro, especially with how afraid you were. I admire you for doing that.”
“You shouldn’t. I almost took you to him.” Evie was still ashamed about that. She’d intended to go to the nightrooms and tell Varro everything. “I fought you in the car. I tried to go back.”
“But you didn’t. You left, with me. And when we got here, and you were given your freedom, you made it your own. You found work. You found friends. Those things aren’t easy. They take strength to do.”
The words, combined with Natalya’s hand still resting on Evie’s, summoned another forgotten feeling. Pleasant fluttering in her stomach. It was only made more insistent from Natalya’s touch spreading tingling warmth through her arm.
“I’m glad you found me,” Evie said quietly. “Even though you scared me at first.”
As they continued to look at each other in silence, Evie cleared her throat.
“And I’m sure there’s someone out there for you.”
“I have yet to find anyone I can be with. That Iwantto be with. It’s not a simple thing for me.”
Natalya sounded dejected and she leaned away from Evie, ending the touch and the wonderful warmth. She seemed lost in memory. It made it a little easier to let out the thoughts that had loomed in the back of Evie’s mind ever since that night in the kitchen. Thoughts that made her toss and turn and horriblywonder.
“But you do feel attraction.” Evie’s heart started pounding against her ribs when Natalya turned to her again. “Or at least you… youcould.”
Natalya narrowed her eyes slightly, looking at her with keen interest. And something deeper Evie wasn’t sure how to identify.
“I can. And I do.”
Her words were followed by silence. Heavy, loaded, electric silence. It was like it held the thousands of sparks Natalya could produce with a simple touch.
“What are you asking?” Natalya said.
Evie’s breath had turned shaky. She was scared of this, she realized. Desire had been connected to pain and fear for so long that it was difficult to separate it. But shewantedto. She wanted to reach over and touch Natalya. She wanted Natalya to touch her. And not in the soothing way she had done so many times before.
“I think you know.”
“Evie, listen to me.” Natalya took her hand again. There was no sensation other than the warmth of her skin. “I don’t want you to think you need to repay me for staying here. Especially not in that way.”
“No, that’s not why. I just…”
There was tension all through Evie’s body, preparing her for coldness and pain. It was overcome by the warmth of Natalya’s hand. By the many times Evie had caught herself looking at Natalya and wondering, silently, how it would feel to touch her like a lover would. How it would feel to have Natalya do the same to her.
“Do you remember what you told me in your office? About the next time I kissed someone, it should be because I wanted to.”
“You’re scared.”
“I am. But I’m not scared of you.”
Natalya stayed quiet, and the silence was awful. Embarrassing and humiliating. Evie was inviting nothing but painful rejection with what she was saying.
Why would Natalya even consider this? Gorgeous and powerful as she was, she could have anyone. And here Evie was, broken and messed up and covered in scars, asking tokissher.It seemed both so pathetically small and overwhelmingly huge at the same time.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Natalya said then.
More silence. A longer one. Tenser and filled with anticipation. Maybe Evie was telling herself it was like that. Maybe she was imagining things.
