“It sounds like you did have someone then.” Natalya straightened slightly. “Who’s Amanda Forrester?”
Evie flinched at the name. She hadn’t heard it said aloud except through a phone speaker. She’d recorded the voicemail and played the audio almost every day. Just to hear Amanda’s voice.
“She’s no one,” Evie said.
Natalya’s stern eyes stopped her from continuing the ruse. There was no point.
“She was my girlfriend back in New Orleans. She’s…” Evie hesitated on the word, then forced it out. “She’s dead.”
The sudden gentleness in Natalya’s eyes almost made Evie cry.
“I’m sorry.”
Evie shook her head. Not in denial, but to combat the sob fighting its way up her throat.
“Did you love her?” Natalya asked.
“Yes.” Evie’s voice was a little uneven. The words were coming easier now. “She made you feel like you belonged. She said I had hard eyes for everyone but her. Like I thought the world was dangerous, and it was out to get me.” Evie scoffed, and it came out sounding like a sniffle. “Turns out it was.”
“She sounds splendid.”
That was just the word for her. Amanda hadn’t been perfect. She was a passionate hothead with no organizational skills and no concern for the future. But she had been splendid. A light in Evie’s grim, emotionally deadened world.
“Stefano killed her,” Evie said quietly. “He was the one who procured me for Varro. The first one to…”
She balled her hands into fists. The memory was like a dagger in the chest rather than a needle. Hard, cold, and painful.
When she stayed silent, Natalya took her hand in hers. She ran her thumb gently over Evie’s skin. A soothing gesture that made the pain feel less heavy. Like she didn’t have to hold it all on her own.
“You are a very brave woman, Evie,” Natalya said. “Thank you for telling me.”
Chapter 14
It was just as Evie predicted. The words were out, the first domino had fallen, and now she couldn’t stop.
She told Natalya of when Stefano approached her at the Love Light. Of how she’d woken up in her chamber cell at Varro’s estate, weak and with blood running down her neck. Of how terrified she’d been of Natalya the first time she saw her, and then in the car and the office too. When Evie kept clutching her hand, Natalya moved them over to sit on the couch rather than stay at the dining table.
Evie didn’t share any specifics about her time at Varro’s. It hurt too much to talk about. She mainly talked about her life before, and then Natalya wanted to know everything. They talked for hours, long past midnight.
When Evie asked questions in return, Natalya was reluctant to talk about the time before she settled in Chicago. A darkness came over her then, making it clear it was a time better left alone. Though one topic gnawed at the back of Evie’s mind.
“Did you ever have someone? Like I had Amanda?” she asked after several hours of conversation.
“In a way,” Natalya said dismissively. “The first human who summoned me. I haven’t had someone like that since.”
“Not Aleksander?”
“I’m closer to Aleksander than anyone, but no. The Sin I was made for is Lust. My purpose in this world is to bring pleasure to the humans who would summon me. Even without being bound, that infernal purpose remains.”
Natalya looked away, face hard. “It’s a cruel trick, really. I’m unbound, but unbound to do what? Unless I remain in perfect control, humans can’t touch me without suffering pain or death. Supernaturals are resistant, but I can’t bond with them. They may as well be made of stone for all the good it does me. I was made to want what I can’t have.”
Evie was quiet at that. She bit her lip, wondering if she should say what she was thinking.
“Something’s on your mind,” Natalya said, having noticed her hesitance. Evie took a deep breath before finding enough courage to speak.
“I’ve touched you. And I wasn’t hurt. Even when you weren’t ready for it.”
When Natalya didn’t say anything, Evie quickly looked away from her.
