“I can’t choose between you and the club, Ives, just like I wouldn’t expect you to choose between me and your dreams,” I murmur, gently rubbing my thumb over her wet cheeks.
“I need to go,” she whispers, and I tense but knowing she needs space, I nod and stand out of her way, fisting my hands to stop myself from grabbing her as she stands.
She walks past me as she wipes her cheeks, and I plead, “Ivy, I don’t want to lose my best friend.”
“I just need time,” she whispers back without looking at me before walking out of my room. After a few minutes, I hear the front door shut, and my breathing picks up.
“Please, more,” she begs, and I chuckle before latching onto her clit, sucking it hard in pulses.
I shake my head and squeeze my eyes tight.
“Fuck Ives,” I gasp, and I push her legs above her head and thrust harder into her tight wet heat loving the tightness before smashing my lips against hers, shoving my tongue into her mouth.
Fuck, fuck, fuck….
I shake my head and look around my room. The sheets are messed up, and Ivy’s dark blue French panties lay on my floor, torn, and the anger takes over as her sweet gasps echo in my ears.
Fuck.
I roar out and spin before my foot connects with my chest of drawers, wood splintering before I crouch down, grabbing my hair with frustration as my eyes tear up.
I fucking lost her.
“There you are, son,” my dad says as he takes a seat beside me. I don’t acknowledge him. Instead, I stare at the full glass of scotch that I haven’t looked away from for the past hour I’ve sat at Dark’s Bar that Viper runs.
I feel like a fucking dick, like I’ve just ruined my chance at happiness.
I feel like I’ve just torn my heart into fucking pieces.
“Son?” Dad questions again as Cain places something, most likely a beer, before him and states, “He’s been like that since he arrived an hour ago and ordered that drink, not saying a word, I was about to call the Pres.”
I can feel my dad’s concerned eyes on me, and he whispers, “Talk to me,” and I mutter, “I slept with Ivy.” Not able to mutter anything else because what else is there to say, I’ve just lost my best friend, and I’ll most likely lose Venom when he realizes I slept with his sister, claimed my love, then stated we can’t be together even if it is for her own good.
“Fuck,” he curses before there’s some rustling and he says, “Jess, don’t hang up, it’s about Jax,” he’s quiet for a moment then adds, “He slept with Ivy…”
Dad mumbles something else, but I zone out.
She hates me, I fucking know it because I hate me.
If I could hand in my cut and go with her, I would, but the club, I owe my life to it. They are the reason why I’ve not ended up in fucking jail, why I can keep control of my anger issues, they’re my family, fuck they’re her family but she wants more out of this life, and I know it isn’t me at least not right now anyhow.
I don’t know how long I sit here, staring at my glass, before I feel a gentle hand on my back and I finally break contact with it and look to my left, only to lock eyes with my mama, her blue eyes looking at me with concern.
“I thought Marie needed you back in Paris?” I mutter, vaguely remembering the message from Mama yesterday that Marie is struggling with childcare since she left.
Mama shrugs and says, “I was halfway to the airport when your father called. You need me more right now. Marie has a husband who can watch Domie.”
I swallow hard as my eyes race between hers and I admit, “I fucked up, Mama…”
She cups my cheek as her eyes tear, rasping, “No, baby, you didn’t fuck up. You finally gave into your feelings.”
“And in doing that, I’ve lost my best friend,” I whisper before I feel a strong hand clamp on my shoulder, and my dad says, “You haven’t lost her son, she loves you.”
I sniff hard, “But she doesn’t love the club or how the brothers treat their women.” I side-eye him to see him flinch and I remind them, “She plans on going to New York,” my eyes tear, “Before I had a chance to at least stay in contact with her, but now…”
I allow my words to trail off, and I turn back to my drink, causing Mama to drop her hand as I drop my head.
I fucking lost her.
