Ade looked at the floor, not proud of her inability to abstain for just a single evening. “That’s a lot harder than I thought it’d be.”
“Oh, yeah?” Sylvie swayed her hips on the way inside. “Lucky I was in. I have a packed social calendar.”
“You do?” Ade hovered. Should she leave Sylvie to it?
“No.” Sylvie turned and put her arms around Ade, pulling her into a long kiss. “I’m kidding. The truth is I’ve been pining for you and trying to distract myself with polishing furniture.”
The chemical smell made Ade’s eyes sting. “It’s kinda strong.”
“Is it? I haven’t sprayed it in the bedroom.” Sylvie took her hand and led the way.
Ade willingly followed, aching for Sylvie’s mouth against hers again. But she also wanted to talk. Steph’s words twisted like a corkscrew inside her head. She perched on the edge of Sylvie’s bed, kicked off her shoes and pulled off her heavy winter coat. “Can we talk first?”
Sylvie kneeled on the bed behind Ade and slipped her arms around Ade’s torso. “Of course. What’s on your mind?”
“Stephanie.” Ade swiveled onto the bed to face Sylvie and took her hands.
“You want to talk about your sister right now?” Sylvie smirked. “You never fail to surprise me. Just when I think you’re the most consistent person in my whole world.”
“I’ve just been with Steph, and I was asking her about…” Ade stumbled on the right words. Could she admit the strength of her feelings to Sylvie without her running from them?
“You can tell me.” Sylvie stroked the back of her hand, leaving a warm trail.
“I was asking about how you know when you feel something for someone.”
An understanding silence hung in the few inches between them.
“What are you feeling?” Sylvie asked.
“I can’t put the rights words together,” said Ade. “But it’s unfamiliar. I haven’t felt it before. Steph said it’s like an addiction.”
“I get that. I couldn’t give you up right now.”
“Really? Me too.” Ade released the air from her lungs and the tightness from her body with a long breath. “What does it mean?”
“I don’t know. This is a first for me too.” Sylvie folded her arms. “I know you think I’m the older and wiser one here, but the reality is I’ve never allowed myself to get close enough to someone to feel this way about them.”
Ade followed the lines of stitching on the bedspread, grappling with her feelings like they were a math problem that could be solved. “It’s new for both of us?”
“I guess so.” Sylvie caressed Ade’s cheek. “We might need to work it out together. What are you thinking right now?”
“I want to kiss you so bad. Like all the time.” Ade grinned. “I want to wake up with you. I want to walk into campus with you. I neverwant to be away from you.” Out loud, all that sounded crazy. But it was the truth.
Sylvie looked away. “What about the summer when you have to go home? The odds are stacked against us.”
“What do you mean?” Ade asked.
“We live on different continents. The clock is ticking on your time here.”
“You could come home with me.”
A raspy, almost bitter laugh escaped from Sylvie. “That’s exactly my point. You live your life exactly as you should: you’re young, and life is about you.”
“You’re young too.” Ade put her finger to Sylvie’s lips, wanting to hush any more barriers.
“I’m closing in on forty, and my career is here. In many ways, we’re on different tracks, and we have to think about the future.”
“But I want you.” Ade cupped her cheek. “I want you now. I don’t know about the future, but what’s in this moment matters to me.”
