Steph’s mouth hung open. It was a rare moment that her sister was lost for words.
“I need a real drink for this, Ade. Hang on.” She turned as Dermot set down the pint of Guinness on a flimsy coaster, then she lifted the glass to her lips and gulped four times. “What the fuck is happening with you?”
“What do you mean, happening?” Ade scratched her head. “I just asked you a question, and you haven’t answered it.”
Steph leaned back, smiling. “Okay. Romantic love?” She picked at the cardboard coaster. “I’m no expert. I’ve only really had one serious, and seriously flawed, relationship. But I can tell you how I felt.”
“I’d be grateful.” Ade nodded.
“Initially, pretty intoxicating. Like I was addicted to her. I had a thirst that I just couldn’t quench.”
Ade nodded. “Yes. That’s it.”
“That’s not it.” Steph touched her hand across the table. “That’s desire and attraction; it’s not love.”
“Why are you telling me what isn’t love? You’re not answeringthe question.”
“I’m sorry, I was getting to it.” Steph held her hands up. “Love is…wanting to be with someone so much that you think you might fade away without them. When you’re not with them, youdofade a little. Then they walk into the room, and your whole body and mind is turned on like a light switch.”
“Is it like you didn’t know you had something inside you, like a treasure chest? And when you see that person, it’s like they’re the only one with the key? No one else could have unlocked it.” Ade wasn’t good with metaphors, but that was the best she could do.
“Is that how you feel?” Steph asked, taking another gulp of her drink.
“Maybe. I’m trying to put it into words, but the concepts are tricky.” Ade spun her ring. “Is it like finally being understood without having to say anything?”
“Yeah. I think it might be.” Steph rubbed her eye.
“Are you crying?”
“No, you idiot.” She giggled. “Is it that serious between you and Sylvie? Aren’t you just hanging out?”
Ade laced her fingers together. “We have been hanging out. But the more we hang, the harder it gets to leave.”
“Have you told her any of this?” Steph asked.
“With my words? No.” Ade was pretty certain that her body had communicated all of it, and more.
“What has she said?”
Everything. She’d said everything and nothing. “I can’t work it out. When we’re together, it’s amazing. But we haven’t talked about how we’re feeling. Not really.”
“So it could be casual for her?”
Ade flinched. “I really hope not.”
“What’s her story? Is she a serial monogamist or a casual fling kinda gal?”
Ade didn’t know. How did she not know? Doubt sprouted in her mind, growing rapid, tangling roots. “Do you think I’m just acasual hook-up for her?”
Steph blew out her cheeks. “I don’t know Sylvie all that well. She’s much older than you, and she lives here. I mean, what could a future look like? It’s not like she’s going to come back to Monterey and live in the annex with us, is it?”
“Fuck.” Ade hadn’t thought the logistics through.
“Sounds like you have some talking to do with your new gal pal.” Steph swirled the diminishing black liquid in her glass. “Hey,” she reached for Ade’s hand, “I like Sylvie. I think she’s special too.”
They were joined by two more of Steph’s new bar friends. Ade wondered at how her sister could collect acquaintances like ticket stubs, accumulating several for each city she visited. When the crowd and the decibels increased, Ade made her excuses and headed back to the apartment. At the Place St Roch, her feet took her toward Sylvie’s apartment. She buzzed the intercom, desperate for Sylvie to be in so she could satisfy her latest craving.
Sylvie waited at the entrance, her hip cocked, a wide smile, and her hair tumbling out of place. “I thought we were having a night off?”
