Even in sleep I felt him.
I could smell him.
Hear his whispered words and feel his hands delicately brushing the hair from my face. I leant into him, unwilling to surface and realise this was a dream. Unwilling to let go and wake with the pain which had sat leaden in my stomach the last few days. I knew itwas dark, and it was probably time to get up and cook dinner, but the sounds of movement out in the kitchen told me Blake was likely already on top of things. Again.
“Hey,” the whispered greeting against my lips, when I was so close to the surface, pulled me from my sleepy haze and I opened my eyes, now certain I was dreaming.
Corbin sat on the bed beside me. His scent wrapped around me, masculine and raw, and his hand continued to brush across my forehead tenderly. Yet I still didn’t speak. Terrified I would say something, and he would disappear. That I would wake up and miss out on this moment with him.
If I could only see him in my dreams, I wanted to sleep forever.
I felt my brows furrow as I mapped the green of his eyes. The freshly shaven skin and the beanie he still wore as if he only just came in from outside. Before I could speak, he pressed a soft kiss to my mouth, my cheeks and down my jaw.
“I missed you,” he said, inhaling deeply in the crook of my neck. “I missed this smell. And the soft taste of your mouth,” his words were muffled, broken between kisses and some part of me knew this was real, only I was still scared to move.
“I missed waking up with my face between your legs. I missed watching you ride me, the feel of your body against mine. I missed your laugh and your unpredictability. I missed your spontaneity and the way being around you makes me feel like a mixture ofWisteriaandTickle Me Pink,” I smiled, breathing in quickly as fresh tears formed. “But mostly, I missed the way I felt when I was with you. LikeCerulean Frost.”
I gasped, my hand flying up to cover my mouth. “Cerulean Frostis your favourite.” I whispered, the first words I’d spoken to him, my voice raspy from sleep.
“I don’t know what this means,” he waved the familiar blue diary in the air. The same diary which had belonged to my mother and was now filled with memories of my own. Memories we shared. “Idon’t know how this works or what next week or next month looks like, but I do know being with you makes me feel all of the colours I never thought I would feel.” He shrugged, taking a deep breath and I watched it leave his mouth before he looked me dead in the eye.
“I’m in love with you, Shelby. I have been since we were twelve and you boarded that flight to come here. A country I spent my life hating because it kept us apart. I loved you even earlier actually, when you engraved our initials in the tree, and when you pushed through every wall I have ever created and showed me exactly what it is to be touched by someone you love. I loved you when we got our matching tattoos, despite knowing Mum was going to slap me across the back of the head for inking my skin. And I loved you when you took me around The Valley as if you needed me to see and experience everything you’ve ever known. If I go back to Australia, I’ll still love you, because it doesn’t matter what country we’re in or which continent we live, we are a lifelong love affair, Canada. In this life.”
I had no words. Nothing which could ever afford the same sentiment he had given me.
Pushing myself up, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him down on me, kissing him with renewed passion and everything I didn’t say. Savouring the feel of his weight on top of me, the press of his tongue against my own. I kissed him with the devotion which comes after a lifetime of stolen glances, tender touches and shared memories. The fervour which can only exist after you’ve known each other since you were born and always felt destined to wind up in this very moment at this exact time.
“You saidifyou go back. What does that mean?” I asked tentatively, moving so I was kneeling in front of him, my hands still on his shoulders.
“I called my boss in the car on the way here and asked him what he thought about Canada for the new office. He said he would investigate it,” he grinned.
“What?” My eyes darted rapidly between his and he nodded.
“I also told him if we couldn’t have it here, I was taking indefinite leave.”
“How much longer?” I coaxed, my fingers curling in and pressing into my palms.
“Forevermore?” He smirked, bracing just in time to catch me as I koala’d him in a full body hug, pushing him back onto the bed.
“Forevermore,” I repeated into his neck, squeezing him until he confessed he couldn’t breathe and I reluctantly loosened my grip.
“I’m sorry I didn’t say it back to you.” I finally admitted as he wiped a tear from my cheek. “After Mum passed, I was broken. The only time I felt even remotely normal was when I was doing something for Blake or when I spoke to you. I promised myself I would never tell anyone else I loved them, in case I lost them too. It was easier to pretend I didn’t love you but that was stupid. Because I do.” I grasped for his forearms, my finger tracing our initials. “I loved you then,” I said, looking down at the letters. “And I love you now.”
My admission caused the nauseous chaos in my chest to still, my heartbeat starting over in a renewed choreography with his. It was always him. Always and all ways. “And if they don’t want you to stay here, I will follow you wherever you need to be, Corbin, because that’s what you do. You follow love. If I realised anything over the last few days, it’s that I wouldn’t even be living without you.”
He waited while I took a deep breath, ever patient, always mindful of my needs.
“I think I’m addicted to you,” I whispered. “I didn’t shower the whole time you were gone,” I confessed with horror, and he chuckled. “I’m not even joking. I would have been too dirty to even stay in that pub I booked us.” I nodded, my lips pressed thin as if I too couldn’t believe how gross I’d become so quickly.
He laughed, pulling me into him as he wrapped his hands in my hair and took my mouth against his, my perfect person in every way.
“Your brother and his mate are in the kitchen. That bloke has some serious ink by the way,” he said, referring to Cole whose arms were both covered in tattoos, and I nodded.
“But I need you,” he whispered against my mouth. “Think you can be quiet?”
I grinned, tilting my head towards the ensuite knowing I couldn’t, wouldn’t, now that he was here and hoping the fan and water acted as an audible barrier. Carrying me into the bathroom, we touched, tasted and devoured, as if we hadn’t been here just a few days ago. As if the emaciated feelings in my soul weren’t created from only a few days apart, but from how long it took us to realise this was where we should be. That it didn’t matter where he needed to go for work or if he would rather head back to Australia, you followed love, and I would do just that.
Shelby
