Obviously, I’ve touched a nerve with Blake as he fires back, “So you’ve spoken to Cassie?”
Shit, he does know me too well.
“Fair enough, you’ve made your point,” I mumble, bending to pick up my shoes.
But before we start to leave the beach, I turn to him and ask, “Are you okay?”
Blake, for as long as I’ve known him, has been good at hiding his feelings behind an easy-going, friendly mask. But as his best friend, I know what he has seen, what he has had to do, and no one coming out the other side of war can be as carefree as he appears. He doesn’t suffer the same issues as me as his head is wired differently, but he's not untouched. Over the years, I’ve seen the signs.
Now, as I claw my way back to normalcy and I can see beyond my own bubble, I need to know he's okay too.
Blake has put his shirt back on and is standing staring out to sea. “Yeah, man, I think I’m okay. I’m glad I flew down Friday to be with you and the guys. Like you, I needed to leave the city too.” He turns to me. “Thanks for asking.”
Nodding in acknowledgment, I offer, “Just remember I got your back, man, whenever you need it.”
“I know,” he responds gruffly as he picks up his gym bag, and we start walking back to the condo. For now, we have said all the important stuff needing to be said.
A little later, when I’m alone on my bed, I think about Blake’s comment about me speaking to Cassie. He was right to call me out.
Initially, I didn’t think about Cassie, I just needed to escape the city away from my PTSD fog. When her text arrived last Wednesday, I was still so messed up and I brushed her off. I’m ashamed of how I’ve treated her, she deserves better.
Fuck I'm an asshole. Just when Cassie was beginning to trust me again, I give her every reason not to trust me. I've screwed up badly and I need to fix it.
I’m not ready to talk to her yet as I don’t know how to explain my PTSD to her. I’ve mentioned it to her in the past, but the reality of my recent panic attack is much harder to talk about. I need to tell her about it all, as dating me involves a cargo hold full of baggage.
If Cassie and I are going to have a serious relationship, and I hope we are then Cassie will need to know everything. I hope I’m not too late as the last week I’ve been thinking only about me and not even considering Cassie or her feelings. Yet again, I've treated her badly and I owe her another apology.
Firstly, I need to get some balls and contact her to tell her where I am and why I’m here.
Chapter 26
Cassie
Mondayfirstthing,beforeI go into the office I want to make the call to Bec in private. I’ve still not heard from Luke apart from the one text message nearly a week ago.
Last night after arriving back home from my weekend visiting my family, I spoke to Lily and Jas to see what they thought I should do. I told them about Alice’s plan. They agreed with it as they couldn’t think of any other way to find out where Luke was and why he hasn’t called me.
None of it made any sense to them either. They also had some choice names for Luke and his treatment of me. My girls always have my back.
Dialing Bec’s work number, I think to myself Alice will be so proud I haven’t wasted any time, and I’m actioning the plan.
Bec answers in her usual efficient manner after a couple of rings. Well, so far, it all sounds like the office is running as normal, so Luke’s disappearance mustn’t be related to work.
“Hi Bec, this is Cassie… Luke’s friend, we met the other week.”
“Oh hi, Cassie, of course, I remember you. What can I do for you?”
I’m relieved to hear Bec sounding friendly. It’s a good start as I don’t want to seem like a crazy stalker lady.
“I was wondering if Luke is back in the office. I know he has been away, and I’m not sure when he's due back.”
I hate not being completely honest with Bec, but I figure this is the best way to find out where he is.
In a lowered voice, she replies, “Cassie, it’s a bit difficult to talk at the moment. Can we meet after work, maybe for a drink?” Now her reaction doesn’t sound normal at all.
I agree at once and name a time and place before I hang up.
What the hell is going on? I’m so confused by the conversation with Bec. I’m wondering if she couldn’t speak because Luke was there.
