“Loved me?” A bitter laugh breaks out. “Or wanted to keep me quiet, under your control?”
A realization punches me in the gut. His secrets. My secrets. I’m no better than him.
“I’m done lying,” I say, my pulse racing. “To you. To myself. To this marriage. I can’t do it anymore. I won’t.”
Jacob looks at me, and I know he sees it. The truth we’ve avoided for so long. The one that will either set us free or destroy everything.
His voice sharpens, almost frantic. “Don’t play games right now. What the hell are you talking about, Jenna?”
My heart pounds, every beat a brutal reminder that I’m about to destroy whatever we have left. I meet his gaze, the truth burning in my throat, clawing to get out.
“I’m having an affair.”
The words hang, choking the air from both of us. Jacob just stares, his face blank with utter disbelief. Then, in a voice I barely recognize, he whispers, “Fuck you, Jenna.”
The words sting like a fresh slap. He’s never sworn at me. Not once in all our years together. I deserve it, though.
His fists clench, voice trembling. “Dylan… you’ve been fucking Dylan? Haven’t you?” Each word cuts deeper. “Lying to me. For how long?”
I nod, my eyes thick with tears.
“How could you?” He shakes his head. “How fucking dare you?”
“Yes,” I say, self-loathing dripping from my voice. “I’m a horrible, shitty, fucking wife. Yes, I’ve been lying to you. Yes, I fell in love with another man. Yes, I’ve messed up and fucked up everything.”
My voice breaks, trembling under the heaviness of my own sins. “But are my lies worse than yours? My whole life has beena lie, Jacob. So maybe it’s only fitting our marriage was built on one too.”
Jacob’s control snaps. His eyes narrow, filled with something volatile.
“No, Jenna!” he screams. “Don’t you dare turn this around on me. I lied to protect you. I lied because I knew you wouldn’t survive the truth. I was sparing you from something that would break you! You lied to fuck someone else behind my back!”
Tears well in his eyes. He swipes at them trying to erase the pain, but they keep falling. “I fucking killed him to save you. And this is how you repay me?”
The words slam into me like a freight train and knock the air right out of my lungs.
I thought I wanted to see Jacob’s mask slip. To prove he could feel something. But standing here now—watching him fall apart—I can’t handle it. This isn’t the calm, collected man I married. And it terrifies me.
“You’re not God. You don’t know if I could’ve handled it,” I cry, the words tearing through me. “Every single time you watched me struggle in the middle of the night, unable to breathe, not knowing what the hell was happening to my mind. And you sat there and did nothing. For years, Jacob! Years!”
Jacob’s eyes fill with rage. “I can’t do this right now.”
“Of course, Jacob. Go on, run like you always do. Let’s sweep this under the rug for another ten years.” Bitterness coats my words as tears threaten to pour out of me. “I can’t change what happened. But we need to talk about this. Figure out what’s going to happen with us… and the girls.”
He turns to me, his voice defeated. “That’s it? You want to end our marriage? You want to tell the kids that our whole life is a lie? That you’re leaving me for… for what? Dylan?”
My stomach churns at the sound of his name, spat like venom.
“You’re telling me you would take me back? After everything I’ve done?”
Could we even survive this?
Jacob’s voice breaks into sobs, something I never thought I’d see. His entire body trembles. “I gave up everything for you. Everything,” he says as his face twists in anguish. “And you threw it away. You threw us away.”
“I didn’t throw us away. We both did,” I say, my voice certain. “You lied to me about Ryan, and I lied about everything else.”
Jacob’s eyes blaze. “Don’t you dare say I threw us away. You made the choice to sleep with him. You made the choice to destroy our family.”
“Yeah, I did!” I scream, guilt and anger tearing through me. “I fucked up. I know that. I hate myself for it. But don’t pretend you're innocent. Forgetting all the nights I begged you to let me in, to give me more. I’m not the only one in this marriage.”
