He sighs, his expression clouded with grief. “Drugs. Pills, maybe. It was fast.”
The words smash through the fragile walls I’ve spent years building. Memories erupt—his laughter, the endless fights, the manipulation, the empty apologies.
And Jacob… swooping in to save me. From what? Ryan? Myself?
I don’t remember saying goodbye. I don’t remember getting to my car or how the groceries ended up all over the pavement. Suddenly, I’m on the curb, rocking back and forth with my knees to my chest. The pain hitting in waves, each one more brutal than the last. I clutch myself tighter, tears blurring my vision.
And the world collapses around me—right here, in front of Trader Joe’s. My throat is raw. Probably from the screams I let out. All these years feeling cursed. I deserved every second. Mymind spins frantically, sobs ripping through me as I try to make sense of it.
God. What did I do? What did I do? Is this rock bottom?
Chapter 41: The Calm Before the Chaos
Jenna: September
The darkness feels endless… until a soft hand touches my shoulder.
“Dear, can I help you up?” The voice is warm, laced with concern. “Is there somewhere you need to be?”
I don’t lift my head. “In hell,” I whisper, because that’s where I should be. “Or maybe I’m already there.”
She kneels beside me. “I’ve been there too,” she murmurs, her hand resting on mine. “Not your hell, but my own.”
I finally glance at her. She’s an elderly woman, probably in her eighties, with kind eyes, white curls, and a cardigan that looks like it came before my time.
“I get it. You probably wish you could fast-forward through all the hard stuff,” she says, quietly scanning the groceriesspilled across the ground. “Maybe it even feels like your world’s been flipped upside down.”
I nod, unable to answer.
“But you’re still here,” she says, gathering the runaway cans. “That’s no small thing, sweetheart.”
She doesn’t offer empty advice. Doesn’t push.
“Life’s messy,” she adds, rising slowly. “Mean. Sometimes cruel beyond measure. But one day, when you’re an old lady like me, you might be surprised by how many beautiful moments you’ve lived through. Even in the middle of the worst ones.”
She helps me to my car. No questions. No judgment. Just presence—from a stranger the universe wanted me to meet.
Her words follow me home.You’re still here.
I am. But so is the storm waiting to break.
I burst through the door, my heart pounding out of my chest, and the shock choking me. Nausea rises as I slam the door shut. My entire world just shattered, and Jacob’s just sitting there on the couch, flipping through channels.
“I know Ryan’s dead,” I blurt out, my voice barely my own.
Jacob freezes as he slowly turns to face me. His gaze locks with mine, and for a second, I see it. Guilt. Quickly replaced by that expression he wears when he’s calculating his next move.
“What are you saying?” he asks slowly like I’m an animal he’s afraid to spook.
I take a step closer, my body trembling. “Don’t. Don’t you dare.” My voice wavers, but I force the words out. “You’ve been lying to me this whole time! About the nightmares. The memories. I killed him, didn’t I?” My breath shudders when I repeat. “Didn’t I, Jacob?”
Jacob’s face drains of color.
He sets the remote down carefully, rising to his feet. “You’re not thinking straight.” His voice is low, coaxing. “Calm down.”
“I remember,” I snap, pulse racing erratically. “The blood. His hands around my throat. The bird statue. I hit him.”
The pity in his eyes fuels my rage.
