“What the fuck?” Chardonnay and I said in unison. Maybe we made the realization at the same time. Why was he charging toward us like we’d done something to him? His eyes were stuck in a surprised state as he lay there, and for some reason, my eyes wouldn’t pull away from them.
“Sis, we need to go,” Chardonnay said as she pulled me up.
I was stuck on Joshua and even Armond couldn’t bring me comfort right then. I grabbed my purse and pulled out two hundred-dollar bills and threw them onto the table before I felt the nudge of my sister’s arm in my back. My body moved without my command and I was pushed into Chardonnay’s passenger seat.
“Brandy, wait,” Armond said as he crouched to look at me through the window. I really didn’t have any words for him. I was grateful yet again but that was someone I knew too well and he wouldn’t just show up and start shit for nothing.
“Are you alright, honeybee?”
I nodded but kept looking forward.
“Don’t shut me out, baby. Please?”
“I need time away from everything and everyone. I can’t explain why I feel a way right now, but I need a moment to process and figure it out.”
“Or we can figure it out together, Brandy. You do not have to live life alone. You don’t have to figure it out on your own. I’m here to help you deal with your battles with more support than you allow. I am soon to be your husband and I will always protect you physically, emotionally, and infinitely. Do you understand me?”
The assurance in his eyes brought me comfort. No one had ever stood behind me like this apart from my immediate familyand my girls. Having someone I could see forever with defend and love me so effortlessly touched my heart.
I wanted to love him beyond anything I could comprehend, give him what he was giving me. If Jeffrey was still around, I would never be able to have it without consequence. Maybe that was why Joshua had come around, because Jeffrey wasn’t.
How was I supposed to allow this beautiful man to love me when there was always a possibility of my past interfering with what we had going on? Armond shouldn’t have to kill a man to defend me because Jeffrey was doing whatever.
Having Jeffrey’s people come after me was not something either of us bargained for when we got together and I didn’t want to drag Armond along to fight my battles.
“I hear you, Armond.” I exhaled.
“But do you understand me?”
“Armond…”
“Answer me, Brandy.”
“Yes. I understand but that doesn’t mean I have to accept it. I’ll see you later. Come on, Chardonnay.”
I turned to my sister and she started the car without any rebuttal from Armond. I was grateful for that, no matter how much I hurt him with my words. I saw it in his eyes and refused to keep looking at him. It was time to go.
“What the hell was that, Brandy?” My sister scolded me as soon as she pulled out of the lot.
“Jeffrey,” I murmured. I sighed then focused on the road.
“I thought we moved past him.”
“We did. I mean, I thought.” I rolled my eyes.
There were plenty of times when Jeffrey disappeared and had zero communication with me. He would leave for days, sometimes weeks, then pop back up like he hadn’t gone anywhere at all. Like I wouldn’t be upset with his ass. We fought constantly over it and after a while I looked forward to himleaving. This was like any other time, so I thought nothing of it. Not thinking about Jeffrey had been a godsend.
“Sister, I’m so damn sorry. Who knows how bad that could’ve gotten without Armond popping up,” she said softly.
“Yeah. It’s cool though,” I mumbled with a shrug.
“No, the fuck it’s not. I’m definitely telling Arlando about this if Armond hasn’t already. We’re going to find that man and he’s going to die! I can’t live with you being harassed over this man. You left him a long time ago and you still gotta worry about someone showing up on his behalf? We’re handling it and I don’t care how you feel about it,” she said.
I didn’t have it in me to reply. I just let her words sit heavily in the air. I should’ve felt this way a long time ago. I could live with that disdain if I could live without having to wonder if it would be the day I die.
“I’m sorry, Dee Dee. I don’t want you to hate me. I just want you to be okay and live. Fully live,” she said as she grabbed my free hand.
She squeezed it lightly and I returned the gesture. I loved Nay and would never resent her for doing what she felt was best for me or our family. She was always thoughtful and considerate of everyone, so I needed to trust that.
