“That's not true.”
“It is,” I screamed, throwing my arms up. Tears bloomed quickly. “You have treated me terribly. Because I was a human, you thought I was less! But I'm still a person. I still have emotions and dreams. But none of that matters because you judged me because I'm not a shifter. You are no better than them. So don't act like you're on my side because you’re not.”
Frank curled his hands up slightly. “I am in your corner, Nin.”
“That’s not true.,” I whispered. “You slept with me and then kicked me out of bed. You can hardly look at me now. What does that tell me? It tells me what Justin said was true.”
“That's not true!” he snapped, his eyes coming back to me. I could see anger in his eyes mixed with frustration. “I did not use you like that!”
“Isn't it?” I asked. “You said I looked nice tonight. You've hardly said anything to me since we slept together. We don't even share the same bed anymore. You avoid me at all costs. So, how is this any different from Jay's pack? Because I had more freedom there than I do here. The only place that's mine and that I feel welcome in is here. In this greenhouse, which I had to fight for because, once again, it's not entirely mine.”
Tears fell, and I quickly wiped them away. “You kept thinking you're better and that you treat me well, but you don't. You give me just enough to feel something, and then you rip it away.”
I hated that I felt so open and wounded. I hated thinking of everything. I hated that I wanted out, but I could never escape. I had such high hopes when I came here, and I had been wrong.
Frank's shoulder dropped. “Nina, please open the door. Let me help. I want to help.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. If he came near me, I knew I would only cry harder.
He ran his hands through his hair, and for once, I could see the hurt in his eyes. I didn't understand it.
“Nina, I want to fix this. Please open the door. Let me try to fix this. Let me hold you and explain.”
He couldn't. No one could fix the past. It was a hard pill I had to swallow, and it only brought more tears. All that pain seemed to be bottled up, and I turned away, feeling a sob taking over.
Because, in truth, I had wished so many times that I was different. I wish that I were a shifter and that I could change everything. But it was only wishful thinking. I woke up every morning and forced a smile on my face while slowly dying inside. This trip was like a lifeline that I had desperately needed, and even that had been a trick. I was still a sinking ship.
Nothing I did was good enough, and I would never be enough.
I heard the door open, and I stiffened. I looked over my shoulder as Frank stood hovering over me. He bent down, and I felt his arms wrap around me.
Chapter 18 - Frank
I stared at Nina through the glass, hating how she crumbled over into herself. Her shoulder shook as she cried, and I felt like the biggest ass in the world. She was my wife, and I knew I had added to her pain. All this time, she'd been acting brave, putting up a front when inside she was hurting.
She had lived a difficult life, and instead of understanding that and noticing all the signs, I'd just added more problems on top.
I turned the knob hard, knowing I was going to break it. I didn't care. I heard the knob click as it snapped, and I pulled the door open. I stepped into the greenhouse, the space that felt more like Nina's than anywhere else.
I had told her that my mother used the space before, but it was never like this. It wasn't the same space as it was before.
She had poured her heart into this space and decorated it with plants and furniture that I guessed were from her old place. She had pictures hung and had some sitting on glass tables. You couldn't help but just relax when you stepped into the space.
I walked towards Nina, and she looked at me. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and her eyes were bloodshot. She looked so broken.
I bent down, pulled her into my arms, and held her close. She sobbed, her entire body shaking as I held her. I was so angry, but I was to blame, just like everyone else. I hadn't made her life better, and I should have. If I had just told her how I felt instead of putting distance between us, maybe we shouldn’t be here.
“I'm sorry,” I whispered softly into her ear, tightening my hold on her. “You're right. I didn't treat you right. I should have.”
She sniffled, wiping at her face. I rested my head on her head, looking around her space. I looked at a photo of Nina with Katie and Sam. They were out in the woods. Katie was wearing her usual odd outfits while the girls were wearing dresses. Nina was beaming with happiness. You could see the shine in her eyes, and I hated how I hadn't seen it. That shine.
“I don't trust humans. I've never been good at it since everything happened. And I know that's not a good excuse for my actions, but it's the truth. I’m not a soft person, and I’m not good at talking about emotions or opening up to people.”
I thought back to how my father behaved after everything and how I had changed. I followed so closely after him. I watched, and I learned not to trust humans because they would all turn on us somehow.
The only humans I'd slightly trusted were Sam and Katie. Mostly because Jay and Henrik were so adamant about it, and they helped. They weren't just humans doing nothing.
Nina tried to pull away, but I tightened my hold on her. “Just give me a moment,” I said softly, trying to think of words to say. She deserved to know everything.
