“Nothing. What color do you want? Pink or purple?” She holds up two bottles of nail polish.
“Ah… pink?”Guess I’m doing this.
“Hands.” Jazzy taps the table, and I lay my palms out flat in front of her.
I watch silently for a moment. I still haven’t been able to get her to talk about her mom at all. I found out the woman’s name, though. Penelope Eve Morrison, according to school records. She’s twenty-five, which means she was only seventeen or eighteen when I was with her. I haven’t been with a woman that young since I wasthat youngmyself. I can’t for the life of me remember her. And I also can’t fucking find her.
“What did you want to talk about?” Jazzy asks.
“I have to do something today, and I wanted to tell you about it.”
“What do you need to do?”
“I have to get married,” I explain, watching for her reaction.
“A real wedding?”
“Yep, a real wedding,” I say.
“Who are you marrying?” she questions.
“Her name is Antonia,” I reply.
“Do you love her?”
I consider my answer. “Very much,” I say honestly, because I won’t ever lie to my daughter.
“More than me? Am I going to have to leave?”
“No, you are never leaving, Jazzy. This is your home. It will always be your home. And I promise I will never love anyone more than I love you. You’ll always be my number one girl,” I tell her.
“Really? What if you have other children with Antonia? That’s what married people do,” she says.
“You’ll still be my number one,” I promise her. “You and me, we are in this together. If it bothers you that much, I can tell everyone I can’t do it.”
“But you love her.”
“I do, but I love you more.”
“Can I come? I’ve never been to a wedding before,” Jazzy asks. “I’ll be quiet. You won’t even know I’m there.”
“Are you kidding me? You’re my guest of honor. I don’t need you to be quiet. Ever. I do need you to sit with Uncle Louie and Aunt Charlotte, though,” I reply.
“Okay.”
“And there’s one more thing: Antonia doesn’t know that you’re my daughter yet, and I want it to be a surprise. We’ll tell her later, when we get home after the party,” I explain.
“Okay, I won’t say anything.”
“Thank you.” I dip my chin towards the table. “Now, you can’t leave me with just one pink nail.”
Jasmine giggles. “That would be bad on your wedding day.”
Standing at the altar, I smile at my daughter, who is sitting in the front row next to Charlotte and Emmanuel. Louie and Sammie are positioned next to me. I wasn’t expecting Emmanuel to be back stateside. He turned up a few minutes ago. I introduced him to Jazzy and asked him to sit with her.
There are few people I trust around my daughter. But Emmanuel? He’d take a bullet for her, despite what Louie might think. Paranoid fucker doesn’t trust anyone. Not even us sometimes.
“You know we can handle it if you want to back out,” Louie says under his breath.
