3
Kat
With a relieved sigh, I drop my bag of crap I need for classes and my books on the floor next to my classroom chair. My shoulders gradually start to relax as I take a sip of my coffee and thank the heavens I didn’t run into that jerk again as I saw him outside the café across the street. I ran into the coffee shop like my butt was on fire, and didn’t come out until I had my coffee and made sure he wasn’t around. I was so worried for a few minutes that I thought I would be there all day and miss class, but small miracles happen and I got out just in time to run across campus. Looking around, I notice I’m pretty early because only a few seats are filled with eager freshman students. Shaking my head, I wish someone would have told me to not appear too eager on your first day back when I first started college. The professor for this class is very passionate, loud, and she will single-handedly pick on you just to bring you down a peg if you're not paying attention. Beware, Miss Barnet—bitter and cranky, with a dash of hot mess. This is my fourth and final year, just a few more classes and I’m a free bird. Graduating with a degree in business management isn’t the most exciting thing, but making a living out of figure skating is just an Olympic-sized dream too far away to reach.
The rows of seats start to fill up and voices echo off the walls as more students file in, along with Miss Barnet. She doesn’t even wait for class to officially start before she begins the lecture. I can already tell we’re going to have homework, and I’m completely fine with that, since I’ll be at the library instead of going home tonight. Maybe I can crash at Mary’s dorm tonight, if she doesn’t have another guy over. I really do feel bad for her roommate, although, I would trade places with her in a heartbeat just to get away from my father.
Mary is my best friend who lived next door as we grew up. She was there before my mom passed away, but afterwards, we drifted apart when the abuse started, and I didn’t really see her again until college started. She didn’t know about it, no one did until freshman year, when I tasted a small amount of freedom and told her everything. I closed everyone off to crawl into a dark hole that I’m still trying to fight my way through to find the light. There has to be a happy ending for everything, I just haven’t found mine yet.
Those are some depressing thoughts, so I try to focus on the professor’s boring voice, as she drones on and on about nonsense that’s on the syllabus. I start doodling on the open notepad on my desk, and thoughts from earlier overcome me. I daydream about the stupid, grumpy jock. I wonder what crawled up his ass and laid tiny angry eggs? It’s always the insanely hot men who turn into ass hats because they know that their gorgeous good looks can turn women into bumbling dumb hoes. Not this one, no way. I’m not affected at all by him or wondering if I will see him again. I don’t have an exciting shiver travel down my spine at the thought of touching his sharp jawline and feeling the tingles of his five o clock beard scraping my fingers. My fingers flex as I imagine the feeling, and I have to mentally slap myself as I tuck my hands under my butt so they stop having a mind of their own. Oh, sweet mother of God, I don’t want to think about that brooding, grumpy, hot ass that I could bounce quarters off—wait, not his muscular ass. He’s an asshole jock.
There’s already enough on my plate. I have to keep my grades up because if I fail, I’ll be crawling back to daddy dearest when they take my scholarship away… I’d rather choke to death on a bag of dicks. I was lucky enough to talk him into letting me go to college when I graduated high school early, I just have to live in his house while getting free schooling. I can’t get a job because Father has threatened a million times to take away the small inheritance I do have if I even think of getting a minimum wage job. He always has something up his sleeve. The only thing he’s pushing right now is for me to finish college, but I’m scared where that will leave me once I do. He’s a powerful man who knows people and controls my every move. I’m freaking twenty-one years old, and yet he still has a say in my life. Where would I go? How would I hire a lawyer to get my money when he controls it all? I just want to leave this state for good, but until then, I’m still stuck at my father’s until graduation day. If he even lets me go.
A prickling sensation of someone staring at me runs along the back of my neck and pulls me out of my musing thoughts. Turning my head slightly to the right, I try to shake off the heebie jeebies of Jeff Gold staring at me with unblinking eyes. My creep alert is ringing, urging me to break eye contact before he gets any ideas. Jeff has been trying to get into my pants since sophomore year, and he has a hard time with the word fuck off. I’ve managed to dodge him pretty well, and he left me alone most of my junior year because whatever sports team he’s on kept him pretty busy. Plus, he was seeing some red-haired chick who was cheating on her boyfriend with him, or so the rumor went. It looks like I’m back on his radar, lucky me. I turn my attention back to the front to watch Miss Barnet try really hard to look threatening by pacing around with her ruler slapping her hand. Trying to ignore the gaze I feel drilling a hole into the back of my head, I will the clock to go faster.
“You are dismissed for the day. I want a one-thousand-word essay turned in by Monday at exactly at eight AM sharp,” she announces like a drill sergeant and waves her hand, telling us to get out of her class.
Groans fill up the classroom as I gather my books and shoot out of my chair like my butt is on fire, rushing towards the exit with a silent prayer. A quick glance over my shoulder, and I can see him pushing other students out of the way, heading in my direction with a grim expression plastered on his ugly mug.
Don’t follow me, don’t follow me.
I chant that until I’m outside with fresh, fat snowflakes falling down and a cold that sets in my bones as I lift my face to the sky with a relieved sigh. That was a close call. I’ll have to dodge that creep for the rest of the semester. I take off in the direction of Mary’s dorm, hoping she doesn’t have a sock on the door. I don’t want to go back to my father’s townhouse.
* * *
Sprawledout on Mary’s bed with my arms spread wide and my feet dangling over the edge of the bed, I give a small thanks that she changed her sheets. This girl has seen more dicks than a men's locker room. She always talks about her, um… love interests like she is currently. As she does her makeup, she leans over the dresser to get closer to the mirror, applying mascara in thick coats. I don't know how she does it when she’s constantly moving in place and dancing.
“…and then I was like, ‘yeah, baby, you know just what spot to hit inside me.‘ He didn’t really know, but he learned as I showed him just what I needed to come. Girl, it was spectacular. Not the best, but still reached the end goal, if you know what I mean,chica,” she says with a wiggle of her butt.
She smacks her glossy lips together and does a little hip swivel as she finishes getting ready. My little Latina friend has always been a free spirit, but her sleeping around with half the male population goes a lot deeper. Her parents raised her basically in a church—strict and controlling. The only thing her parents signed her up for when she was a kid that Mary still does is ballet. She dances and has been trying to get into a university with a dancing program, like Juilliard. For now, she’s constantly on the prowl for a new hook up before moving on to the next. I get she wants to spread her wings, but I worry about her, because I know for a fact she feels nothing for these guys that pass through her bedroom door almost every night.
I don’t really see the appeal, to be honest. I had a ‘wham bam, thank you, ma’am’ moment in high school when I was at my lowest. At the time, I felt like an empty shell, a human in a bodysuit without a soul. Mom died, I stopped skating for a while—which is my outlet so I don’t sink—and then Father went down the deep end to the point of no return. I needed to feel, even if it was just for a few seconds. Anything to escape my reality and the endless questioning of why I’m still here in the messed-up life I numbly live. I floated in a black sea with my head above the water, just barely keeping me afloat, while the rest of my body sank, dragging me down day by day.
It was all fumbled kisses, groping hands, and then over in two minutes, leaving me feeling unsatisfied and like I was missing something. I don’t have the urge to repeat that whole mess for a very long time. Even the hot men that walk around this campus like Greek gods really don’t do it for me, except one who won’t leave my thoughts. But I’m determined not to think about that asshole again.
It’s the last time, starting right now.
I wonder why he has a look of suppressed anger and sadness deep in those green eyes that pierced right into me… What I wouldn’t give to solve the puzzle of the mysterious air that surrounds him. Damn it! For the love of…I did it again!
“Are you listening to me, girl?” She snaps her fingers to get my attention, and my face turns red. “You’ve been staring at my ass for a solid five minutes. I get it, really, I do. It’s a great ass. Can’t blame ya for checking out my booty.”
There she goes again with the hip swirls and her cackling laugh as I chuck her pillow at her big head just before she smacks her own butt. I was staring at the ceiling as I was buried deep in my head, not staring at her bubbly butt. By the twinkle in her eye, she caught me not listening to her red-handed as she babbled on and on about her sex life.
“Sorry, I’m being a shitty friend. You may continue, but fewer details would be nice. I’m still scarred from when you told me about the professor you almost hooked up with. I never want to hear about a golden shower again, and last semester was torture for me when I had his class. I can only see him now in a zebra thong while he asks for you to pee on him. I’m forever traumatized.” I gag and block that mental image from my head.
Her body lets out a shudder like she wishes she can forget too. Her life stories don’t only affect her, especially when Professor Kinky asked me why I wouldn’t look him in the eye last semester as he praised me about my writing assignment. Talk about awkward. I remember blurting out the first thing I could think of—I freaking told him I had to go pee. I cringed and basically ran away before he got any ideas.
“Believe me when I say,chica…I wish I could rewind time and forget that night. Naughty professors are off my list. Anyways, I was telling you about my latest hookup before you spaced out. I can feel your stress from here. When was the last time you went out, girl? You need to let loose and free your vajayjay. I say we party, let our pussies do the talking! Party tonight and yes it’s a jock party but those are the best. Sometimes you’ll see a cock breezing in the wind or boobies letting free. We need this.” she declares, and flops on the bed next to me.
I groan silently as, once again, my friend is up to no good, trying to corrupt my ways. I don’t want to let my vagina on the loose. I’m not looking for love or a boyfriend. I just want out of this freaking state!
“I don’t think so. Think of all the horny frat jocks.” I make the sign of the cross, and that does the trick because she starts laughing her ass off.
After a few minutes, she stops and we just lie there in silence as we stare at the ceiling.
“You need to start living, you haven’t for a long time. I worry about you,” she whispers, grabbing my hand with a squeeze.
My heart squeezes itself, and I feel like I can’t even smile just so she doesn’t have to worry. All I want to do is pack my bags and leave and never look back again, but what good would that do? I have nowhere and no one to go. I feel like a shitty friend for causing her to worry, but maybe I do need to get out just for one night so she can see I’m going to be okay, even if I’m not.
“Okay, I’ll go. But I swear if I see one naked jock and his tiny balls running around…I’m out of there,” I grumble and ignore her growing smile.
“Don’t worry, that won’t happen. It’s only big cocks and balls at the frat house.” She giggles, and I can’t help laughing with her.
At least I have a few days to prepare myself before the party and to avoid the jerkface.
