“I never learned who they were. They were careful to keep me from finding out anything about them or their lair, but I did know they weren’t powerful enough to have a title. Though after the riches they received from me, that likely changed.
“After I was rescued, I was…unwell for a time. I spent months in bed, haunted by what I’d endured. When I finally found the strength to emerge, I knew I would never be the same again. That’s why I changed my name. All I felt was darkness inside, so I picked Sunshine so I would always be reminded of the light.”
His eyes burned with rage like molten pits of lava. They were so intense she could barely stand to look into them. “What did the demons look like? I will go back to Hell right now, find them, and make them suffer ten times what you did. I’ll make thembegfor death—”
“They’re already dead, Raum.” She reached out and squeezed his forearm, the muscle so tense it was like a rock under her hand. “When Daniel found me, he rounded up every one of them and burned them in a massive hellfire pyre. Their deaths weren’t sanctioned and the act was against the rules, but he did it anyway, for me. That is why I’ve always felt I owe him so much.”
“Daniel, as in Dan?” Raum’s brows climbed his forehead. “Eva’s dad?”
“Yes. Long ago before Daniel left Heaven, we were comrades and fought side by side in many battles. When Daniel chose to fall, we stayed in contact, though it was against the rules. He never told me he had a child, but I don’t blame him for hiding it.”
“But why was Dan the one that found you? Aftermonths? Why didn’t Heaven send in the cavalry to get you out?”
She shrugged, releasing his arm to twist her hands together in her lap. “Angels can’t just go charging into Hell when one of their own is taken.”
“Why the fuck not?”
“There are procedures to follow—everything has to be sanctioned by the Principalities first. And it’s very dangerous for angels in Hell—”
“You’re telling me they didn’t even try to send anyone after you?”
The incredulous look on his face, coupled with righteous indignation, made her insides squirm, though she wasn’t entirely sure why. “I’m only one angel. I’m hardly important to—”
“Bullshit. Demons all hate each other, but if an enemy took someone they considered an ally, they’d charge in there with an entire fucking army, consequences be damned.”
“And look at the amount of bloodshed in Hell. It’s horrific—”
“It’s better than doing fucking nothing!”
“Heaven did everything they could. They—”
“You’re telling me you were trapped there formonthsuntil a Grigori rescued you on some vigilante solo mission. Sounds to me like they did fuck all.”
Sunshine swallowed her next retort. She didn’t want to fight with Raum about this. She knew he was angry on her behalf, and she was grateful for that. She also couldn’t expect him to understand the complicated hierarchy of Heaven and why a single angel’s welfare wasn’t worth potentially endangering the Realm by sending groups of angels on dangerous missions.
After her rescue, the archangel Raphael had paid her a visit as she was convalescing and gently reprimanded her for allowing herself to end up in a position where she’d needed saving.
It is selfish to behave carelessly with the expectation that others will correct your mistakes, Shamsiel.I beg you to remember that in the future. Let this be a learning opportunity for you.
His words had always stuck with her, as had the shame that burned in her gut when he’d spoken them.
Raum blew out a breath. “It makes me fucking livid to think about that happening to you, and that nobody gave a fuck besides fuckingDan. Does make me hate him a bit less though.”
“They did give a fuck,” Sunshine said, the curse foreign on her tongue but strangely cathartic. “When Raphael visited me, he was very concerned and apologetic—”
Raum’s lip curled so quickly at the mention of Raphael that she broke off. At her questioning look, he said, “I hate that fucker.”
“Raphael? Why?”
“He’s a prick. He cursed Asmodeus to a miserable existence for three thousand years.”
“Raphael is one of Heaven’s most decorated angels.” She added gently, “And your brother did kill an entire village of humans before he warranted that punishment.”
“Doesn’t make it justified. Maybe at the time he deserved to suffer a little, but threethousandyears of being invisible to any potential partner? Ash was a lust demon. It fucked him up. He started evolving not long after that, and his life was a living hell for no reason. Raphael could have lifted the curse at any time, but he didn’t. If it weren’t for Eva, Ash probably would’ve stayed cursed forever. Raphael’s a piece of shit.”
“I agree that it’s unfortunate what happened, but Asmodeus broke the rules. Raphael was simply the one who administered his punishment.”
“You don’t know what it’s like,” Raum said, looking out the window at the cloudy morning sky. “You spend your existence being told you’re the worst scum of the Earth with no chance for redemption. And a lot of usarethe worst scum of the Earth and have no desire to evolve. But for the few of us who do, we’re forced to remain in Hell and play by stupid rules designed to make us lose. Pricks like Raphael think they’re so high and mighty when really, they’re just as bad as half the demons in Hell, but they get away with it because they’re angels.”
