“Ozzy’s not entitled to—”
Another pop on the forehead. “Nobody’s entitled to shit. And also, you clearly know his name’s Ozzy. Stop calling him Oswald. Unless you plan to start running around, deadnaming every trans person you’ve ever met too. In which case fuck you.”
Evander’s spine stiffened. “Shit. I guess I…yeah.”
“Never thought of it?” Aras sighed and rose from the chair. “Look, I think you two were good together, to answer your first question. You’re both a couple years older, a couple years more stable. You’ve got some baggage with each other. Decide if it’s worth unpacking. And preferably in a way where we don’t haveto keep you two from literally murdering each other, or walk in on you fucking anymore.” He moved his hands in front of him, parallel to the ground. “Level. Steady. Grown-up time.”
“And start calling him Ozzy.”
Aras rolled his eyes. “Look at that maturity already shining through. Only took someone pointing out the insanely obvious.” Aras muttered and gestured to himself as he walked away toward the elevators.
Evander…just sat. He needed to process that. Aras had confirmed what he wanted to do in the first place, so it was good…right? But after so long, Evander struggled to really let go andbelieveit was a good idea.
Someone walked into the front door of the hotel. A white guy, probably about his age, with a dark mop. He glanced down at his phone, then around the lobby…and his eyes focused in on Evander. Then he grinned and walked over. “Hey. Ev.”
“Quinn?” He was the client from their last job, and probably more relevantly, Jake’s new boyfriend. Evander rose and closed the distance, offering a brief hug. “What are you doing here?”
“Surprising Jake.” He waggled his phone a little. “Bunny was supposed to send me his room number, but I never heard back from her. You don’t happen to know it, do you?”
He’d driven all the way up, across state lines. Evander couldn’t suppress a smile. “He’s going to be thrilled to see you. He hated having to go so soon.”
“I miss him. Haven’t gotten to kick his ass inanyvideo games lately, so he’s probably getting a little too full of himself.”
“We’d hate to see his ego get out of control.” Evander pulled up his phone and flicked over to his notes. They all had each other’s room numbers, just in case something went down. “He’s in three-seventeen. But he’s probably in the shower, so I don’t know if he’ll answer.”
“I can wait. Already made the drive up here.” He shrugged. “What’s a few more minutes?” He patted Evander on the shoulder. “I hate to just run, but—”
“Go. It’s not likewe’redating.”
Quinn waved behind him as he made his way to the elevator. Evander…stood. That was all he could manage. Standing and processing. He wanted someone who would go out of their way to come see him. He wanted someone so desperate to be around him, time didn’t matter. He…couldn’t help but think of that time Ozzy showed up unannounced during Ev’s disaster trip to Phoenix. Rental car broke down, hotel cost way too much, and the concert he’d gone to see in the first place ended up cancelled. So Ozzy showed up at his hotel room and they turned it into a couple’s weekend. He even let Evander play ‘that awful shitty ska music’ that he hated.
Some more of the doubts eroded away as Evander stood in the lobby. All he had to do now was wait for their meet-up.
Chapter twenty-eight
Ozzy
It wasn’t often Ozzytook cold showers. There were a few times he had longer jobs out on the east side of Washington, and those summers were absolutelybrutalcompared to anything on the west. When it came to surviving hundred-fifteen degree heat, a cold shower was a hell of a boon.
And when it came to chilling out the constant engine whirring in his brain. He was absolutely positive this wasn’t going to be a fun time with Evander. This was serious, and Ozzy couldn’t muster up the ire to get acerbic with him.Maybe once I’m actually there. It would be easier to just spew venom and turn him away.
Unfortunately, there was some part of Ozzy, down deep in his core, that didn’twantto turn Evander away. He was a splinter under the thumbnail in so many ways, but spending time with him softened that impression. A lot. There was a comfort beingaround him, even when they were fighting. It felt like sliding into something that had been missing for too long.
Which was also scary. It felt more like codependence than Ozzy wanted. They hadlegitimatereasons to drift apart in the first place. Everyone else’s peace and quiet was part of it, but not the primary reason.
Why would Ev ever want to be with someone he doesn’t respect?
Eventually, the shower got to be too cold even for Ozzy’s agitated state. He cranked the water off, but didn’t bother to dry himself when he stepped out, just walked naked into the middle of the hotel room and breathed.
Talking to Evander could clear the air. It wasn’t a requirement that anything come of it…so why did it feel like, when he got there, the two of them would somehow fall back into a relationship? As if neither of them had agency and the laws of nature would thrust them into each other’s orbit?
He laid on the bed, letting the cool air play over the water on his skin, and just enjoying the chill while he reminisced. The blow-up at the restaurant had been the final straw, even though they drifted along as boyfriends for about six months after that. Habit more than anything, before Ozzy finally had to leave and cut everything off…and end Pine Point Fixer-Uppers in the process. There was no way for them to be apart when they still had a channel to uphold.
But he also remembered Evander sitting up with him and giving him space to cry about his bullshit with his parents. Even when Evanderclearlythought Ozzy was in the wrong for maintaining those ties as long as he did, he let Ozzy unload on him. Ozzy couldn’t do that with anyone else. Honestly, once he was done with Ev, that made cutting ties with his family that much easier. He had no outlet for his emotions, so he had to go virtually no contact with his parents for everyone’s health andwell-being. Christmases, birthdays, and funerals. That was the extent of their contact, and other than the one funeral they’d had in the last two years, it didn’t go beyond cards or five-minute phone calls.
Ev used to push him and push him until he finally got a reaction, then would talk about Ozzy’s temper. But Ozzy also used to deliberately play cooler than he was because he knew it got under Evander’s skin. But that wasn’t really that common of a thing between them. Mostly, he and Evander knew how to take and give critique to each other. Ozzy becamesignificantlybetter at being honest about his feelings and not hiding behind sarcasm or aloofness. It wasn’t a complete fix—Ozzy was the person he was—but if they hadn’t been together for so long, he would have stayed totally out of touch with himself.
Which, in exactly that moment, didn’t sound so awful to Ozzy. He could handle being a lot less tuned-in on his own feelings, since they had him lying naked on his bed, soaking into the sheets and spiraling.
