Ashton’s head cocks to the side, and I choke on nothing when he says, “No say fuck.”
“And that’s literally the opposite of what I said, you little monster. I said—never mind. You’re two. Ready to take Holden his breakfast?”
“Hap birfday?”
“Yeah, baby, we want him to have a very happy birthday.”
I quickly release him from his seat then crouch to his level. My finger presses against my lips, a soft ‘Shh’ escaping, and he nods enthusiastically even though he doesn’t fall quiet. I expected nothing less of a child who isn’t even three yet. So I rise to my feet, gather the tray, and balance it on one flat palm. My other hand reaches for the mug of coffee I’d prepared.
Ashton leads the way up the stairs, his steps confident yet unsteady. I stay close behind in case he falls. It’s unnecessary—he makes it to the top without a single issue. I praise him for his efforts and success, and he beams as he runs down the short hall to the bedroom.
Holden is already awake, lounging against the pillows as he gazes at his phone screen. He glances up when Ashton screeches his name. Within the second, his phone clatters to the nightstand, and he sits up fully. He catches the toddler with ease, swings him up onto the bed.
“Well, good morning, bud,” he says before pressing a kiss to Ashton’s forehead.
“Beffist!”
“You made me breakfast? That’s awesome! Did Auntie Dealla help?”
Ashton shakes his head. “Nope!”
My jaw drops at the blatant lie, but then I’m laughing. I wait until Ashton is settled in next to Holden, then I over the tray. Holden accepts it—and the following kiss—with enthusiasm. I climb onto the mattress, taking care not to spill from the mug I still hold, and take a sip before handing it to Holden.
“Thank you,” Holden says after his first bite, and I grin.
“You’re welcome. Happy birthday, babe. Sorry I left your present downstairs.”
Holden frowns, but only for a second. It disappears quickly, and he shakes his head with a chuckle. He’d told me no gifts, he only wanted to spend the day with Ashton and me before he had to leave again. I couldn’t accept it, though. Who doesn’t want some materialistic evidence that someone was thinking about them?
When Holden speaks, it isn’t to chide me for the gifts. Instead, it’s: “My mom wants to try for a video-chat today.”
“Gonna let her meet Ash?”
“If you’re alright with it.”
I catch Ashton as he launches himself at me. Though it’s unexpected, I can’t find it in me to stand in the way of this meeting. I had talked to Lisa and Joseph only three days ago, our first ever conversation despite how long I’ve been dating their son, and it went smoothly. I was anxious at first, but Lisa quickly put me at ease. The phone call had also made me feel much more permanent in Holden’s life. The doubts all but blipped into nothingness. It had taken a year, but I finally ‘met’ his parents. I hope it’s in person soon.
“Meet me?” Ashton bounces on his hands and knees with his head tilter, a small frown out of place on his angelic face. “Who meet me? An’ Dee, who meet me?”
Holden is the one who answer as he scoops Ashton onto his lap. He waits until he has the toddler’s attention then says, “Okay. I have a very important question for you, bud. You ready?” At Ashton’s vehement nod, Holden bites back a grin. “Do you wanna talk to my mama later?”
“You not have mommy,” Ashton retorts with a giggle, fingers coming up to pick at Holden’s bottom lip.
“What? Yes, I do.”
“Nooo, daddies no have mommy.”
Ashton’s words reverberate damningly in the sudden silence. I freeze, my heart in my throat, and my breathing grows shallow as I stare at the child. Cold washes over me, pricking hundreds of goosebumps into existence in its wake. Ashton smiles up at Holden as if he hasn’t completely turned our worlds upside-down at eight in the morning.
When I meet Holden’s eye, it’s to see he’s just as stunned as I am. His eyes are wide, jaw dropped. If this were anything but real life, his head would be shaking violently with the screeching of an early-00s modem dialing up. There’s a question painted on his face. It’s easy enough to read, but I have no answer. I swallow thickly and give him a helpless shrug.
Only he can make this next choice.
He draws in a steadying breath and reaches for my hand. “Well, that’s where you’re wrong, sweet boy. Daddies absolutely have mommies, too. And mine is really excited to meet you today.”
“I’ll be right back,” I choke out before clambering off the bed.
As I lean against the wall outside the door, I struggle to breathe. I should have expected something like this. My mama had warned me it would happen—that Ashton would conflate Holden and me into the role of his parents. After all, Holden is the closest thing to a father figure that Ashton has ever had.
