I force myself to move, to flop to the side so I’m no longer on his lap. We lie side-by-side for a few minutes, listening to each other breathe. Peace settles in my soul. This... This is what I’ve wanted for so long. I thought I had it all with school, family, taking care of Ashton. But Holden has shown he is a missing piece of a puzzle I never knew I was putting together.
Holden stands and holds out at his hands. I frown at him but let him haul me up until I’m standing. His lips brush against mine, and I know, Iknow, I’d follow him anywhere.
‘Anywhere’, in this case, turns out to be the bathroom. I stand awkwardly, arms crossed over my chest and legs pressed tightly together, while he slides the shower door to the side and reaches in to twist the tap. The water jets down from the showerhead; he adjusts the lever until it’s more reminiscent of a rainfall, then we wait.
Steam eventually curls into the air, collects on the glass, and we step into the shower stall—much larger than any I’ve ever been in before. I stop under the spray, close my eyes, and let the hot water stream down my face. When I push my hair from my face and open my eyes, it’s to see Holden sitting on the bench at the far end of the shower, smiling that soft smile of his. He beckons me toward him and rises to his feet to press our foreheads together. The words float on my tongue. It would be so easy to say it, to tell him he’s easy to fall in love with, but I swallow them down. We’re already going fast enough; no need to complicate it further.
Holden scrubs my back clean, and even though he peppers my exposed skin with kisses, he doesn’t push for more. I appreciate it, more than I could ever put into words. It’s intimate enough, this fragment of domesticity. We rinse soap from our skin, shampoo from our hair, and I inhale the scent of bergamot and cedarwood. I know I can never go back to my usual rose-mint. It will never bring me this same level of peace.
After dressing and brushing our teeth, Holden leads me out of the bathroom and to the bed. I pause, hesitate, then climb onto the mattress. This is new. This is unfamiliar. We’ve always been in my bed, my apartment, my car. He’s been inmyterritory. The difference and distance from home sends a frisson of unease up my spine, and I blow out a breath when he wiggles his fingers in my direction. I swallow against the sharp lump in my throat and curl into his side.
“I’m so glad you came,” he murmurs after he’s tugged the comforter over my shoulders. “I was… I was afraid you’d say no.”
I huff out a laugh and place my hand on his chest. Feel his heartbeat beneath my palm. “I almost did. But I figured if you could be selfish enough to ask, I could be selfish enough to accept.”
“Selfish is good sometimes.”
“I think I’ll be selfish more often.”
A wide yawn stretches my jaw uncomfortably tight, and I exhale heavily as the rest of my energy seeps from me. Holden speaks, so quiet, so sweet, but I hear none of it. I only drift off to my dreams.
Stolen Moments
It’slaterthanmyusual wake-up time, I know it without even opening my eyes. I breathe in deeply, peace seeping into my entire being as I melt into the mattress. My dreams slip from my mental fingers, though I don’t try hard to remember them. I know they were pleasant ones, and that’s all that matters.
Warm lips press to my shoulder, and I bite my lower lip to stifle a smile. I don’t roll over even as I murmur, “Keep doin’ that, and we ain’t gettin’ outta bed.”
Holden’s chuckle ghosts across my skin. “Why would I wanna get out of bed when you’re right here?” He kisses the curve of my neck then pulls away. “Your accent is adorable, by the way.”
“I don’t have an accent. You do.”
Holden doesn’t bother arguing against my sleepy protests, justmmms in response before leaning over to kiss my cheek. I finally roll to face him, catching myself instantly captivated by the bright gray of his eyes. He brushes a lock of hair from my face; a soft flush covers his cheeks, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
“Good morning.”
“Mornin’.” I push myself to sit up, yawning widely and stretching out my muscles. I don’t miss the way his gaze skims over my body. “What time is it?”
“Nine.”
“I haven’t woken up this late in a long time.”
Holden opens his mouth to speak, but the growl of my stomach interrupts him. I frown down at my belly, which makes Holden laugh and promise there is food in the dining room. I nod before climbing out of bed and padding across the room to the bathroom. My skin heats when I catch sight of him watching me. An expression ofsomethinglingers on his face, and I wonder what he’s thinking. It isn’t the look of desire he’s given me many times before. I just can’t place it.
After using the toilet, washing my hands, and scrubbing my teeth clean, I step back into the bedroom to find it empty. Holden sits at the dining table when I make my way downstairs, scrolling through an app on his phone. Two plates sit on the table—one in front of him, the other in front of the chair to his left. He leans over to kiss my temple when I sit beside him, and a dizzying sort of feeling washes over me. I’ve finally done something selfish, something for myself that brings me joy. Something that, while it has its own bitter edges, is sweeter than anything I’ve ever imagined. I’mhere.
Evelyn joins us halfway through breakfast. The woman wears a pullover hoodie that hangs too large on her slight frame, her bubblegum-pink hair in a sloppy ponytail that she’s draped over her shoulder. Her slender hands make the mug between them look enormous. Evelyn smiles tiredly then gulps down a mouthful of her drink. Wincing as she lowers the mug, she pokes her tongue out and goes cross-eyed while she tries to examine the appendage. She shrugs after a moment and rests her elbow on the table, chin on her palm.
“Morning, lovebirds,” she singsongs, and Holden rolls his eyes and pushes the crust of his toast toward her. “Ooh, thanks!”
“Morning, freak. Sleep well?”
“You know damn well I did, Lynch. And I’m stealing that mattress one of these days.”
“I’d like to see you try.”
My gaze bounces back and forth between the two, and I listen to the game of verbal tennis I can’t help but be engrossed by. Evelyn cheerfully calls Holden an ass for insinuating she’s too small to move a mattress by herself. Holden responds in kind, explicitly calling her too small to move a mattress by herself, especially one that’s king-sized. It’s so familiar between them that I feel out of place. I have this sort of camaraderie with Luci and Tristan, of course, but they aren’t here. They’re back in Austin while I’m here in my boyfriend’s dining room.
Once my plate is empty, I rise to my feet, carry my dishes to the kitchen, and wash them quickly. Holden and Evelyn continue talking while I head upstairs. I can’t join the conversation, so I might as well get dressed. Choosing the outfit on top of the stack in my suitcase, I quickly change into the denim shorts and loose-fitting sleeveless top. Unless Holden has a big agenda for the day, I don’t plan on leaving the house.
