“If it’s not to be, then I want you to promise me something.” Alex rested his hands on Josiah’s chest and looked him straight in the eye, deadly serious.
“Anything.” Josiah stroked his hair.
“I want you to promise me that you won’t go back to how you were before. That you won’t freeze up inside again. Please promise me that you’ll at least be open to the possibility of love. There won’t be another Peter, that’s not possible, but there might be another Alex. Another man who’ll share your bed and make you smile again.” He dropped a little kiss on Josiah’s chest. “Promise me you’ll go forward and not backwards, Joe. That you’ll allow yourself to love again.”
Josiah gazed at him helplessly, his throat too tight to speak.
“Joe – please – if you let one good thing come out of this whole mess, let it be that.”
Josiah cleared his throat. “Okay,” he whispered. He didn’t have the heart to tell Alex it was too late. That he’d already found the next great love of his life, and that he was going to lose him before he’d had the chance to even get to know him properly. “I promise,” he said.
“Good.” Alex dropped another little kiss on his chest. “Any idea how long we’ve got?”
“If we don’t find a body by the end of tomorrow, I think that’s it.”
“Then I need you to make me another promise. That you’ll keep on looking for her, keep on seeking justice for her, even when Tyler has ripped me away from you, even if I’m dead. Please, promise me that.”
“You know I will,” Josiah said hoarsely. “I’ll bring him down somehow. Do you know where he’ll take you? Out of the country, I’m assuming. Somewhere I won’t be able to find you.”
“Yes.” Alex turned over abruptly and sat up. “He’ll take me to Spain. He has a house there – a beautiful house, overlooking the sea. He kept me there before.”
“Was it a bad time?” Josiah asked, stroking his back gently.
Alex stiffened and turned to glance over his shoulder. “No. That’s what makes my long, fucked-up history with George Tyler so complicated. It wasn’t bad there. In fact, for the most part, it was pretty nice. It’s just that I was in a very dark place during that time.”
He clearly didn’t want to elaborate, so Josiah let it drop. He was intrigued all the same. There was still so much about Alex Lytton that he didn’t know or fully understand. He was sure nothing could change the way he felt about him, but there was clearly more to discover. Looking at Alex’s tense back, he had the nagging suspicion that he wouldn’t like what he was still hiding.
Alex stayed behind with Sem again, while Josiah and Sofie returned to the command post. Tyler was still there, watching their every move from the other side of the water, but the tables had turned. Now,hewas the one throwing taunting grins Josiah’s way, and Josiah was the one pretending to ignore them. Tyler knew he was winning. They’d not found a body, nothing to give credence to Alex’s accusations. How long would Esther continue to support this search, given the time and money they were spending on it? In the meantime, Tyler’s lawyers were closing in on Alex fast, and Josiah was on the verge of losing this battle.
It was another fruitless day. Josiah didn’t waste it standing pointlessly by the water. He went through the case with Reed, briefing him on what he wanted, and he continued to dig through everything he had on Elliot Dacre. He gave fresh ordersto his team, setting them to work looking through every one of his file notes. He also lined up the warrants he wanted issued as soon as they found a body.
“A bit optimistic, sir,” Reed murmured.
“We need to move fast the minute we find her. I’ve briefed our teams to move into every single one of Tyler’s properties in case he tries to hide something.”
“He’s known you’re on to him for days. Anything he wants hidden has surely been well and truly disappeared by now,” Reed pointed out.
He was right. They couldn’t move in on Tyler until they found Solange’s body, but every day that passed gave Tyler more time to hide his many guilty secrets.
Josiah drove back to the house with Sofie in silence that evening. The mood when they arrived was different, the happy chatter of the previous night absent. Everyone was preoccupied and downcast; they all knew this was likely to be Alex’s last night with them.
Later, Josiah and Alex made love slowly, for as long as they were physically able, without speaking, saying all that needed to be said with their bodies.
Esther rang early, as Josiah was getting dressed. “The lawyers say it’s over,” she said gruffly. “You’d better bring Lytton to the command post today and hand him in.”
“Understood,” Josiah replied, barely breathing. He wanted to lash out, to fight somebody, to relieve the pressure inside by pounding his fists into something. He felt Alex’s hands on his shoulders, wrapping his arms around him, and he gathered him up in a hug and held on to him tightly instead.
“It’s okay,” Alex whispered. “We knew this would happen. It’s okay.” Josiah thought that he should be the one offering reassurances, but he had none to give.
They’d reached the end of the line.
Sofie wasn’t happy about leaving Sem alone, but they had no choice. Alex couldn’t stay there any longer, and she and Josiah were both needed at the command post. So, they left Sem with a holopad, and strict orders to call if he was in distress. Then, Josiah drove Sofie and Alex to Lewes, with instructions to Reed to meet them there.
Alex laughed and chatted in the duck as if nothing was happening, singing along to the radio and making small talk. Josiah found it grating at first, until he figured out that this was Alex’s last chance to be normal, to be himself, to be human before he had to put his mask back on.
It was a damp grey day, which suited Josiah’s mood perfectly. A fine mist was rising up from the water as the divers went back in. Their morale had plummeted as the search continued with no results. Everyone was downcast.
Everyone except Tyler. He looked rejuvenated on the other side of the water, waving enthusiastically when he saw Josiah.
