“Amor,” I say again, this time slowly slipping my hands out of my pockets to lift them.
“I saiddon’t!” she snaps, pressing the pistol harder against my throat and also shoving my chest with one of her shoulders, pushing me back toward the wall behind me.
I let her do it, walking with her rather than resisting, but at the same time, I clasp my hands around hers on the pistol grip. At that, she jerks her hands away and shoves me again with her palms flat against my chest.
“Go on, then!” she hollers, eyes wide and crazed and spilling with tears. “Go on and fucking shoot me, Joaquin. You’ve already got my gun. Shoot me just like you did to yourprimo. I fuckingdare you.”
Her voice is cracking, and her breasts are heaving under the thin, baggy fabric of her tank top. I toss the pistol onto the bed and turn over my palms in front of me, offering her a purposefully neutral look.
“Natalia,” I say gently. “I know you’ve been through a lot—”
“Fuck you!” She shoves me a third time, but then grabs the neck of my jacket and jerks me away from the wall. Her strength is surprising given her slight frame, and it catches me off guard enough that I stumble slightly. “You don’t fucking know. You have no fucking clue.” She continues to come at me, throwing elbows and jerking me with the fabric of my jacket in her white knuckles. “You’re fucking clueless, and what are you going to do right now, Joaquin?Huh?”
Her palm flies through the air, and the sting of flesh connecting with flesh sears one side of my face. She just fuckingslappedme, but her eyes are still spilling, and now her chin is trembling harder, and it’s clear she’s just fucking losing it. So I simply lift my hands neutrally.
“Huh? What now?” she barks, one fist clamped around the fabric at the base of my throat. . “I fucking hit you. What the fuck are you going to do now,cabron?”
Natalia’s pulse is leaping on the side of her neck, her typical warm, tawny skin now blanched with uncharacteristic pallor and glistening with the sheen of sweat.
I shake my head passively. “I’m gonna wait for you to calm the fuck down.”
“Hah!” She pulls on my jacket again, and then everything flashes white for a second as her fist slams into the crest of my cheekbone. “What now? What now? What are you gonna do now? Hit me, mother fucker!”
Her hand is still clenching my hoodie, and I see her fist hauling back a second time, and I’m done with this shit.
I grab the loose fabric of her tank top and jerk her to me, wrapping my arms around her, pinning her arms at her sides. “I will not fuckinghit you, Natalia. Take a fucking breather.”
“Why not!” she shrieks, wriggling and writhing in my grasp. “Why not!I fucking hityou!”
“First of all,” I hiss, angling my head over hers while I locate her wrists and clasp them behind her back, “I’d never fucking hit awoman, andsecond, I sure as fuck would never hityou.”
“You’re apussy!” she spits back at me.
“Only a pussy would pound on someone half their fucking size, Natalia,” I growl, holding her flush against me. “It’s more than clear that’s what you’re used to dealing with, but that’s not fuckingme. I don’t care what you do to me, I’d never lay a fucking finger on you. Not like that. I get that you’re under a fuck-ton of stress right now, but you need to take a fucking breather because I’m not the fucking enemy,querida. I’m not gonna hurt you no matter how much you try to hurt me.”
A vein is raised against her neck, and her thick, ebony hair is wild in a crazed, disheveled ponytail. Eyes wide and still spilling. Mouth parted as she pants against my lips and chin.
A sob catapults out of her throat. “Why did you come here? I told you not to come here.”
“I came because you need me, and I need you.” The pang in my chest is somehow louder and deeper and more painful because just holding her again only makes me realize I’ll never get enough of her, even if she stayed right here with me, and it sounds like she’s still hell bent on getting as far away from me as possible. “You’re losing your shit, Natalia. I know you’ve been turning tricks, and that you’re planning to go after thesevatosby yourself, and you’re not thinking clearly right now. All of that is gonna get you killed, and I’m not going to stand idly fucking by while that happens.”
She sucks in a ragged breath and screeches, “Why the fuck do you care about any of that?”
It takes everything to not roll my eyes, and I just hold her that much tighter against me. “Because I fuckinglove you, dumbass!”
Another sob explodes from her lips, and I immediately feel guilty for calling her that.
“I’m sorry. You’re not a dumbass, Natalia,” I amend, absently lifting one hand to sweep her thick, frizzy ponytail off her back. “This is just a really terrible—”
Natalia silences me with her full lips on mine. This kiss is deep, hungry, and pleading. It’s enough to knock me out of the chaos of this moment and causes all the blood to rush south to my dick, but it immediately rushes back to my brain when she begins to weep. Guttural, body-wracking sobs against my mouth while her shaking hands and trembling fingers claw at my hoodie, demanding greater closeness from me.
“Lo siento.” Her words are a breath painting my skin as she draws her lips and fingers across my cheek where she struck me twice only seconds ago. “I’m so sorry,cariño.I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, so sorry, so sorry.”
“Baby… don’t.” Framing her face with my hands, I stroke my thumbs across her cheeks, and the longing of her being gone only a few days nearly forces a lump to the top of my throat. “Don’t say you’re sorry. It’s okay. I know you’re having a hell of a time right now, and I’m going to help you.”
“You shouldn’t have come here,” she murmurs in Spanish through tears. “This isn’t safe. I need to end this, and it isn’t safe for you.”
“You’re crazy,” I respond, also in Spanish. “Did you hear anything I said when I called? I love you. I’m not angry.” I kiss her forehead, eyelids, the spot between her brows, the side of her nose, and the damp stain of tears on her cheekbone. “I don’t care how this started. I don’t care that you lied, or that my fucking cousin sent you to kill me. I love you. I am with you until the bitter fucking end, baby. And I’m not going to let you just run away from me.”
