‘You really don’t remember, do you?’ he replies with grin. ‘You were sitting at a table, alone, in a beer garden in Headingly. You were being harassed by… I think it was a Mario Brother. I told him?—’
‘You told him you were my boyfriend,’ I interrupt him. ‘Oh my gosh, that was you. You swooped in, saved the day, then disappeared.’
‘I did pop back, to see if you were okay, but I could see you had a man sitting with you, and you looked happy so… yeah.’
I’m gobsmacked. And suddenly it makes so much sense, why Mario was fawning over him, it wasn’t because he was dressed as someone famous, it’s because hewassomeone famous – Brody Ryan, the bad boy of cricket, a Headingly celebrity.
‘You’re a regular hero, aren’t you?’ I say.
‘I promise you, I don’t go around making a habit of it,’ he insists. ‘I’ve only done it the two times you know about. Only with you.’
‘Well, thanks, for both times,’ I tell him. ‘I’ve only ever needed someone to pretend to be my boyfriend twice – I’m glad it was you.’
Convincing people I went to the spa won’t be an issue, I can feel the happiness beaming out of me like sunshine. Convincing myself that it’s not because of Brody is a different matter…
29
You know what? I know this is a pre-wedding cruise, and I’m part of the wedding party, but does there really need to be so much stuff? I love Kelsey, and Neil, and spending time with Al and Kira, and even Brody, it turns out, is a delight to hang out with. But do we really need to spend so much time together and, if we do, do we always have to be competing?
What fresh hell today, I hear you ask? Basketball. Yep, sport. And on the day I decided to have a workout, so my body is knackered. I could blame my inevitable poor performance on that, I guess, but it just feels like PE all over again. Adult me really couldn’t care less how good or bad anyone is at bleep tests, but twelve-year-old me was always mortified to be out at, like, level 3 (and it was a long time ago, so I’m probably remembering that more favourably than it actually was).
Anyway, I’m here, I’m on Brody’s team, he seems to be good at actually everything, and I’m told that having Al on the other team is also an advantage, because his arms are only good for throwing fridges over HGVs and looking great with a tan.
Personally, if this were my wedding, I would be keeping wellaway from literally anything that could see me getting hurt – I once gave myself a black eye pulling up my tights in a public toilet, so truly, nothing feels safe.
But sure, why not, let’s have a game of four-a-side. Let’s throw hard balls at each other. See what happens.
‘Right,’ Al says with a clap of his hands, because the man cannot turn off his competitive nature for a moment. ‘Let’s do this. I may be hungover, and I may not have played this before, but I came to win.’
He’s on a team with Kira, Todd and Nikki, leaving me, Brody, Kelsey and Neil on the other side. I’m happy with that. Kelsey was on the school netball team, so those skills must translate, Neil is sportsy, and Brody is Brody. Todd likes watching sport, Al is made of marble, Kira hates physical activity, and Nikki screamed during the warm-up when Todd threw a ball to her. I like my odds. The only thing wrong with our team is me, I’m the weak link, but I’ve advised everyone to refrain from passing me the ball unless it’s absolutely necessary. I’m happy to be on the winning team, of course I am, I just don’t believe I’m capable of doing anything to help us get there. My help would hurt, without a doubt, but apparently this is supposed to be fun…? So I’ll try not to overthink it.
‘A relaxing day of trying not to get hit in the face by balls,’ I say with a sigh. ‘Although I suppose you’re used to it.’
‘A day of trying not to get hit in the face by balls?’ Brody repeats my words back to me and, fair enough, they were a poor choice.
‘You know what I mean,’ I say with a roll of my eyes.
‘I’ve got your back, don’t worry,’ he reassures me. ‘If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s throwing and catching. I’ll be fine with bigger balls.’
I purse my lips. Now it’s his turn to phrase things terribly –then again, knowing Brody, he probably did that just to make me laugh.
‘I’ll body-check Al, if I have to,’ he adds. Yep, he has to be kidding.
‘Body-checking Al would be like body-checking a Boeing 747,’ I reply.
‘And I’d do it – for you,’ he continues.
I snort.
‘Let’s hope it never comes to that,’ I reply. ‘But how very gentlemanly of you.’
‘I try,’ he says with a wink.
It’s an outdoor court – of course it is, the ship is endless – surrounded by a safety net that presumably stops balls going overboard, or hitting the other guests. Knowing myself, I’ll find a way to breach that, if not with a ball then with myself.
‘Todd and Nikki are staring at us again,’ I tell Brody quietly, through gritted teeth.
‘Shall we give them something to stare at?’ he replies.
