Because a part of you knows she’s right. Deep down, you know she’s telling the truth. You just don’t want to admit it to yourself or anyone else.
When she felt steadier, she began to walk and was surprised to find herself outside Patrick’s cottage on Walker Street.
Before she knew what she was doing, Charlotte pushed the gate open and took the stairs two at a time. On the front porch, with her heart in her throat, Charlotte lifted her hand to knock. Milo began to bark and paw at the door. A moment later, she heard the latch, and Patrick’s face appeared in the doorway.
He did a double take when he saw her, and she saw Milo wag his tail furiously. “Charlotte, hey. I didn’t know you were coming by.”
“I wanted to call,” Charlotte whispered, a lump rising in the back of her throat. “But I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to get the words out.”
Patrick threw the door open and beckoned her inside. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
Charlotte stepped inside, the smell of mashed potatoes hitting her first and making her stomach tighten. “No, I’m not okay. I mean, physically, I’m fine, but emotionally, I’m a wreck.”
Patrick gestured to the couch, and she collapsed onto it. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“Green tea if you have it,” Charlotte replied before running a hand over her face. When Patrick came back with a tray carrying two mugs and a plate of cookies, Charlotte burst into tears again. He rubbed her arms and squeezed her hands, the frown never leaving his face.
In a small voice, Charlotte told him everything, letting it pour through her.
As soon as she was done, she sat back and took a long sip of her tea. Patrick’s face had lost some of its color, and his eyes kept darting around the room. As soon as they settled on Charlotte, she shivered and sat up straighter.
“I…I don’t know what to say.”
Charlotte took another sip of her drink and grimaced. “It’s a lot, and I know I should’ve told you sooner, but I…I just wasn’t ready.”
Patrick blinked. “I understand.”
Charlotte searched his face, but her heart was still pounding. “Do you?”
“It’s a big thing,” Patrick said after a lengthy pause. “Areallybig thing.”
For a while longer, the two of them sat there while Charlotte resisted the urge to run and hide. When she realized Patrick was still processing, Charlotte finished the last of her tea and stood up. Patrick followed her to the door but didn’t say anything. She glanced over her shoulder at him as she walked away.
Each step away from him felt harder than the last.
Savannah is right. You probably just torpedoed any chance the two of you might have, and you have no one to blame but yourself.
After years of longing, yearning, and waiting, it was over before it even began.
Charlotte’s eyes burned with tears as she walked back home with her shoulders hunched. Outside her apartment building, she stopped to message Addison, bringing her up to speed about everything. She was rummaging through her purse for the keys when her phone lit up, and Addison’s face flashed across the screen.
“I’m not really in the mood for company.” She shoved the door open the rest of the way and stumbled in. “I think I’m just going to sleep.”
“That’s fine, but in the morning, I’m taking you out to breakfast. Savannah is going to come around, Char. She’s just being overprotective.”
Charlotte kicked off her shoes and left them behind the door. “And what about Patrick?”
Addison sighed. “I honestly don’t know, but I hope he comes around too.”
She couldn’t imagine years of friendship going down the drain just like that.
Having Patrick as a friend was better than not having him at all.
Chapter Nineteen
“And you still haven’t heard from him?” Libby handed her the cup of coffee and sat down opposite her. “What about school? Have you seen him there?”
Charlotte glanced down at her coffee, and her stomach clenched. “No, I don’t know if he’s avoiding me on purpose or if we’re just both busy.”
