“Yeah, I’m great,” I lie, forcing a smile so tight my face might crack right in half. It’s fake, artificial andwrong;nothing better than a cutout piece of cardboard glued to my mouth. “Dinner was amazing. Everything was amazing…you’reamazing.”
His expression softens as he tucks me under his arm, driving into the setting night as I nestle in the comfort of his embrace. Exhaustion from my mental war catches up to me, and my eyelids grow heavy, limbs twitching as sleep pulls me under its spell.
A soft kiss presses into my hair as he whispers, “I think I’m falling in love with you, Azrael.” But I’m so tired, and it’s so quiet, that I can’t really be sure it isn’t all a dream.
Micah sits behind his massive marble desk, his assessing gaze taking me in as he leans back, fingers steepled in front of hisface. His larger-than-life presence has always been imposing, but today he’s particularly calculating.
“You wanted to see me?” I ask, and he nods, gesturing towards the chair across from him.
“Azrael, I won’t lie… when you were selected to fill this role, I prepared myself for the worst. My initial prediction was a month so destructive it could only be called... what is the phrase the humans use? A dumpster fire? I expected to walk out these doors and find the entire realm thick with the stench of your failure. Frankly, I was willing to put down a significant amount of money that this would end in absolute catastrophe.” He turns thoughtful, eyes going far-away. “Actually, it just occurred to me that I need to check on that betting pool.”
The brutal honesty in his words stuns me into silence, and it takes a moment for my brain to come back online. “Right…” I drawl, trying to stop the fidgeting in my hands. “Um, I’m not really sure how I’m supposed to respond to that.”
He waves a dismissive hand before tossing his long, perfectly silky opalescent hair over his shoulder. “Suffice it to say, you have proven me wrong, Azrael. That is a rare feat, indeed.”
A snarky comment waits on the tip of my tongue, but instead, I shake my head as I blurt, “There is something I have to tell you.” My fingers trace nervous patterns on the table as he focuses once more, his eyes becoming lilac laser beams of scrutiny. “And questions I need to ask.”
“Alright.” Chin lifting with an obvious arrogance, he sweeps his hand. “Continue.”
“When I first took the position, I… kind of made a mistake.”
The scornful laugh that huffs from his lips is filled to the brim with condescension. “Oh, my dear boy, you made many,manymistakes.”
“That’s… yeah. That’s probably fair,” I mutter before taking a deep breath, steeling myself to let the truth out. “When I was called to a summons, I accidentally shot a woman while she was focused on the wrong man.”
To my surprise, he just snickers. “Please, as though you’re the only Cupid who’s ever madethatmistake. It makes for a little obsessive behavior, but it’s not a big deal. One particular man grew so obsessed with his fake match that he became the inspiration for a popular stalker romance. It was actually quite amusing. I have the paperback if you’d like to read it.” His eyes land on my face—wide-eyed and shocked, no doubt—and lets out another chuckle. “Give it a month and the obsession will fade. She’ll be fine.”
“That’s, uh, a lot to unpack… although, yeah, I’d love to borrow the book, if you don’t mind.” Back on track, Az. “But there’s more… I also kinda, sorta, accidentally shot… myself.”
“Yourself?” Oh boy, those eyebrows arehighon his face.
My fingers commence their anxious fidget as I nod. “Dropped the arrow, actually, and it stabbed me right in the foot.” He opens his mouth, but I shake my head and hold my hand up. “Please, just let me tell you the whole story before I chicken out again. That way, you have all the information before you start yelling.”
He hesitates, then sighs. “Alright, then. Out with it.”
“Ever since I dropped that arrow, I’ve been completely infatuated with this human. I understand the arrows don’t create false emotions, I do, but Micah… I’m falling for this man, and I’m pretty sure he’s falling for me, too. The effect will fade eventually, and the thought of how my feelings might change? It’sunbearable. He’d be left loving someone that might only sort of like him in return. I don’t want to do that to him, would rather die than hurt him, but I can’t fucking stay away.”
My eyes sting as I take a deep breath, filling my lungs before I continue. “He doesn’t know who I am… doesn’t even knowwhatI am. How fucked up is that?! He’s a human and I’m a Cherub, but I love him just the same. Or at least, I feel like I do. There has to be a way for us to make it work… Ineedto make it work.”
“And I… I’ve been researching. Cherubs have given up their wings for humans in the past, but I can’t make that magnitude of a decision while I’m under the effects of the arrow. Thatstupidfucking arrow. If I hadn’t been so clumsy…” I shake my head, not daring to look at Micah again. “It’s my fault. It’s always my fucking fault, and it is absolutely killing me to wait. There’s this wedge between us, and it’s because ofme.I keep driving it deeper because I’mlying, but I’m lying forhim!What do I do, Micah? I just…” A tear streaks my cheek as I deflate, sinking back into my chair as I stare at my lap. “I don’t know what to do.”
Silence descends between us, thick and heavy, the seconds ticking away like a bomb as I wait.
“Well, that was certainly not what I expected.” I glance up, finding him staring at me with curious intensity, drumming those steepled fingers on his chin. “After that information dump, my next statement might be inappropriate, but here it is. I was planning on asking you to take the position of The Cupid permanently.”
“What?” I whisper, watery eyes wide as I stare, openmouthed.
“Yes,what,indeed. Your human man puts a kink in those plans, doesn’t he?” Speechless, I can only watch as he gestures towards a stack of papers on his desk. “Azrael, aside from a few minor mistakes, your matches have been immaculate. Satisfaction rates are through the roof, and though it’s too earlyto tell, I believe your longevity statistics will be even more impressive.”
“But,” I stutter, my lip wobbling before I get myself under control. “That doesn’t make sense. I’m just… I’m justme.Clumsy, dorky Azrael that barely has his own life together. I can’t even figure out my own happiness, much less be responsible for the entirety of humankind. That’s… absurd.”
“Ah, that’s the way it goes, though, isn’t it?” He’s thoughtful as he appraises me. “The lens through which we view others is often different from the one we use to examine ourselves.”
“What about Beau?”
An expression bordering on guilt crosses his face. “Azrael, there is something you need to understand.”
“If being The Cupid means I have to give him up, I won’t do it. There’s no way I’ll leave him behind, even if it is just the arrow influencing my emotions. No one in my entire fucking life has ever seen me like he does, and he’s only getting half of me. It isn’tfair.”
