“You think he’s safe? He wouldn’t harm himself would he?”
“I don’t think so, but I have been checking up on him more the past few days. It helps that he doesn’t like to be alone so he’s always out somewhere, either with Toby or over at Mom and Dad’s doing school work if he’s not making a video for his OnlyFans. He’s been so anxious lately, though, that both of those things are suffering. Mom has been helping some, trying to distract him by taking him out to lunch, or shopping, or getting his nails done, and Toby texts a lot to see how he's doing if they’re not together.”
“He could come down and hang with us at the bar,” I suggest. Pierre used to hang out at the bar all the time when he and Tommy met, and whenever Tommy wasn’t serving a customer he’d be talking with Pierre. It was kinda adorable watching their love story unfold right in front of me.
“Yeah, I might suggest that. I’m not sure it would help though since that’s where Cyrus used to hang out and doesn’t anymore. Might make it worse for Pierre, not better, if he’s blaming himself.”
I sigh. “That’s tough, man. You know I’m here for you guys if you need anything at all.”
He gives a soft smile. “I know. And just talking about it helps. And Pierre has been talking to his therapist, too.”
There’s a pause before Tommy speaks again. “So what’s going on with you and Bentley?”
I blink. “Nothing.”
He snorts. “Right, yeah, okay.” He takes a swig of his beer.
“We’re just friends,” I insist.
“Friends who flirt non-stop, huh? And look at each other with heart eyes?”
I gape. “I don’t…I haven’t.”
He laughs. “You absolutely have and do. Watching the two of you is nauseating.”
“Hey, look who’s talking, Mr. Can’t Keep My Hands Off My Man,” I retort, and he laughs.
“Look, it’s been clear to everyone that you and Bentley have feelings for each other since that first dinner at Mom and Dad’s. So why aren’t you doing anything about it? He’s a great guy.”
I scoff. “He’s straight.”
He eyes me. “So you admit you have feelings for him?”
I flush and scowl. “I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t deny it, though.”
“Ugh, fine. Yes, I have feelings for him, okay? I guess I’m coming out to you as bi now, or whatever. But it doesn’t matter because despite what everyone thinks, he doesn’t have feelings for me.”
“Wrong.”
I scowl at my brother again. “What makes you so sure?”
“Like I said, I have eyes. You should tell him how you feel.” He takes another drink, while I’m just holding mine, my grip on it tightening as we talk.
I shake my head. “I can’t. He’s my friend. My best friend. I can’t risk losing him by saying something.”
“You won’t lose him.”
I grit my teeth. “I can’t know that for sure, and besides, wouldn’t it be cruel to tell him how I feel knowing he can’t reciprocate? It’s pointless and it would just make him uncomfortable. And I would rather have him as my friend than not have him in my life at all because I can’t keep my mouth shut.”
“It’s not pointless if he feels the same way.”
“He doesn’t.”
Tommy sighs. “So you’re bi, huh?”
“Pretty sure, yeah,” I say. “Took some time and experimenting to figure it out, but yeah, I’m definitely into men, too. I don’t know how I’m just now figuring that out, though.”
