Bentley leaves shortly after, and Pierre perches on Tommy’s lap before kissing him sweetly. My chest squeezes, because I love seeing them in love, even if Pierre is having a tough time. My brother has been head over heels for his husband from the moment they met, and I know Pierre loves Tommy more than anything.
“I’m tired,” Pierre says.
“Go to bed, amor,” Tommy tells him, stroking his cheek. “I’ll take care of everything.”
Pierre gives him a soft smile. “Thank you.”
He turns to me and says goodnight.
“Night, squirt,” I tell him. “Sleep well.”
Tommy kisses him again and Pierre scoots off his lap and saunters off to the bedroom, closing the door behind him.
I help Tommy clean up the game and the snacks, and then we each grab a beer and head out to the balcony. It’s early spring, so it’s warmer out now, but still a bit chilly. The hoodie I’m wearing should be enough to keep me warm while we talk. Tommy grabs a blanket and brings it out with him and we take seats on the chairs they have set up.
“So, talk to me,” I say. “What’s going on? Does it have anything to do with the older guy you two were having fun with? I couldn’t help noticing he’s been scarce around the bar lately.”
Tommy sighs. “Yeah. It wasn’t meant to be more than a good time. Started out as one night, which turned into two, and then the three of us were hooking up on a regular basis. Pierre and I have never wanted more with a third before, but there was something about Cyrus that was different.”
“Was?” I ask.
Tommy sighs again, staring at his lap. “Yeah. We haven’t been over to his place in almost two weeks, and I’m managing okay. But Pierre…” he trails off.
“What happened?” I ask.
“Cyrus said he needs time. That he’s working through some things and he’s not sure what’s going to happen, or if he’ll want to keep doing what we’re doing. It’s been almost two months of the three of us, and just as Pierre and I were about to tell him we wanted more than just casual, he hit us with this.”
“You guys want him to be a permanent part of the relationship?” I ask, just to clarify.
“We do,” Tommy says. He gives a soft smile. “Honestly, Pierre and I were both scared of letting the other know that we were developing feelings for Cyrus, and it took a few days of us acting kinda weird around each other before we finally sat down and talked it out, but yeah, we’re both kinda head over heels for him it turns out.”
“You love him?”
He nods. “Yeah, I think we both do.”
“And he doesn’t know if he wants this?”
He nods again. “The thing is, I’m pretty sure he feels the same about us, but he’s scared. Something is keeping him from letting himself have us completely, but we don't know what.”
“So you think that’s what he’s working through?”
“Pretty sure. But Pierre thinks the reason Cyrus needs space is because of him. He’s convinced he’s the problem, that Cyrus doesn’t want to be with us because Pierre’s too “fucked up” as he puts it, and I don’t know what to say or do to make him see otherwise. But it’s killing me to see him so upset, not just about losing Cyrus, but thinking he’s responsible.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” I say. “That sounds really hard.”
There’s silence for a bit and then Tommy lets out a humorless chuckle. “Did you know that I had to propose to him three times before he actually said yes?”
My eyes widen. “What?”
“Yeah, he had a really hard time believing that I actually wanted to marry him. He was so sure I’d regret it, that I'd want to leave, and he didn’t want me to be stuck with him. Wanted me to have a way out, so he kept saying no.”
“Jesus.”
“I just want to go back in time and throat puncheveryone who made him feel like he was a problem and not worth caring about or fighting for. Everyone who saw him as a burden because he struggled. I think that’s what finally won him over, me being a persistent asshole. I just wore him down, I guess.” He chuckles again and takes a sip of his drink.
“He loves you, you know that.”
“I do. I just wish I could get him to see that he’s not just his struggles. That he’s so much more than what he gives himself credit for, and that being married to him is the best thing that ever happened to me. Maybe if he believed that, it would be easier to believe Cyrus cared for him, too, and that Pierre didn’t push him away.”
