I can practically feel him holding me down, those plush lips pressing kisses to my neck and chest, before moving to my nipples and sucking on them. I let out a wail as I pinch my own nipple and the dildo hits that rubbery spot over and over, making my body light up.
“Alex!” I cry out, my body shaking as I shoot my release all over my stomach and chest. I take a second to come down from the high of my orgasm, before I slowly slide the dildo out, thankful that I had the courage to purchase it even if Peyton did find out, because the orgasm I just had was worth every single second of embarrassment.
“You get five gold stars, my friend,” I tell it. As I stare at it I wonder what Alex’s dick looks like. If it’s anything like the one in my hand. Is he thick, or long, cut or uncut, does he manscape or does he have a wild bush of hair down there like I do? God, I’ve never wanted to know what another man’s dick looks like until he came along. Even with all the showering and changing we do at the gym I’ve never seen it. As wild and carefree as Alex is, I’ve noticed he’s also not the type to strip naked around strangers, or even me, and I kind of…like that about him.
I sigh as I stand and make my way to the bathroom. I hop in the shower for a quick clean up before sliding into clean boxer briefs and my warmest, coziest pajama bottoms, that just happen to be Supernatural themed; a gift from Peyton last Christmas. I slide into a long sleeved sleep shirt as well, before I climb into bed.
I grab the picture of Gram off my nightstand as I lie on my back, and just look at it for a second. I see that smile and I wonder again what she would think of Alex, or what shewould think of me having feelings for Alex. I have no doubt that she would support me no matter what because that’s who she was, and I have tears filling my eyes knowing she’ll never get to know that special person that I marry someday. I miss her so much. Her humor, her kindness, her sass. I miss her chocolate chip cookies and banana bread. Even though I have the recipes for all of her delicious treats and meals, it doesn’t seem to taste quite the same when I make them.
I miss her carefree spirit and her courage to stand up for what was right even if it cost her. I miss her optimism and that laugh that always made me feel like everything was going to be okay.
God, I could really use some of her wisdom right now. Because as much as she goofed off and joked around, she was also one of the smartest, most thoughtful people I knew.
“I miss you,” I tell her as tears slide down my cheeks. “I’m kinda lost right now. I don’t know what to do.” I wipe my tears and start to talk, like she’s really here and can hear me. Who knows, maybe she can. “I met this guy, Gram, and he’s, he’s really great, and I think I’m falling for him, but he’s straight, and,” I chuckle as more tears fall and I wipe them away, too. “And apparently I’m not. Did you know that? God, it’s strange to be realizing this in my thirties, but I’m kinda glad cause I would have hated to have gone my whole life never knowing this about myself.” I take a breath, pausing before I start again.
“Peyton thinks he likes me, too, but I can’t let myself believe it, because what if I’m wrong? What if I say something and he doesn't feel the same? I could ruin everything, and I’d rather have him in my life as a friend than not at all. It’s really hard, though, spending so much time with him, feeling like I’m falling harder and harder for him each day and not being able to do anything about it.Peyton says I should say something, but I’m too damn scared.
“I could really use your advice right now.”
Alex
I’m leaving my apartment to head to work later that week, and running a wee bit late as usual, when I open my front door and step into the hall in a hurry, only to be stopped by a box sitting on my doormat that has me tripping and nearly falling over. I’m caught by strong arms and inhale the scent of ocean and rain as Bentley lifts me back on my feet.
“You okay?” he asks, his voice warm and soft and as sexy as ever.
“Yeah,” I croak, almost whimpering when his arms leave me. “Thanks.”
I bend down to pick up the box, and flush when I realize what’s inside. It doesn’t have any pictures on it or anything but I recognize the return address. It’s the sex toys I bought so I could do more in depth experimenting. And the guy I’m undoubtedly going to be thinking about while I’m using them is right fucking here.
“What’s inside?” Bentley asks.
My brain fucking shuts down and I can’t think of anything to say, so I spew out the last thing I bought. “Coffee maker.”
He blinks and eyes it. “You sure? It’s kinda small for a coffee maker and kinda a weird shape.”
I panic. “Uh, well, you know, they can do all sorts of things with technology these days.” I pat him on the chest. “See you later.”
“Bye,” he says, and I practically shiver as that southern drawl sends electricity racing through my veins.
I get out to my car and open the door, throwing thestupid box with the stupid sex toys into the stupid passenger seat and then sitting down in my stupid seat. I turn the key with a vengeance, and it’s not nearly satisfying enough, so I climb back out of the car and grab some snow in my hand, before throwing it as hard as I can. Okay, owe, that hurt my shoulder.
I want to fucking scream because I’m so damn sick of feeling the way I do for Bentley, like my chest is going to burst or my mouth is going to open and blurt out something that will ruin everything. I turn around and kick the wheel of my car. Yeah, I’m just full of good ideas tonight, and no I apparently didn’t learn from the mistake I just made a second and a half ago, and I wince when my toes start to throb.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I growl, then climb back in the car and slam the door shut. I rest my head back on the seat and sigh, before I pull out of the parking lot and head to work.
It’s busy all night, and even though I get a couple of texts from Bentley, I don’t have time to open them. My feet ache and I’m fucking exhausted when the bar finally closes hours later and I head home. It’s not until I’m in bed that I remember Bentley’s texts, and by then I’m too close to falling asleep to worry about it.
Marble jumps up on the bed and settles on the pillow next to me, and I can’t help wondering what it would be like to fall asleep and wake up to a sexy as fuck Viking with a southern accent, to have his scent on my sheets, his warm, hard body curled around mine, those big, strong but gentle hands on me. It’s almost enough to make me break out my new toys, but I’m too damn tired. I think of how Bentley holds Marble, and how he fusses over her, and rubs her belly, and plants kisses on her head.
I have never in my life wanted to trade places with an animal until now.
Chapter Twelve
Alex
The following morning I wake up and feed Marble, before eating my own breakfast and having my morning tea. After that I take a shower and dress. I’m supposed to be going over to Bentley’s soon but I have a few minutes to spare. I remember the texts he sent me and open my phone. There’s three photos, two of him with Marble, her looking as spoiled and satisfied as ever, lying in his lap, curled in a ball in one, and in the other she’s on her back, while he rubs her belly. In the third she’s sitting and looking up at him, her blue eyes big, and her fur fluffed up, and it’s honestly a really cute picture of her. The caption reads,Marble says hi.
I text back,I don’t think she likes you at all.
