“Pebbling?”
“Yeah, like sending each other gifs and memes and stuff. Penguins do it.”
She looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “Penguins text each other?”
“No, they give each other pebbles as a sign of affection, and when people send texts or gifs or memes or whatever to each other, it’s called pebbling.” I show her my phone. Her smile gets so big she looks like the fucking cheshire cat as she scrolls through the texts.
“Oh my God,” she says. “You guys are totally flirting.”
I yank my phone away as if it’s in danger. “Are not.”
“Okay,” she says, raising her hands. “If you say so.”
I bite my lip. “You really think he’s flirting?”
“Um, I really think you’re both flirting. Honey, no guy texts his friend like that. He’s seriously got a hard on for you.”
My face flames again. “He’s straight.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.” She pauses as I worry my lip between my teeth. “Do you…want him to be flirting with you?”
I meet her eyes and there’s nothing there but care and affection. My voice is hoarse when I say, “Maybe.”
She squeals and I almost drop my phone a second time. “Omg, you two would be adorable together!”
“Yeah, well, as far as I know, I’m the only one with feelings and it sucks.”
“Have you talked to him?”
“No. I can’t.”
“How come? You’ll never know if he feels the same if you don’t say anything. And I’m pretty sure he’s got heart eyes for you, too, if those texts and the way he was looking at you at the skating rink are anything to go by.”
I shake my head. “That’s just Alex. He was just being nice.” I don’t tell her about the fact that he gives me foot massages every week while he reads to me, because she’d probably try to convince me that was him flirting too, and I can’t have her giving me false hope. But also because I kind of want to keep it just between me and Alex. It feels more special that way, even if it isn’t romantic. I don’t want to share that piece of him, of us, with anyone else.
She sighs and hops off my desk, resting her small hand on my arm. “I think you guys would be amazing together. I see how happy he makes you, and I want that for you. I’m just here to support you. You know that.”
I nod. “Yeah, I do. Thanks.”
She bites her lip. “So, while we’re on the subject. There was a package that arrived right before you got here, and I took it because you weren’t in yet. And I’m thinking it was maybe supposed to have discreet packaging, but it didn’t so much.”
“Oh my God,” I groan, sliding down the wall and covering my face with my hands. “I’m a turtle, and you can’t see me right now.”
She laughs. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Lots of people buy sex toys. I do.”
“Yeah, but you’re you.”
“Hey, you know what? I’m pretty sure introverts have sex, too.”
I remove my hands from my face, managing a small smile.
“I don’t see any problem with you exploring. Especially if you think you might be into a guy. It’s a good idea actually. It’ll help you know what you like if anything does happen. And look on the bright side, at least it came here instead of to your apartment.”
I sigh and rest my head against the wall. “Yay for that.”
She chuckles. “Come on, we better get ready. Your first appointment gets here in ten minutes.” She holds her hand down to me and I grab it, letting her haul me up. As embarrassed as I am, it kinda feels good for her to know, and to not have to hide either my feelings for Alex anymore, or the fact that I’m wanting to try some new things in the bedroom. Even if nothing ever happens between Alex and I, at least I know now that I’m into men and women, and that makes things a little different when it comes to dating. When I finally do get out there again, I want to know what I like. And if I just happen to picture Alex while I’m using my new toys, there’s no harm in that, right?
That night I once again have Alex front and center in my mind while I work my brand new flesh colored dildo into my ass, my eyes closed and mouth parted, hair loose and tumbling across my pillow as I move my hips, chasing my pleasure as the magic toy nudges my prostate again and again. I was a bit nervous about sticking something so big up my ass, but after watching a couple of how to videos and using a ridiculous amount of lube, I was finally able to relaxand let it slide inside me, and holy fuck, it’s been one hell of an experience. The only thing that would be better is if it were Alex’s cock buried inside me, making my body sing with pleasure, making me come so hard I see stars.
