When he returns he sits a little bit closer to me than he was before, the bowl of popcorn in between us, and his honey and vanilla scent fills my nostrils. It’s all I can do not to let out a groan and bury my nose in his thick dark waves.
My dick jerks and I am thankful that my knitting supplies are covering my lap. If Alex saw me getting hard while he was sitting next to me it’d freak him the fuck out. And hell, I’d be humiliated.
He laughs at something Dean says and then reaches for the popcorn at the same time as me, and our fingers brush. Holy fuck, how does that miniscule skin to skin contact have my body lighting up? Jesus Christ, this is so fucking stupid. I feel like a middle schooler with a crush.
I’m torn between trying not to reach for the popcorn at the same time as him, and doing it on purpose, because I want to touch him, but I don’t at the same time because I know it’s a bad idea, just putting thoughts in my head that have no business being there. He’s my friend. That’s it.
I decide to take my own break a bit later and head to the bathroom, more to cool off than anything else. Being around him shouldn’t feel like such fucking torture. I breathe and will my half hard dick to deflate, then splash some cold water on my face.
When I return Alex grins at me and pats the sofa. “You up for one more, cowboy?” he says.
I smile because I love that he’s enjoying my favorite show so much, and watching the episodes all over again with someone who’s never seen them before is exciting. Besides that I secretly love that nickname, and hearing it come from his lips. “Sounds good.”
We watch three more episodes in all, pausing after the second one to have lunch. I’ve made a decent amount of progress on the blanket I’m knitting for Peyton, too, which I’m happy about.
When we’ve had our fill ofSupernaturalfor the day Alex breaks outLittle Womenand I lie down with Marble tucked against my stomach and my feet pressed against Alex’s thigh. It’s not the most comfortable, being as tall as I am, my knees bent quite a bit. But I don’t want to just assume he’s okay with me having my feet in his lap just because we did it once. But when he opens the book, he looks at me.
His cheeks are slightly flushed and he’s biting his lip when he says, “You can put your feet on my lap if you want. I don’t mind.”
Hell, I can’t say no to him. I don’t want to say no. So I pick my feet up and place them on his lap, and he gives me the biggest grin, his hand immediately finding my socked foot and rubbing circles on it with his thumb. Fuck, that feels good. Better than it has any right to.
“This okay?” he asks, and I nod.
“Feels nice,” I tell him, my voice thick, and raspier thannormal, and I swear his cheeks flush even more. I listen, then, while he reads, that smooth, soft voice lulling me into relaxation and taking me to another time and place, allowing me to escape with him, and these four heart warming sisters.
Jesus Christ. I may not be the smartest person on the planet, but I know two things for certain. One, I’ll never get enough of him touching me. And two, I’m not getting over this crush on him any time soon.
Alex
Oh my God, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. What was with all the fucking flirting I was doing yesterday? Could I have been any more obvious? I pulled the famous, “get up and pretend to need something so I can sit down closer to you instead of just scooting over because that would be too obvious” trick. And then telling him he could put his feet on my lap? Jesus, Alex, get it together! Although, to be fair, he didn’t seem to mind either one of those things. And the way it felt when our hands touched when we reached for the popcorn at the same time? God, I felt like a teenager with how goddamn giddy it made me.
And, as long as he’s not telling me to back the fuck off, what’s one more harmless little flirtation, right?
Fuck, okay, here it goes. I take out my phone and open my texts to Bentley, then search for the gif I want. There’s several to choose from and I tap one, then click the little paper airplane and let it do its magic.
I get a text back from him a second later.
Cowboy: Huh?
Me: You’ve been pebbled. Get it? Dwayne Johnson? The Rock?
Cowboy: haha, so clever
Cowboy: Penguin gif
Goddamn it I fucking swoon. And even though I know better, part of me wonders if he knows what I’m doing and is flirting right back. The goosebumps breaking out all over my body are telling me I’m far more gone on him that I even realized.
Chapter Ten
Alex
So, update on me and my self love sessions. It’s been a few more weeks of hanging out with Bentley to watch Supernatural, work out, and readLittle Womento him, which is slow going because we only have so much time together each week, but we’re still going strong with it and he’s enjoying the story. And I am falling for him more and more every fucking day. Every time we talk, every time we text and send those ridiculous penguin and The Rock gifs, which we’re still doing weeks later, or the Supernatural gifs we send every Thursday as our “reminder.” Every time he makes me laugh, every time he fusses over my prickly cat, or has a cup of tea ready for me when Marble and I go over to his place. Every time his feet are on my lap and I get to touch him, the few times I rubbed his foot in a way that made him laugh because I was tickling him, the way he smells, the way he blushes. Everything about him is driving me crazy. And I’ve decided that it’s time for me to man up, and do something I’ve never done before.
We’ve developed an open door policy, which basicallymeans we can enter each other’s apartments whenever as long as the door is unlocked, and we don’t need to knock every time, so I’ve made sure my door is locked now, because having him barge in on me while I’m in the middle of exploring would suck ass.
I’ve jerked off to Bentley more times than I care to admit, and it’s making me realize that maybe, just maybe, I’m not as straight as I thought I was. Yes, I know, I’m a little slow on the uptake, but I’ve been fucking nervous okay?
I’ve also noticed that I find myself looking at the other men in the gym way more now than I used to, too, and I think it’s time for me to do a type of exploration I haven’t yet. Because if being into guys is something that’s a part of who I am, I want to know. I want to know that part of myself, and embrace it, not keep it buried or hidden.
