He had not forgotten that Tahlen needed rest, even if Tahlen had.
He waited, holding onto the bed while his knees wobbled, but when Tahlen only continued to stare at him, he took that as permission to look around until he found Tahlen’s packs, abandoned on the floor. He found the comb easily. If Tahlen hadn’t been so weary, he might have done more than sit still as Zelli came around his chair.
Zelli gently swept the comb through what hair remained, sighing to realizing Tahlen had chopped the braid off at the back of his neck and the rest of this was someone’s—probably Esrin’s—attempt to even the length.
He worked carefully around Tahlen’s ears, stopping helplessly when he reached the spot where he would have put a small braid if Tahlen would have let him. He spoke in a whisper. “Will you grow it out again or leave it short like the other guards?”
Tahlen dropped his shoulders in a shrug. “I’ve been thinking of you, not my hair.”
Zelli tossed the comb to the bed, then didn’t know what to do with his useless hands except rest them on the chair. “Iamsorry for hurting you.”
Tahlen reached up to take hold of one of Zelli’s hands and tugged until Zelli shuffled closer. Then Zelli was pulled into Tahlen’s lap once again, slowly, with the tenderest care. It left him warm and undoubtedly affectionate-pink beneath his clothes, or perhaps different shades of pleased-yellows—or possibly a light blue as he thought of why Tahlen needed him so close.
He wasn’t sure of the chair, but though it creaked, it didn’t break. Tahlen’s sigh was satisfied.
Zelli tapped his shoulder. “I will court you regardless of any intended.” He would make that clear too. “Grandmother seems to think the fae’s actions were dramatic enough that no one will bother us, not without significant motivation. You would think killing her brother would be that for Tye, but… I don’t understand people like Tye of the Villucatto. Regardless, if an alliance is still required, which Grandmother doubts, I will make it clear to everyone how much I value you. How muchtheyshould value you.” He found the rowan tree and petted it, then the hollow of Tahlen’s throat, while Tahlen breathed faster and let him. “Any intended will have to be strong enough to deal with that. As strong as you are. I still don’t know the correct word to describe you, so beautiful will have to do.”
A shudder tore through Tahlen.
“I don’t know what I would say to you as our hands are bound together.” Tahlen stopped there, probably for the sound Zelli made, too close to a squeak. “But I’d want it to be like what I said to you the first time I approached you, even if I’d hope you’d understand me now.” Zelli shook his head, because he didn’t. Tahlen briefly shut his eyes as if pained. “When I had been here a while, your grandmother took me with her and the others to travel the valley. The journey lasted a month because she didn’t want to travel fast. And when we finally returned, you were out. In the village on some errand, I think. You had undoubtedly noticed her retinue being welcomed back, but you kept to your work. I thought I would see you that evening, but I was sent to rest, so it was several days before I saw you again. I remember being irritated that I hadn’t gotten to hear your grandmother tell you of her judgments and listen to your thoughts on them. I remember my annoyance keenly.”
“You made friends on that journey,” Zelli commented. “More than one, I bet, as a handsome young guard who shares his smiles with others.”
Tahlen gave Zelli a heated look. “But then,” he began sternly, “there you were. Nothing had changed about you; a month is not long enough for that if you’re grown. But youhadchanged. You grew red as you spoke to me, but you kept yourself back. That bothered me too, though I knew it meant your grandmother must have said something to you.”
Zelli put his hands to his cheeks and stayed silent.
Tahlen tugged Zelli’s hands down. “You said, ‘I’m happy you’ve returned and have decided to stay for good. Grandmother tells me you’ve given her your oath. Did it help you decide, to witness her judgments and see her with everyone? You’re very thoughtful. I admire that about you.’”
“I said I admired you?” Zelli asked, not meekly, but hardly proud of himself. He should have remembered.
“Yes.” Tahlen plucked at one of Zelli’s sleeves. “For something other than what I was usually admired for.”
Zelli’s frown of outrage at how guards and Tahlen were sometimes treated melted away when Tahlen spoke again.
“And I thought,Oh, this little Tialttyrin is as dangerous as the others say. Then I left you there and performed my duties for weeks while thinking of it. You gave me that gift for no reason. You listen when I talk. You care if I’ve been on my feet all day and haven’t eaten, if I’ve been away and haven’t seen Esrin, if my cat has a name.” Tahlen paused and glanced to Tippit before sighing and lowering Zelli’s hand. “You are generous, powerful, and clever. More people are going to realize that soon. They’ll want you before they ever meet you.”
“And then they will be afraid of me, as Kear was.” Zelli went still, then raised his head when Tahlen splayed a hand over his chest where the scar was, as if he knew the spot well.
“Some of them will want you more,” Tahlen said, low and sad.
He seemed sure of it. Zelli wasn’t. “Kear thought I was a creature from a nightmare, but I would have hand-fasted with him to keep you from fighting. For the others as well, as is my duty. But mostly for you.”
Tahlen didn’t lift his gaze from the button on Zelli’s robe he was toying with. “You deserve better than your family. Either side.”
“Be careful,” Zelli shushed him, putting a hand over Tahlen’s mouth.
“They like the truth and I will speak it,” Tahlen said against Zelli’s palm. “Your grandmother is wise and does the best she can, but this fortress, this village, hold together because of your efforts.Youdo Nya’s tasks when she’s forgotten them, and the staff have learned to speak withyouwhen matters need to be attended to urgently. It’s your relatives in the capital who are useless, which is why I never realized you thought you were. I didn’t realize many things, because you were matter-of-fact about being a bargaining piece in a negotiation to save a family that did not care about you, and your arguments are always—mostly—thought through, and you are determined and so full of care that you cannot be still.”
The robe had been unbuttoned at the top while Zelli had stared at Tahlen in disbelief, and Tahlen, without returning Zelli’s stare, slid a hand over the scar. His palm was warm through Zelli’s shirt.
“You are also very pretty, Zelli.” For that, Tahlen looked at him again at last. “I like your shoulders and the red of your mouth and the way you sit a horse. The rest… that is merely more of you to admire. It’s pretty as well, the way that wolves are pretty.”
Zelli picked up Tahlen’s hand from his chest to gnaw lightly on his knuckles.
“I am nibbling,” he admitted, biting a little harder when Tahlen began to grow flushed. “Because you like this part of me, and you forgive me—or will forgive me, someday—for what happened. No one else would, I suspect, not in the way that you do, and that is why….” He stopped chewing to whisper. “Don’t be upset, but I wonder if that they knew this, the fae, in the way that they know things. And that’s one of the reasons they brought you here.”
“Did they bring me here?” Tahlen asked, surprisingly mild about it, but hewasvery tired.
