It did seem an inexplicable choice now that Let had drawn attention to it. Most of the Vallithi guards had died with the family.
Zelli raised his head. Whatever Tahlen saw in his face made him sigh, then hand Zelli the bowl and order him to eat.
“A guard saved us,” Tahlen explained to the others. He might have intended to leave it there. “Eat, Zelli.” Zelli huffed but obeyed. Tahlen glanced around and though Zelli did not understand what the multiple stares he got meant, Tahlen must have. He worked his jaw but then elaborated. “It is Vallithi to offer our loyalty.”To our peril and end, he did not say, but Zelli heard it. “It’s in…wasin the family histories. But it’s just a story. The Lith and the Val offering their swords in service to the first Earl to calm so many of the others.”Calmmeantsubduein some cases, but since the actions of that Earl had led to an eventual peace, many ignored that part of the histories. “Once the families joined, they kept that legacy. But first, there was the tale of one of the initial rebellions, when they had to flee and found themselves in a strange land. They asked the fae for guidance or a light to travel by, and the stars above them grew brighter. The Morning Lance,” Tahlen named the constellation, which had the shape of the clusters of tiny white flowers that popped up in fields in the spring. “To give them direction.”
“So the Vallithi have always been favored by the fae, huh?”
The question did not come from Fy. Zelli twisted around to stare at Nari in surprise and then indignation. But Nari was grinning, and soon, so were some of the others. Small, playful expressions that Zelli had often seen on the faces of the Tialttyrin guards when they teased one another. Zelli turned back to Tahlen, who showed no sign of irritation. He merely looked at Zelli and said, “Eat.”
Zelli ate resentfully though the stew was good. “I forgot you liked your histories. Do you know more?”
Tahlen was openly surprised. “More Vallithi history?”
Zelli shrugged. “Any histories that are not boring.”
“Maybe they’re not boring becauseheis the one telling them?” Fy suggested, nearly cooing. He stopped when Zelli nodded.
“Yes, exactly. Oh, but first he should eat.” Zelli smiled at the others. “I would tell you Tialttyrin stories while he does that, but I don’t know many of them, and they mostly involve, um, bedding the fae.” He quickly shoveled more stew into his mouth.
“No, no. Go on. Tahlen has to eat, after all.” Fy gave Zelli a look that reminded him of the outguard Mil, though Zelli couldn’t have said why.
Tahlen got to his feet and Fy skittered out of his way, to Vint’s amusement, although Fy came back soon enough, his chin on his hands. “I am sure we all would like to hear these family histories. Wouldn’t we, everyone? Tahlen?”
“Oh.” Zelli paused. “If you think it’s interesting, though it does not involve any stars.” He met Tahlen’s eyes, so very far away over by the firepit. “My uncle calls this story Alwyn Tyrin—the families had not intermarried yet—and the Autumn Gift.”
Twelve
In truth, even though there were at least three different tales claiming to be about the first Tialttyrin to lie with the fae and be given a sign of their favor, tales the family regarded as love stories, Zellididthink they were more about fucking.
Though they were surprisingly short on details in that respect. At least, as Zelli’s uncles had told them to him. At crucial points, the language turned to imagery more suited to poems, as if people had fruit and flowers between their legs, or pearls at their breasts, or wore robes made of jewels. Maybe that was why the other guards were content to listen to Tahlen tell them another history afterward.
This history, of one of the original Earls, was not a Vallithi story, but no one pressed Tahlen for more of those. Zelli appreciated that. Not even Fy, who seemed to be the most daring, was willing to risk dredging up a painful memory for Tahlen.
They offered no tales of the Lyralinah and Zelli returned their kindness and discretion by not asking for any, although he did wonder if any of them had left family behind and what was to be done about that.
When it grew dark enough and fog was visible in the distance, they built up the fire and everyone began to settle in the places each must have claimed for a bed. A few of them chose spaces next to each other, although that might have been for warmth, since none of them embraced or as much as held hands.
Tahlen put his and Zelli’s packs at the base of a large tree, farther from the fire than most of the others but near enough to use its light. He wanted to watch the other guards, even now, and likely would not sleep again if Zelli allowed it.
Zelli cleaned as best as he could in the cold stream, then, shivering, kneeled down between their packs to watch Tahlen watch everyone. He stared until Tahlen sat down next to him, then looked at him with an eyebrow raised.
“I’m sorry for telling them your name.” Zelli whispered even with the others at a distance, some already lying down to sleep. He felt it needed to be said, although Tahlen probably knew why he’d done it. “From how it was spoken by Bree at the judgments, I thought it might be useful in convincing them to trust us. But I still should not have done it.”
Tahlen regarded Zelli steadily, then shook his head. “It’s not a secret. I don’t mind.” That might have been true or only partly true. Zelli continued to stare. Tahlen’s expression hardened, then all at once he sighed and his ire vanished. “They would have liked our name used to protect you. That, I don’t mind.”
“It was Vallithi to do it?” Zelli guessed carefully. “Or to have the name used so? Then I’m glad, but I still won’t do it again.”
“If only others were more like you.” Tahlen made his strange almost-wish for the third time. “And, yes, you will do it again, if you think it will help. And I will follow, I said, and I meant it. I don’t always understand you, but you try to do what is best for everyone. Even when you refused me, you did it because you didn’t think the courtship would make me happy. I can trust your intentions, though they might hurt.”
“I didn’t actually…” Zelli inched closer, frowning. “Is that what you were about to say earlier?”
Tahlen swept a look over the campsite, the flickering firelight and the bodies still moving. Sounds, if not words, drifted over to them. Wain was on guard duty, sitting up in a tree branch, as if that would let anyone see through the fog.
“We can talk about that at another time,” Tahlen said at last. “When we’re somewhere else and alone.”
“I did not actually refuse you,” Zelli remembered to say. Tahlen’s attention was sudden and sharp. Zelli held up a hand. “You should know that, at least. If it matters.” He swallowed. “I don’t know what I would have done, but you heard words I didn’t say.”
He was grateful the firelight spared him some of the terrible beauty of Tahlen’s eyes. Tahlen did not look away. Zelli finally did, his breath catching when Tahlen took his hand.
