Zelli imagined Tahlen would have welcomed torture over this conversation. Or maybe he thought itwastorture. He clenched his jaw between one sentence and the next. Yet he was speaking. Zelli didn’t know why, but he wasn’t going to ignore it or quibble over memories.
“All right. Regarding those days, I believe you.” Zelli was willing to accept Tahlen’s view of their first meetings. “But you don’t joke with me as you do with others. You’ll share smiles with Mayor Sar but even when I try to be amusing…. It’s nothing. Don’t worry. You don’t need to like me.”
Eyebrows raised, lips parted, Tahlen actually seemed taken aback, as though Zelli hadn’t spoken the truth. “I suppose I’ve learned to be reserved,” he said at last, after a long, long pause.
“With me more than anyone else?” Zelli scowled again but turned his head so Tahlen wouldn’t take the brunt of it. “It’s probably because Icannotbe reserved. It’s a skill I don’t have,” he admitted sadly. “You learned it for a reason. I don’t blame you. But you asked why I don’t understand you and the answer is that you don’t let me.”
Tahlen’s flummoxed expression did not disappear. But he pressed his lips together, then allowed a handsome frown to take over his handsome face. “Maybe, when I found a place of safety, I should have learned how to be less guarded.”
“Really, Tahlen, don’t worry over it.” Zelli resumed trying to ease the discomfort beneath his skin. “I’m certain I am the problem. I am always the problem.”
“The fae don’t think so if they watch over you.” Tahlen’s warm disagreement nearly stole Zelli’s breath. “They’re also your family, even if you don’t know them and they are distant. Only one day away from the walls of your home and they found you and tried to help you after I left you upset.”
“Tahlen.” Zelli could only manage that. He stilled his hand over his heart. “Oh,Tahlen.”
Tahlen seemed confused by how sweetly Zelli exhaled his name. “Are you in pain?”
“What?” Zelli asked, struggling to recall what they had been talking about before all this. “No, not exactly. I am… uncomfortable. As if my clothes are too tight or I’ve stepped into a patch of itchy weeds and they somehow entered my veins.” As if the hollow place in his chest had grown so large that he would never be able to settle or know peace. “It’s vexing, which makes it not unlike my one of my other problems. So, it should be bearable, at least.”
He tried to smile to reassure Tahlen.
Tahlen held out his hand.
Zelli stared at it, mesmerized. He swallowed. Despite the water, his mouth was very dry. “I wouldn’t force you to.”
“I’m well aware of that, Zelli of the Tialttyrin. And that if you say you can bear it, you will do your best to do so.”
Yet he offered his hand anyway.
Zelli lifted his gaze to meet Tahlen’s. He still could not read it, but wondered what Tahlen saw in his and what color his eyes were for this.
He put his hand in Tahlen’s and sighed heavily as the wrongness slid away.
“Now,” Tahlen announced, “you’ll eat and rest.”
Zelli could not fault him for his satisfaction. “All of a sudden, I find I’m ravenously hungry.”
He had a pie—Tahlen insisted—and two apples, and three biscuits. He worried over the state of his palm against Tahlen’s—perhaps it was too sweaty—and finally tugged his hand free to brush away crumbs and the dirt from his fall.
The unpleasantness returned, but he bit his lip and attempted to straighten his hair while Tahlen put away the rest of the food.
Tahlen broke the peaceful silence with the question. “You said it was new to you?”
Zelli glanced over. “Yes. But, usually, with most of the issues, they are brief. A day or two and only rarely debilitating.”
Tahlen was deadly serious. “You’ll tell me if you think it will become so?”
It would be rather obvious, Zelli reflected, burying his panic at the thought. No words would be needed.
“Is it something embarrassing?” Tahlen, fae curse him, read Zelli’s thoughts again, and correctly this time. “You’ve certainly hidden that well, you and your grandmother.” He put up a hand. “You don’t have to share what it is. Simply tell me if you think we need to hurry home, or… or if you have any other needs I can help you with.”
He had no idea what he was doing to Zelli, no matter what color Zelli’s eyes were. Zelli wanted to sink his teeth into Tahlen’s muscled shoulder or just put his mouth there; he wasn’t really sure which. He made himself look away.
“Your duty doesn’t extend that far,” he fairly squeaked.
Tahlen did not sound pleased. “Zelli, you called down the fae because I was too distant with you. I don’t want that to happen again. Please, will you tell me if something gets worse?”
“All right. I’ll tell you,” Zelli agreed delicately. “But you were understandably distant.” He looked back at Tahlen. “You don’t have to speak about your family to me. To be clear, that wasn’t what upset me. They’re yours to remember. I disliked that I stumbled onto the subject and you were hurt.”
