“People find him intimidating,” Nicodemus remarked, as though he had not also been nervous around Bel only days ago. He felt lighter saying the words and suspected it was pride in the fact that they were wary of Bel’s power. The things the Realm had revealed about Nicodemus tonight. Nicodemus shook his head at himself, but he’d worry about it later. Right now, Donovan and Alistair were wary of Bel but they were willing to talk to him anyway, for Nicodemus’ sake.
He smiled, only for a moment, but he meant it. “I’m glad I keep this house,” he informed them both softly, although they wouldn’t understand. He raised his voice. “I’ll speak with Bel. Don’t worry. He’s also concerned about it and thinks I should find someone better. He’s wrong, of course.”
Alistair and Donovan’s matching expressions said they doubted this. But Bel had not been vague in his directions on how they had to stay with Nicodemus, and he had not been subtle with his displeasure at the idea of harm coming to Nicodemus while Nicodemus was defenseless in his rut.
That was the timeline that had Bel worried, and why he’d left to chase the creature down and kill it without so much as a goodbye. If the creature came now, Nicodemus might be able to banish it again. If it came while his affliction was near or at its peak…Nicodemus would likely not even notice.
He looked down at his hand on top of the tin, but there was no sign of any of change, no hint of magic as some might have wished. He wasn’t really sure how using the magic of the Realm worked on Earth, other than making the first Ring, and—
He froze. He was a peculiari. He had gone into the Ring and used its magic and then returned to Earth, alive and unchanged. Nicodemus was apeculiariand he hadn’t felt a thing.
Well, he’d felt one thing, but he didn’t think Bel’s cock was the force behind the Realm.
He shook his head again, although it didn’t do much to clear his thoughts, and tried to be as impassive as Bel. He didn’t think it worked. Alistair and Donovan had definitely realized Nicodemus was a peculiari before he had, which was mortifying, although it felt ridiculous to find that humiliating when they both also knew Nicodemus would soon be writhing on his bed and calling for anyone to fuck him.
“I’ve had a lot of my mind,” he heard himself saying in his defense, although neither of them had uttered a word in a while.
“Nicodemus?” Donovan asked, so carefully. “Can I get you some water or something?”
Water sounded lovely. Nicodemus nodded, then shook his head. “Are neither of you are going to tease me about—” he tried to think of the proper word, then gave up “—choosing Bel? You would tease any of the others for any sort of conquest.”
“Are you going to tease us?” Donovan wondered in return, almost playfully, putting a cup of water in front of Nicodemus.
“Fuck you, I’m not your conquest,” Alistair snapped heatedly.
Donovan rolled his eyes. “Oh, we’re going to be that sensitive, are we?”
Nicodemus thought of Bel, and how nice it had been to eat dinner in calm silence with him, something he hadn’t ever imagined but which he missed dearly now. Not the food. He wasn’t hungry. But the silence. And Bel.
He sighed. “Alistair, is Donovan your new special friend, or is this something else?”
Bel would have given him a startled, pleased look for that. But at least the kitchen was momentarily peaceful.
“We don’t even get along,” Alistair answered at last. Donovan did not object. They agreed on one thing.
Nicodemus thoughtfully tapped the tin of cookies again. “Do you know what occurred to me tonight? A lot of things did—it was a fruitful night. But something that stands out to me now is that sometimes how we react to another person has less to do with them and more to do what they make us feel and how we don’t know what to do with that. Which isn’t their fault, is it? I used to worry I was too much…. And now I discover I am, and all that worry kept me from taking what was mine.” He stopped and looked down to realize he’d emptied his cup of water. Yet he was still so warm. “I think I’ll go take a real bath now. I’m starting to get tired.”
The other two stood up when he did and hovered near without touching him. He wondered why, but it was probably also none of his business.
“That happens after moments of action,” Donovan said wisely. “You suddenly get tired. Go rest.”
“But, uh, keep the washroom door open?” Alistair suggested. “And yell if you need anything. I’d help you but—”
“Bel,” Nicodemus finished for him on a sigh, and shuffled out the door with his cookie tin in hand.
IN THE END, Nicodemus sat in the bath until the already cool water was nearly cold. He got out because Donovan demanded to know if he was awake, and then if there was any food in the house. He dried off and slipped back into his nightshirt and trousers, not realizing he had forgotten to reapply his salve until he was already in the kitchen.
Donovan got him another cup of water. Nicodemus thanked him, then shuffled around the kitchen for a while. He had the ingredients to make drop biscuits if he used a tin of milk, although he didn’t trust tinned products. Alistair shooed him away from the oven before he could make them, insisting they’d go get breakfast once Bel arrived, or lunch, if it came to that. Donovan gave him a dirty look for it, but didn’t argue.
Nicodemus was pleased, since he didn’t want to stand in front of the oven. He didn’t want to stand, period, so he finally sat at the table again, his chin in his hand, and then eventually, his head on his arms. He didn’t usually stay up all night, or leave the house, or engage in vigorous sexual congress with monsters.
He thought he really should eat if he was going to stay up and wait for Bel. Or perhaps have food ready for him. Bel would likely be famished.
But Donovan shushed him and Alistair tucked him back into his seat when he got up, so Nicodemus sat, and worried, and eventually, closed his eyes.
NICODEMUSWAS in his room, despite not remembering coming here. Everything was fuzzy, but he could tell a single light was on, the gas turned down to leave the room dim. The fire was also lit, burning low but still far too hot even though Nicodemus was across the small room on his bed. He was not under the covers, and frowned and reached toward the stand at the head of the bed for his spectacles.
They were there, next to a cup that Nicodemus had no memory of bringing in. He slipped his glasses on and raised his head, then went still when the shape in the doorway became Bel.
