He ended the call and pushed his phone back into his pocket, then bent to pick up our helmets. Handing mine to me, I took it, but made no move to put it back on.
“C’mon beautiful, let’s go get some food and find a place to relax for a while. We’ll do some quick research on decent hotels in Northwood while we eat.”
“What will King say to Indy?” I asked, needing more reassurance that my staff will be protected.
If The Reaper’s Wings sent guys to follow Cain, who’s to say they didn’t have people at the bar right this second?
“He’ll tell her everything. King’s not one to withhold information once we’ve decided someone is entitled to it.”
His choice of wording instantly sent a spark of irritation through my chest. “So you’ve decided I’m not entitled to information, then?”
“What?” Cain asked, confused.
“You never bothered to fill me in on what happened during the last Church meeting after those assholes came to the bar. Am I not entitled to information?”
“Baby, of course you are.” He stood in front of me, holding his helmet against his side. “I didn’t think youwantedto know since you never asked. The last thing I wanted to do was add more stress to your plate by bringing it up when you hadn’t asked for it, and I figured since you hadn’t, you just wanted to push it away. Out of sight, out of mind—that type of thing. I dunno. Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”
“Alright,” I said simply, annoyed that his apology could so quickly thaw my anger. “Let’s just go, I need to eat. As you can see, the hangry is happening.” I tugged on my helmet and kicked my leg back over the side of the bike.
Climbing back on, he popped the kickstand up and as he pulled his helmet over his head he said, “I love you even when you’re hangry.”
* * *
I wasn’t expectinga trip down memory lane tonight, but as I sat on a small boulder overlooking Northwood while forcing myself to eat my meal from In-N-Out, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of déjà vu wash over me.
In a lot of ways, history really does repeat itself.
Except in some capacity, the past seemed a lot more simple than the present.
My mind wandered while I admired the twinkling lights from the cities in the distance as they danced across the dark night sky. This place never failed to take my breath away.
“You know,” I said, popping a small French fry into my mouth. Even though my appetite was gone and I was forcing myself to eat, it was still an unspoken rule that you had to eat In-N-Out French fries before everything else, because cold fries sucked. “If you had just once asked me to leave him back then, I would have without hesitation.”
It wasn’t really fair of me to bring up the past when there were bigger issues at play, but being in this spot—the spot where I fell in love with him—was dredging up old feelings.
Cain looked down at his burger and pulled the wrapper lower. He took a bite and chewed it slowly before he responded.
“The biggest regret I have in life was not fighting for you back then. If I could go back in time, I would do everything different. I should have shown you how much you meant to me and proven myself to be a man worthy of your love. There’s nothing that pisses me off more than thinking about how I was always just his brother to you.”
I finished my burger and crumpled up the wrapper into a tight ball.
He was never just Brent’s brother to me. He wasalwaysso much more.
But what was he now?
Yet again, we’d fallen into uncharted territory and even though things felt more stable between us, there was still so much unknown.
After dropping my trash into the bag that sat on the ground between us, I reached up and pulled my jacket tighter around me. “And now? What are you now?”
At the same time, our heads tilted toward each other, and our eyes met.
“I’ll be whatever you want me to be, Rose. Whatever you’llletme be. Your friend, your boyfriend. Lover, husband, protector. I want to beeverythingto you, but I’ll settle for being whatever you need me to be.”
Tears pricked the back of my eyes. I looked away and back out at the city lights. “You really do love me, don’t you?”
“Love doesn’t even begin to cover the depths of my feelings for you. I’d lay down my life if it meant you got to live yours happily.”
I choked back a sob, flying to my feet and crashing onto his lap. The rush of emotions that ricocheted into me had me feeling completely out of sorts, as though I was experiencing everything from the outside looking in.
